Is it normal to not feel any identification with your gender?

78% Normal
15 Comments

I don’t mean feeling like the opposite gender. I was born female and I don’t feel like a male. I just don’t feel any real camaraderie or identification with women as a group at all. It’s not like a “not like other girls” thing, and I don’t look down on other women, I think they’re great. I just don’t really feel any commonality with them. And not at all in a negative way. When I think of myself I don’t think of myself as a woman or a man. Just a person. To me identifying with members of your own gender and “feeling like a woman” is just as irrelevant as identifying with, say, people with blue eyes and “feeling like a blue eyed person”. I don’t feel like it has any bearing on any part of my personality or who I am. I just happen to be a consciousness in a body with ovaries and tits lmao. That’s why trying to think of myself explicitly as a woman makes me kind of uncomfortable. Is it normal to feel such a lack of identification with your own gender??

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 9 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • KholatKhult
    2 years ago

    The whole concept of “gender” is based in stereotypes and societal norms.
    I hate the entire debate.

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    • Chuckinthisout
      2 years ago

      Well yes and no. That’s the distinction I’m trying to make here. I’m not saying “girls seem to be x way in society or media or on the internet, and I’m not” bc that’s really normal. Many people don’t fit stereotypes for their gender. I just find it odd that so many women I know personally identify with the category of female in that they feel like it is at least a part of who they are. Not talking stereotypes here, but actual members of the group who feel a connection to that group. I’m saying that’s what I don’t feel

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      • KholatKhult
        2 years ago

        Women stick to each other in a more communal way because of herd safety. When my wife and I walk into a party or get together my wife will usually gravitate towards talking with other women, as she has a bit of social anxiety and she knows she can atleast feel a bit more comfortable with other women.

        Honestly, you can see this in racial grouping too. Asians and Jews are really this way. In predominantly white areas most Asians will end up somehow in a very ‘coincidental’ Asian-majority group.

        It’s human nature to search for safety, and it’s human nature to assume safety among those who are most like you. Just simple default bias settings in our monkey brains

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        • Chuckinthisout
          2 years ago

          You’re right people of certain ethnic groups are often drawn to each other, even if it’s not consciously. This could be for safety reasons, and commonality could also be a part of it too. If I were raised overseas, I would find a sense of community or commonality in a pocket of people who I felt were like me in an otherwise strange place. Maybe same goes for your wife at parties. I’m saying I don’t feel this way about being a woman. Doing what your wife does at a party would feel as foreign to me as saying “gee I sure hope there are other people at this party who have 28 teeth”. Don’t get me wrong I’m not calling her illogical, I actually think it makes sense if gender has even a slight bearing on who you feel like you are (which seems to be the case for most people)

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  • SkullsNRoses
    2 years ago

    What does it mean to you to “feel like a woman”?

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    • Chuckinthisout
      2 years ago

      Good question. The women I know seem to find kinship in being a woman. They have some interests or personality traits in common with other women that give them a sense of belonging and camaraderie with other women that goes beyond superficial traits. I just feel like I don’t get that

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  • darefu
    2 years ago

    What do you identify with?

    I think since social media became part of life, maybe not nessesarily part of your life but life in general, people have been saying if you're this then you act, do, or like this.

    Belonging to a group comes from participation. As stated earlier when a person walks into a room of strangers they have a tendency to gravitate to people they have or feel they have something in common with.

    In some cases this is nothing more than race, ethnicity, or gender. Other times it can be jobs or career, journalist, military, sports player, anything that a person can see or identify with.

    There are others that will make a conscious or unconscious decision to be anti social with a group they belong to because they don't feel the accepted norms or stigmatism traits belong to them. Examples are the smart football/sports player or what used to be called a tomboy. There are a lot of very smart sports players and very female tomboys, however they feel more comfortable in a group of CEOs or hang with the guys respectfully.

    Point being; belonging takes participation if you never identified, or did any of the things a particular group is associated with or disagree with those things applying to you, then you most likely will never feel part of that group.

    That's a point a lot of people have been trying to make about this pandemic and the lockdown anti social part of it. People in general aren't participating and their idea of what it means to be black, white, green, yellow, male, or female, or any group is what they read or are told.

    The surprise is very few people truly fit even the majority of the stigmas attributed to any particular group.

    However science is science and facts are facts. Humans are humans, dogs are dogs, cats are cats, and with few exceptions the males and females of each breed are males and females. Whether you feel like or identify with that group or category is a different thing.

    You are you, you are different from anybody else, you should be you. Who ever that is.

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  • ThatGayBitch
    2 years ago

    Gender is fake, so it's normal i guess, to feel disconnected to it in some way. Don't stress too much about it and take your time to figure out what this means for u :>

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  • Sanara
    2 years ago

    I feel the same way, and even more because of "learning" about how women are on the internet, and often realizing I am nothing like that. Both the behavior, interests and life experience of the stereotype woman, for the majority dont seem to fit me

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    • Chuckinthisout
      2 years ago

      Yeah that’s fair. I’d like to draw a small distinction between our experiences in that I felt this way long before I was active on the internet. Just clarifying bc the internet (and media in general) are full of stereotypes about gender that a good number of people don’t fulfill. I’m not saying “girls are x way, and I’m not so I’m confused”, more like “they all seem to identify much more strongly with this category they fall into than I do. I wonder why”

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      • Sanara
        2 years ago

        The part about not identifying strongly (or even at all) with my gender, I felt a little bit when I was at high school and seeing the other girls there. I didn't feel like I was "part of" that. But I didn't really think much into gender before I started learning about them on the internet, that it wasn't just a solely physical trait anymore. And also when someone told me you are supposed to have a sense of belonging to your gender. But I dont think I'm trans either (don't have gender dysphoria)

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        • Chuckinthisout
          2 years ago

          Ok I think I see what you mean now. That’s more similar than I thought. i think my most “I’m not a woman” moments were looking in the mirror or talking with a group of people and feeling a pang of doubt that I was female (much before my internet exposure, and at times when I was so young i didn’t even understand the traditional way of gender differentiation). Did you experience anything like that too?

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          • Sanara
            2 years ago

            Not when I was very young. I don't remember having the scenario you describe. When I was just a child I didn't really have much thought about gender at all

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            • Chuckinthisout
              2 years ago

              Interesting. I know I always felt disconnected from my gender, but in a very active and conscious way lol

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