Would you rather be with someone you love or who loves you?

23 Comments

Of course it would be great for it to be mutual but most of the time it doesn't happen that way. One always loves more than the other. I've experienced both. My last bf loved me but I didn't love him back. And now, I love my current bf who I don't think feels the same way about me. Karma ? Maybe. But the difference is my bf now hasn't left me unlike me with my ex. My bf does show me a little that he appreciates me more than I showed my ex. But its very rare that he shows me and because its rare, its special and I cherish those moments. Its not all the time I feel loved by him. But two reasons I think it is is cause 1-he's the aloof type and 2-he's getting his life together. He is a few yrs older than me so he does feel like he needs to pursue his life already cause time is running out especially for a man. Men are always interested in their goals first and that's one of the things that attracted me to him so I don't wanna distract him and ask him to give me all his attention. That'll just turn me off. But its hard loving someone you're unsure about how they feel for you. And its unsatisfying to be with someone who loves you cause you don't feel that love for them back. Sometimes I feel like my ex is better for me but just cause he loves me? I feel like I'm just using him for my own security. I wanna love too and I love my bf right now which is enough to keep me going but as I said, its hard when you're not sure how they feel about you considering his aloof flaws and where he is in life right now or he really doesn't like me. At the same time, I'm kind of hoping that third times a charm and maybe if we don't work out, my next relationship will have both; hell love me like my ex loved me and I'll naturally love him like I love my bf right now.

Someone I love	13
Someone who loves me	30

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Comments ( 23 )

KeddersPrincess

9 years ago

Well, I'm sure my life size mannequins I stole from the mall love me as much as I do them, but I guess I'll go with someone I love.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yeah my bf right now is my first love. I love my ex for being a good bf and a friend but I'm not like passionate for him like I am for my bf.
  
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Spankz

9 years ago

I would want neither, I am quite happy in my little bubble of mutual love and I wouldn't want it any other way. I've had relationships where the guy has loved me and I didn't return the feelings and it made me feel like absolute shit. I have also been in love with someone without them returning the feelings and it still feels like absolute shit.

I would never put myself or another person through anything like that ever again. If I am in a relationship it is because the love is mutual and we care for each other equally.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yup I'm hoping my third relationship (if this one doesn't work out) is the combination of both of my last relationships; hell love me like my ex and I'll naturally love him like I love my bf right now
  
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

Neither!

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- sillygirl77
  
  9 years ago
  
  Agree. I'd want to be with someone where there's mutual love!
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Yes of course but that's why I didn't put it as an option cause everyone's gonna go for that one and unfortunately, mutual love doesn't always happen.
    
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    - sillygirl77
      
      9 years ago
      
      I am lucky I guess. I have mutual love.
      
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dom180

9 years ago

I belief is the opposite to yours - it's usually *not* possible to quantify who has the "most" "love". It doesn't work like that. You can quantify signs of affection certainly, and that's very important, but it's not precisely the same thing.

The only worthwhile relationships are ones where there's a lot of mutual love; love isn't made out of pushes and pulls. If I was in a relationship that didn't have a lot of mutual love, or signs of affection, I would probably leave it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  What makes me keep going with my relationship right now is that I love him. It keeps me going and going. But I wish he loved me back the same but it doesn't seem right now. His obstacles are in the way of him expressing himself so it might take a while for him to finally realize he loves me but it could also just mean he doesn't care and I'll eventually move on and hopefully my third relationship is the combination of my last two relationships. My bf treating like my ex did except i actually love him...wow. That would the best
  
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hauntedbysandwiches

9 years ago

Someone who loves me. Been in a relationship where the person didn't love me and it hurt like hell all the time because he didn't support me or care about me. At least I am now in a relationship where the person loves me and it feels so good because they care about me.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'm thankful for my first relationship ever was with someone who loved me. He was a good bf but no matter what he did for me I felt empty inside cause I didn't love him back. Now that I actually do love someone, it gives me this rush like I'll fight for it until that rush runs out. Its finally gave me real feelings and a sense of vulnerability . I love the feeling of loving someone. Now all I need is to be loved back by someone I love.
  
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- KeddersPrincess
  
  9 years ago
  
  Feels so good
  Lovin somebody
  When somebody loves you back
  And that's a fact
  
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Crusades|

9 years ago

People who don't love will never be emotionally fulfilled in a relationship. What's the point of staying with someone you don't give two shits about? Torturing yourself only to get an ego boost once in a while is not worth the trouble.

It happened to me when I was with this girl I had no feelings for. The only motivation I had when I met her was the sex. Because after sex I had to subject myself to long, tedious, boring cuddling sessions and conversation about love and future plans. Not my cup of tea!
So, even though I was the one who ended it, I think she was the one who got more out of the whole predicament. Because she got both sexual and emotional needs satisfied, while I only got the pussy.

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Steve753

7 years ago

Both need to want to be together. It helps if your partner desires you and fights for you a little bit more.

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LAR23

9 years ago

I'm always the one who is loved and I never love back. I'd like to experience it the other way around for once

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I think the best feeling in the world is to be loved back by someone you love. I wish my bf right now will eventually learn to appreciate me and love me
  
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chained_rage

9 years ago

I prefer to be the one who is loved. I'm needy like that.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I think the best feeling is to be loved by someone you love. I've been loved and appreciated by someone before and it was unfulfilling cause I didn't return it to him
  
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Blue_Velvet

9 years ago

Being with someone i love. It is more satisfying. I tried once to be with some guy i didn't love cause i needed someone in my life but i felt it was a waste of time cause i never fell in love with him. I won't do that again.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  That's exactly like me. I didn't know what it felt like loving someone, that vulnerability didn't exist in my last relationship. It was a great relationship in terms of bf and Gf etiquette but what's a relationship without real passionate love? Theres a difference between appreciating someone who treats you right and loving someone who makes you feel vulnerable and real. The thing is its sad when the feeling isn't reciprocated so I'm sure it feels great to be loved back by someone you love . if my bf grows to love and appreciate me that'll be the day
  
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

I've heard people say that it's better to be the one who loves less because then you're in control of the relationship. But I don't like the idea of relationships being about who has more control than the other, especially emotionally. Yes it's hard to really let go and love a person as much as you want to, not knowing if they'll take advantage of that or hurt you. But I think that once you decide you care about them, you should jump in with both feet, or not at all.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yeah I think its cause you'll be the one who doesn't get hurt . Thats who I was in my last relationship but in my current one, im the one who's getting hurt the most.
  
  That's exactly what I've done. I do love him so it was just natural for me to jump in with both feet and take that risk but that doesn't mean it doesnt hurt.
  
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Would you rather be with someone you love or who loves you?