Would you forgive a parent/s for making you who you are ?

Well your parents are the start on making you who you are, but you are who you are; really.

You can change yourself through time. You don't have to be like your parents if you don't want to be. You are your own person, you shouldn't have to blame your parents unless they did something awful to you.

Yes I got my genetic disorder from my father but I don't blame him for anything. He didn't even know he had one until I was born actually but I'm happy to be me. :)

I would forgive my mom if she would put forth the effort to build a better relationship with me along with accepting responsibility for her actions. Even to this day as a grown adult man I still suffer from self-esteem/self-confidence problems as a result of her verbal, physical and psychological abuse that I endured as a child. Not only that, it's also likely her fault that I have ADD and OCD (Which are disorders attributed to a growing child's exposure to Hostile Environments).

As of right now my relationship with her is on thin ice. I'm actually typing up a Notice of Separation to possibly give to my mom later on to disown her. Even if I gave her that letter, it doesn't mean that it has to be permanent. I'm a reasonable person and I'm willing to give my mom a chance.

She has to put forth some effort on her part to make it work otherwise she's just proving to me, herself and others that she doesn't care enough about our relationship.

Parents should be viewed as examples, not idols, or some, perfect being of all might knowledge. They are human and make mistakes. If you notice 'problems' about certain characteristics that you have, or notice something you dont like about yourself, you shouldnt just sit and blame. The second you realize something isnt right, you should act upon that. It is ultimately up to you.

I nearly find it funny how i lived with my father in 15 years still i dont know much about him the odd is he doesnt care much about his own kids or wife(now ex-wife) but he seems to care greatly for the other parts of the family and sometimes even total stangers then again im happy he didnt raise me my mother is so much better at it...

Hiya,

Yes. They took me to all sorts of strange places – castles, shrines. I hated it, but now I love them. I went through tons of phases with the music I like, only to find that what I found on my own just sat on my shelves because the music I grew up hearing was my favourite after all.

i am angry at my mm for making me overweight , shes obese and made me huge portions since i was young , which means i eat alot of food ! and i cannot eat less other wise i get really tired , the only reason my sister isnt the same way is ecause she was sick for a long time and didnt eat AT ALL so she doesnt have the same appitite

Nothing to forgive them for since they created an awesome human being (ie YOURS TRULY) and in fact hardly a days goes by when my parents are not thanked for bringing me into existence.

I think people turn out " because of, or in spite of their parents/up bringing."
It's always a healthy thing to forgive people. It's part of a recovery process when you have been hurt or wronged by someone. Forgiveness is one of the first steps of letting go of the pain inside.

Pay them back for all the things they've done for you and the chances they've forgone and then take it out on them for the things they screwed up.

Glad everyones so strong in the face of abuse. I have a lot of self esteem and worth and confidence issues I guess I'm just not that strong..meh

The way you are raised always has an effect on how you are now. My parents were abusive, physically, sexually and psychologically. I've learned to forgive them for being problemed people...

I have struggled quite a bit with mental instability...

But ultimately, we can chose our actions. Learning that changed my life. My parents are no longer responsible for who I am and what I do, I am.
If anything, I THANK my parents. One thing that they gave me, through their strict punishments and their abusive behavior (which they have recently admitted to) is character. A sense that I don't need accolades to do what I need to do and a sense that in the end, only I can watch out for me. I know that things can always be worse and I count my blessings. Work comes instintively to me and I don't allow myself to excuse my behavior when I have a choice. Many people in my generation have seem to have forgotten that... you have a choice.

I had to move out to figure that out, and I suggest that if you are my age (around 20) and you're still not moved out, you should seriously consider it. After all, you can't look back and figure out a situation in hindsight if it's not even behind you yet.

There are a few people in my family that, even after 20-30 years still blame their parents for how they act NOW. There's no excuse for a grown adult who has been out from their parents authority for that long to continue blaming their parents for their shitty choices.

I guess if I never got Halo Combat Evolved, then a mega chain reaction of events would've never happened, and I'm not even sure if I would be nearly the same person because of how things stemmed off from it. Other than that I can't think of things they've done to directly change me as a person, I don't look up or down to them, nor do I look for guidance, help, support, or anything of that sort from them.

Mighty* Fucking phone.

Good example of me blaming my phone for this stupid spelling error, and not blaming myself for not paying attention.

To an extent, they're responsible for who I am today. I don't hate my mother, although I have a hatred aimed at her. She's responsible for me not being able to be attached to people, not to take my education seriously. She isn't fully to blame, more than half of it is probably my fault, but alot of it started because of her. I doubt she realizes that I am who I am, I doubt that she'll never understand part of it is because of what she made my life style like.

She has unintentionally made it so that I can't get a job due to lack of qualifications due to moving so much that paying attention to school work was hard due to having to change schools so much, and also moving before I could finnish my exams. I'm stuck with her until I go to college after I move in less than two weeks, yet again, get qualifications, get a job, get a place of my own, and finally move on.

You only start to be your true self once you move out of your family home. Then you find which personality mantle sits well with you.

I understand what you are saying and I try not to tell people about my past as it makes me sound bitter. However, on a normal day I neither think nor talk about my rotten mother.

Anyhow, 'That which doesn't kill us can only make us stronger' and as I've said before, other abusive people are all amateurs compared to her so I find them easy to ignore or laugh at. She has made me fiercely independent coz I knew I had no-one had my back.

I can't forgive her though coz she's still a bitch. I might forgive her when she's dead.

Most likely, but for that to happen I need to be on my own.