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Would you leave a girl if after the third date you put your hand on her leg and she didn’t respond... you’d kissed on all 3 dates... bearing in mind she’s shy etc.
Would you forget her?
| I’d try more | 47 | |
| I’d leave her | 13 |
I thought this was going to be something like she didn't wipe her ass or she didn't throw out used tampons.
Need more info.
What did expect the response to be?
Open her legs and beg for sex?
Put her hand on yours?
Kiss You?
Slap You?
Immediately go down on you?
He put his hand on my leg... and my anxiety and lack of experience I never did anything... I should’ve put my hand on his hand and now I feel like he’s gone because of it...
If you felt anxious, then doing nothing was the right response. At least he didn't try to push it and make you feel really bad.
Inexperience with anything is a curable problem. I suspect you need to find a guy who makes you feel more comfortable from the start, and is willing to be patient.
It would also be a good idea if you took what courage you have in both hands and open up a little to guys about your uncertainty and apprehension. Women have an unfortunate tendency to think that guys can read subtle body language signs and verbal clues as well as women do.
Generally speaking, we're pretty crap at that stuff, so expecting guys to be mindreaders is setting yourself up for disappointment.
As for this guy in particular, maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't. If he doesn't, that's not really your fault. You are who you are. Sometimes relationships go smoothly from the start because people magically mesh, but more often they don't.
Whatever happens with him, consider the event a learning experience and a step towards fixing your inexperience. The next time it happens, you'll have a better idea of how you want to respond. Fretting about getting things wrong is rarely positive; altering your behaviour so you don't make the same mistakes again is the best we can do.
Thank you. I’m not reallt fretting cause he’s gone... I just don’t want another to go because of that if that’s why he’s gone... I just wanted to know if it could be why he’s gone? To me I think it’s silly... if he’d tried a few times to be close and touch and I hadn’t responded sure thing.
I just feel embarrassed I didn’t respond.
P.s when do guys ever come back?
Don't put your life on hold waiting for him.
Anyone who can't remember ever being embarrassed by something they've done is either a psychopath or has never done anything. Life is all about trial and error, that's how we learn and grow.
I’m not putting my life on hold.. I was simply wondering if it was possible he left for that reason? But he was fine after that... and he must have liked me to even put his hand on my leg. I feel like a fool. Now he ghosted me and said he’s picked the wrong time to date.
Has he been gone since then? I wouldn't assume anything and if he does disappear he wasn't worth it to begin with. Of course he could be gone for a diff reason so talk to him.
You are totally fine.
Nope. Keep trying. Put hands on her shoulders. Look into her eyes. Make a joke etc
Yeah, well just don't fall into the trap of thinking that her lack of response means approval. It's possible she didn't like your hand on her leg, but she didn't want to say something in case she upset you... or something. It's entirely possible she doesn't know what the hell she wants, or she's conflicted about what she wants. Taking the lack of, "No!" as a, "Yes, please," is a good way to end up in a pile of shit these days.
Maybe you could try talking to her and telling her that you're getting confusing messages, and you'd like some help understanding what's going on in her head?
Guys are not going to waste time if the potential lover seems like a "dead fish" type.
Some girls need a bit more... But if we were dating for like a few weeks and we made out and she consistently did nothing other than kiss me, I'd give her the boot. You gotta take the next step eventually... If you don't, someone else will.
This clearly doesn't sound like a boy friend - girl friend relationship so you're good to pursue other women. I wouldn't leave her, but I definitely wouldn't only be taking her out for dates.
Well she is shy so it will take a little time. Until she feels more confortable around you. You can't force love than it won't be real. If she is taken too long then tell her how you feel. Ask her something like why is she holding back.
You aren't obligated to sleep with anyone, ever. Dating or not. You should never feel the need to sleep with someone to "keep" them. They can get sex from anyone.
If they want to move on because they won't wait for you to be comfortable, then let them move on. You can do better and find someone who is more respectful.
You sound young and inexperienced. That's completely fine and you don't need to do things that you aren't comfortable with in order to keep someone around. Someone who won't wait for you isn't worth losing any sleep over.
Please also bear in mind that this guy may really like you but might not have known how nervous you are, and may have simply interpretated this as you not being interested in him, so he's backed off.
Misunderstandings like this are a huge part of adult dating, welcome to the lion's den OP 😁