You see, i have this problem with this awfully arrogant guy...

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I've known this guy from a party, at first I talked to him because a friend of us presented both because we had in common a lot and I needed a doubt to be answered ( he studied psychology and continued his academic achievments towards medicine) I found him disgustingly arrogant, yet as we needed to encounter out of a material we needed to share I added him on a social network,I saw a couple of things he wrote and felt like he wasnt so much of a jerk that he was interesting after all...I started crushing on him, he asked me out but we never go together because I felt he disrespected me and didn't show any sign of mercy or repent out of it, the another day he talked to me again and I rejected to get face to face with him...yet he had this...odd nice gesture...toward me even though he says I exasperate him, even thought he disrespected me in a terrible way, even though all of that stuff and his terrible and dry, rude demeanor I find myself tangled again in this mess...I hate it, it's the only person I actually cannot predict in any way that fascinate me and at the same time makes a narcisistic wound in me...Is it normal? I wish he respected me because I appreciate him intelectually speaking I dont want his desire I want his respect, I cannot get it and it frustrate me...Im usually laid back, relaxed, and distracted I feel like I've become obsessed and it only happened with him...I know where he lives, what he writes, what literature he reads...everything about him is easy to remember and I've never "stalked" someone this way. Is it normal? Never happened to me. I find it sickly and pathological. Any advice or explanation?

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Comments ( 8 )
  • Waterfairy
    8 years ago

    The first thing I want from my lover is respect, the same respect I have for him. So, if you feel like he doesn't respect you don't take this relationship any further. It'll never work out the way you want it to.

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  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    Sounds like you're falling for the basic tricks/traps that pick-up-artist (PUA) culture talks about. You should read a bit about that stuff, "game" etc. If you're aware of what it is and why it works, then you won't have to unknowingly fall 'victim' to it (unless you want to).

    Now, the guy is a narcissistic jerk who disrespects you. That's exactly why he's gotten under your skin and why you're crushing on him.
    I don't know whether or not he's intentionally 'targetting' you, but imo, you need to become more aware of why his behaviour is making you attracted to him.

    That way, you can analyse and understand your subconscious reactions a lot better.
    If you realise that you may essentially be biologically pre-programmed to feel a gut-level attraction towards certain behaviour, you can choose to ignore that instinctual attraction if it is not based on the right things.

    Tl;dr Try and understand what's subconsciously attracting you to this person, so you can make a more informed conscious decision about how you choose to feel.

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    • catshapped
      8 years ago

      I know those stuff, they usually talk that way about women. Im a men...

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      • victorygin
        8 years ago

        Oh, I'm sorry. That was presumptuous of me; I assumed you were female.
        But, I think a lot of that stuff can apply to men's attraction to other men as well as women's.

        Anyway, that probably wasn't very helpful. But just to add this: if someone doesn't show you respect, or is condescending, or undermines or belittles you, or anything like that - it usually makes you crave their respect.
        So, I'm not really sure what the situation is. But maybe you should treat him the same way he treats you. Or just try and take no notice.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    8 years ago

    Walls of text prevents you from going forward.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Yep, I couldn't be bothered even trying to read that

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      • Terence_the_viking
        8 years ago

        Cool beans.

        I like texts that are easier on the eyes.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Instead of writing the world's longest run on sentences, why not fuck some tight sweet innocent young GypsySailor asshole instead?

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