Would you join?

Would you join this cult?
This cult in non-religious, it is focused on this world not the next, members are free to keep their own religion.
Anyone may leave the cult at anytime without injury.
There are 2 types of members, regular and devout.

regular members are required to attend weekly seminars that focus on mental health and attaining one's dreams.
regular members are required to donate 10 hours a month to the cult, usually in the form of community service.
regular members must donate 1% of their income to the cult.
regular members will be given support and help from the cult as needed in the form of counseling, job searching, education information, and child care(if available).
regular members shall have 24/7 access to a meeting place where they may meditate, meet with other members, and have weekly pot luck dinners.

Devout members shall be given cult owned housing to live in.
Devout members shall attend 3 meetings a week
Devout members who do not have a job shall give 30 hours a month to the cult, those with a job shall give 10.
Devout members shall donate 25% of their income to the cult.
Devout members shall not marry or date non members
Devout members who leave the cult will not be permitted to associate with any member.
Devout members are guaranteed child care, counseling, food and housing, access to a cult paid doctor, a job if they wish, 24/7 access to a meeting place, legal aid, cult sponsored college scholarships, access to a private gym, access to a private hunting woods, invitations to all cult events, transportation, yearly retreats, and a cult matchmaking service.

I'd join as a regular member 6
I'd join as a devout member 4
no 26
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Comments ( 14 )
  • McBean

    This is an invitation to ensnare weak minds that need constant validation. You have not been told about super-devout level of neurotic servitude that will robot-ify your mind.

    Get the fuck away from that place. Evil lurks. Evil that will make you paranoid of the rest of the world.

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    • factcheck

      Indeed. This is how organized religion, aka the root of all evil, formed.

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      • McBean

        Indeed. A coercive model that has survived for centuries.

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  • xfg42

    I already have my own cult, but the members keep dying.

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  • Cedric_Diggory

    Can I join the cult where I don't have to read all of that?

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  • charli.m

    Nope.

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    • rltg4711

      Of course you would not join because you are an Aussie and we, hopefully know better.

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      • charli.m

        Not according to the testicle salad guy, and he sounds like a genius.

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      • novonome

        he isn't an Aussie, he just pretends to be while using that account name.

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  • CDmale4fem

    Tom, Tom Cruise is that you in there ? That scientology stuff is some freaky weird shit. I'm not saying this is what your talking about. I just wonder why people feel a need to join something that is pretty much unknown to them. Those cults all kinda come down to some nut job thinking he is the next "one" to lead the people to what or whereever their new "promised land" is sposed to be. If anyone remembers that bunch yrs ago that were waiting for that comet to swoop them away, body and soul, I think. They drank the forbidden potion, they all ended up dead. It's not worth it IMO.

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  • CorruptedSoul

    Cults and groups are for the weak

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  • Keepsake

    It sounds like too much work.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Fuck no!

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  • Faceless

    Can i wear a sombrero and shake maracas at the non believers?

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