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I wanted to know if you would forgive and forget even if that person has done the worst things to you.
I don't want the views of someone religious. I want the views of people who aren't religious and I want the views of atheist. And please explain your answer.
| Forgive and Forget | 4 | |
| Forgive but don't forget | 31 | |
| Forget but don't forgive | 3 | |
| Neither. Fuck that person. | 28 |
Revenge is natures justice, forgive and forget minor things, forgive but dont forget moderate things, beat the offender to death for major things.......
Honestly I dont know if I could ever forgive the men who did the worst things to me... I dont necessarily want to kill them anymore, but to forgive them seems to me like its condoning what they did, and that wasnt okay.
For most anything else I could forgive. But abusers and assailants deserve not forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not about condoning the act.
Forgiveness is about respecting that the people who hurt you are also people with feelings.
Forgiveness is about understanding that everyone does something for a reason, no one is born evil, and something beyond their control made those men who they were when they did that to you.
Forgiveness is about accepting that the act happened, and moving on without hatred.
She doesn't have to except that it happened she knows it happened and forgiving them IS condoning what they did. They don't deserve respect if they did something terrible to her. To get respect is to give it from both sides and them hurting her is not respecting her and you can move along with hatred. It's not really hurting you if you can move on. As long as you don't want revenge.
Forgive- Stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake
No where in there does it say that they condon what they did, you just choose to no longer be angry over it because it isn't worth your time and energy. A girl who used to be my bestfriend stabbed me in the back and tortured me for years and she apolagized to me a little while ago for it, I think she wanted me to be her friend again. No. I don't trust her, 'fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me' and I'm not a fool. But I did forgive her, and now a feel nothing towards her other than the maybe pity because she has a very twisted life. Hate is an ugly thing.
Fuck that person. There's no god and no hell and no solace in forgiving somebody because some stupid book says to do so.
Your missing the third way of getting over something: ignore on facebook.
It really depends on the situation. If my wife slept with someone else I could probably forgive her. If she killed my child I probably couldn't. It really depends.
I have problems with forgiveness. I can understand why you don't care for the religious take on it even though I'm a practicing Catholic. I always just want to see justice done and have spent a lot of time fantasizing about sweet revenge. But now I might have an ulcer and I do have Fibromyalgia symptoms. When I get angry and obsessive the type of adrenaline rush is not good like a roller coaster but painful and sometimes it makes me dizzy; there's tension in my muscles and head. I really believe the stress of feeling these awful emotions has taken a toll on my body and shot my nerves.
I've been told before that holding a grudge/unforgiveness is like taking poison and expecting my enemy to die. All that hate is like a cancer. I've always been told that when I have this hateful, obsessive unforgiveness in my heart and mind its like that person is occupying rent free space in my head. So for myself, I kinda like to get peace with myself about something to evict that person's power from my mind.
Also I do wanna say if I feel I can or have forgiven someone I never go back to that person to tell them I've forgiven them in that warm fuzzy tv talk show kinda way where the people hug and all that. I figure I don't owe them a damn thing and if I have in fact forgiven them it's between me and God. Maybe by some people's warm and fuzzy standards that's not forgiveness but it's the best I can do. If a person has really hurt or betrayed me I break all ties and cut them out of my life.
I am religious and I believe forgive but don't forget. It isn't possible to forget something someone did to you (unless you have an illness), I think the whole forgive and forget is stupid, you can't forget and you shouldn't, you learn from those situations and if you just pretend like it never happened the whole purpose of going through that hard time is waisted, if that makes any sense. But I do believe in forgiveness, and forgiveness isn't condoning what they did to you (like shade_ilmaendu said) it's to stop feeling angry, and it's more about just letting it go and moving on. You're only hurting yourself to stay angry, resentful and vengeful toward them, it will consume you and destroy you.
It really depends on what happened. But whatever "the worst thing" is, if they did it, then you need to ask yourself if the relationship you have with them is worth forgiving
Well I believe in God but I'm going to answer anyways. I would not and have not and will never forgive the person who did the worst possible thing to me.
I'll forgive a lot, but not everything.
I forgive nearly everything but I don't think I'd forget... I think revenge is useless as it wouldn't help me!
I don't think forgiving is about forgetting at all. Only way you can really forget something, is for the memory to have no references or relations left (in the physical memory in your brain). This can happen through many ways, like brain injury for example, but a desire to forget is not one of them.
I think forgiving is more about moving on. I think it means that you won't talk about it, you won't revenge, and you will try to not let the matter affect your future decisions.
PS: I'm a religious person, so I won't vote on the poll. I also didn't give my answer to the question in the title.