Your opinion on a man and woman's place in the relationship?

You should make sure you separate the "I want" from the "others should". It's not wrong to want a relationship with that division of labour. I understand having an attachment to traditional ways of doing things. I'm attached to tradition too - maybe not exactly like you, but I totally feel the appeal.

I do think it's very short-sighted to tell other people that what they want is wrong, though. You can say you don't judge other people, but if you're thinking that what other people are doing is wrong then judging is what you're doing. It's not a bad thing to be judgmental (after all, you can't have moral values unless you are prepared to judge people who violate them), but if you're judging people who aren't hurting anyone that's a sign that you're being far too rigid. You can be proud of what you want as an individual - you don't need other people to validate your lifestyle by replicating it.

It's all rooted in having an appropriate level of respect for the diversity of valuable opinions and lifestyles. I know that's probably obvious to you and it might sound condescending, and that isn't how it's meant.

The man and women's place in a relationship is what is mutually agreed upon. If both partners are ok with the situation then whatever works for them is fine, but if one is not satisfied then things need to be changed or stop the relationship.

Personally I hate people doing things for me (mostly because I like to do everything myself because only I can do it how I like) so I would hate an old fashioned relationship and would only put up with someone who was independent and other than hanging out we didn't expect anything from each other, but people seem to like different things, so it is a completely situational decision.

I do like someone to cook for me though because I like being gluttonous but fuck up my meals when I do it myself and cannot afford to burn down the house unfortunately.

I got excited about the can of worms. That's what happens when you're a bird...

Sooo you're like totally young and stuff and you may just change the way you choose to live. If this is really what you want then ok fine but its definitely not for everyone so don't try pushing your belief, you silly naive girl.

I'm curious though, is this the type of household you were raised in or has this guy had any influence in this decision of yours? You did move in together pretty quickly dontcha think? Does he miss his mummy doing things for him so he plucked up a fresh high school graduate to do his chores for him? I think you're going a bit overboard with getting his clothes ready and running his bath water...ummm are you too eager to please or what?!

You just described a man who doesn't know how to take care of himself. You are doing him a disservice. What if you fall ill?

And to say you have no problem with people who choose other lifestyles, but then to call it wrong...I am very confused by people who say things like this. It's makes no sense.

Alright well, you're gonna think I am an ass for it but I think you're lazy. I think you're lazy and you're getting a free deal. I can respect that you believe that it is a woman's place to be at home but all of the duties you described would, altogether, take me less than 2 hours. Compare that to the 8-10 hours I do at work every night and the 5-6 hours of school during the weekdays and that adds up to damned near nothing.

Your course of action is not wise, kid. You are 19 and think you have it all figured out and that's fine, but what if he leaves you? What if he falls ill and can't work? You didn't mention having anything past a possible High School diploma and waiting so long to start trying to get or qualify for a halfway decent job is not helping either of you, especially when I can be away from the home 60-70 hours a week and still, fairly easily, pull all of what you do off.

And no, it is not a woman's place to be in the home. It may be the place for some women or some men but your private bits do not and need not determine the entirety of your fate. I work in male dominated fields and work in the manual labor field doing jobs that some men don't have the strength or skill to accomplish and never has my vagina gotten in the way of that. But my boobs do. Especially when trying to fit into small spaces.

More power to you and all, but I think you're shooting yourself in the foot and doing so waaaay too young in the game.

I take it you have no interest in pursuing higher education.

As a man I couldn't take advantage of my girlfriend like that. All I have to do is go to work and share my income and she becomes my
cook
dishwasher
hooker
accountant
personal shopper
butler
janitor
launder
gardener

Talk about easy-street for me! I had to be all those things for myself when I was single.

My problem with that is I love and respect her so I wouldn't want to turn her into my personal man-servant.

It seems like everything you described my mom and dad have been able to do both having a career. I grew up with home cooked meals, two involved parents, always a clean house, huge backyard, lots of family gatherings, nice things, good education, vacations twice a year, father daughter days. They've been together for 36 years. My dad didn't have to work alll the time so I got to spend time with him, and my mom didn't have to either so i got to be with both of them.

The way I grew up I feel like is the way I would want my children to grow up, having both parents equally involved in their lives. I also would want to be a role model for my kids and instill value in education and independence, one day they might need that to surivive.

I honestly don't see anything wrong with this; I actually want the same thing for myself. Anyone who tells you that your lifestyle is not concordant with progressive notions of "feminism" is absolutely full of shit. Real feminism is about the CHOICES, and the right to CHOOSE whatever lifestyle you want for yourself. If this lifestyle happens to coincide with traditional gender roles, then so be it.

I think people can choose the lifestyle they want but that doesn't mean I think the choices are respectable.

I think the whole "housewife" deal is just...Bleh. With modern technology the "housewife" or "Househusband" has very little work to do when the time is all added up. For example, the things you listed are your "duties" I'd be able to do in two hours (if that), and saying "I think it is a man's place to work while I do the house duties" is pretty much "I think I should be provided for while I do very little work".

But ofcourse you're going to want this to be your place because it's such an easy way to get through life, to be provided for while you do little work in comparison to the person providing for you.

The reason why these gender roles took place was because it was harder without the technology to do them and women couldn't work the same as men in the world where manual labour was needed a lot. There is no real rational reason for these duties other than if you were also caring for a child, and if not, then in my opinion, the person with those "duties" get a free pass in life and are livin a very lazy lifestyle.

I'll get hate for this, but it's just how it is. The work today for the household takes little time with the advancement of technology that having your role be those duties is just amazingly easy.

For us it's a partnership. We share many of the chores around the boat, such as cooking, dish washing and cleaning. However when it comes to "boat stuff" my wife is the student, and I the teacher. She operates the machinery, changes the oil on both motors and does minor and even major repairs under my guidance. The same is true on deck, with her doing the stainless polishing, waxing and varnishing, and me doing the rope work (splicing, serving and whipping), sail sewing and winch rebuilds. However, when we sail, we are a true partnership, though of course, there can only be one captain, and that role, at the moment anyway, falls to me because of my experience.

What? You are 19 and trying to act like your 30! Live a little and then question gender roles.

I get tired of young people wanting to prove they are "responsible" and "grown up" just because they are playing house. You do not have a clue You should not pretend too, you look like a child in her mother's shoes.

And your boyfriend is way too old for you. He is in a different era of his life. 6 years might not make a lot of difference when you are 50, but in your teens and twenties it makes a huge difference.

Just two equal peeps I suppose.

I would really like to be a housewife - take care of the children, cook and wash. That's my dream job but unfortunately we cannot afford it.

I wouldn't want no stay at home wife. Better get out there in the world and get us another paycheck.