Youtube has given me an obsession with someone i have never met

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12 Comments

I am a 32 year old woman, not married and no kids. My life is pretty normal-I work, have some good friends, have had a few good boyfriends and I have always felt quite happy with my life.

I have developed an obsession though!
I was looking for some music stuff on YouTube about 10 months ago and by chance, I came across a female Chinese musician. At first, I thought she was a man because if her hairstyle, clothes and figure. There was something mesmerising about her.
She is not world famous but she is a bit of a celebrity in her part of the world/her style of music.

Since then,I have not been ablt to get her out of my mind.
I have made on-line friends through YouTube so that I can find out about her.
I found out that she is a lesbian! I was not surprised really, she has a man's role in her music.
I am obsessed with her. I think about her all day long, I look at YouTube clips of her a lot and cry when I watch her because she is so far away and I know I will never meet her. I have sexual thoughts about her. My feelings for her are so strong, even though I have never fancied women before.
I carry pictures of her around in my purse sometimes. She always looks so perfect. I know she has had some problems and that makes me love her more because she means so much for me.

I have never thought of women sexually before so why am I now with this stranger?!
I don't know where these strong feelings are coming from and why.
Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.
Thinking about her cheers me up as well as makes me sad because I don't know why I have such strong feelings for her. I love her but I feel the pain of not knowing her in real life.
Help.
Thanks

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 64 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • alexisfreak
    14 years ago

    You are lesbian.

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  • superaspie
    11 years ago

    Stalker!

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  • Notbyhisownname
    13 years ago

    Perfectly normal, it's called love... grab your purse, buy a plain ticket to china and work it out ;)

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  • elasticband
    13 years ago

    You have a bit of an obsession, and it's facilitated by the internet and how it easily gives you the illusion of intimacy, as you can see her face, body, music, without ever knowing her.

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  • BatZion
    14 years ago

    your a lesbian (or maybe bi) and you just LOVE this person because shes your first lesbian hearthrob.

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  • TheMiilkman
    14 years ago

    well i watched youtube vids of a girl called boxy and im a 17 yr old male and im not obsessed with her but i just relly want to meet her and dam right i have sexual thoughts about her...shes so hot and funny and not to much older than me and i get hard thinking about her..i wish i could touch her or she could touch me ...im 17 and i really want a handjob from any girl!

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    • Chayce
      12 years ago

      Hahhahahaha Boxxy..... That made my day

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  • Clayman88
    14 years ago

    That was a reply to topic creator not wetbrownstain. I hit reply rather than comment by accident.

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  • WetBrownStain
    14 years ago

    Bahahahaahahah! Wooooooh!

    Actually, don't worry. I have an obsession with this IIN poster that posted about having an obession with someone from youtube.

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    • Clayman88
      14 years ago

      You find her attractive cuz she looks like a man. There are a few shemales I have seen over the years that I said to myself. "Hmm. Ah fuck it, I'd hit that."

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  • Lockets
    14 years ago

    I doubt you are a lesbian because you don't have any feelings for women in real life but you have developed an obsession. Many people have many varied obsessions and the emotional reasons are very complex.
    I don't know enough about psychology etc to expalin what is happening here.

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  • simpleplanftw
    14 years ago

    perhaps you didnt realise you are a lesbian till now.

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