Would you date someone with self harm scars?
Would self harm scars impact your attraction to someone?
Voting Results
72% Normal
Based on 130 votes
(94 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[
Report Post
]
Comments ( 50
)
-
UhhhOK
-
VioletTrees
It would be pretty hypocritical for me not to. Also, I'd be pretty upset if somebody turned me down because of my scars.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
anti-hero
I have done it before. She had an extreme amount and I didn't like it due to the fact that she hurt herself and I didn't want her doing that. But the actual look of the scars didn't bother me. If that makes any sense at all.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
Avant-Garde
Yes. I wouldn't mind at all, but I'd do my best to be as supportive as possible. Also, It would be hypocritical of me if I said "no". Though the "trauma" on my mouth has healed, the memories of it still exist.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
Bonnabell
Awwww I had freinds like this they freaked out when I notice I try to get them to stop. I do not see why it would make you care ant less. Its about the person not thier habits. I also knew people with mentel illneses and still thier freinds. I do not see why anyone would be so cruel. They may have issues but they need love too and your exceptance may be the last thing keeping them on earth as many of these people become scuicidal.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
misunderstoodandlost
No way. I have scars and can say that they don't make you any less of a great person.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
00:00
-
dom180
-
dirtybirdy
-
BlueJeansWhiteShirt
I don't know to be honest. It depends on many factors. If they no longer self harm and were totally in good mental health then yes, maybe.
It isn't a good idea to get into a relationship with someone who is going through a bad mental health stage. A relationship will not help them, even if they think it will. They need to be alone to work things out for themselves.
In all honesty, the self harm thing is a bit of a turn off for me. It only seems to be a certain group or stereotype who do this thing. I know they might be feeling down but I don't think self harm is the resort.Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Scarlettfox
That's not necessarily true. I know plenty of people who you would not class as a stereotype of self harm, myself included. I'm not an "emo". My favorite band is Foals, I listen to classical too, I don't wear heaps of makeup, or wear black all the time, etc etc. I think personally that most people who self harm feel very alone, and someone to confide in, such as a partner, would be very helpful.
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
BlueJeansWhiteShirt
Fair enough.
I know a lot of people do self harm for genuine reasons because it's the only way they can find for release. But then we get these emo types who do it just because they find it cool and the done thing, which is quite offensive to those who feel they need to self harm for genuine reasons.
But then if you are in bad mental health, a relationship will make it worse. It'll be too much responsibility. You do need someone to confide in like a parent, good friend or counsellor, just like I did when I went through depression. A relationship has to be based on equal give and take and when your mental health isn't so good, you aren't able to give so much because you have to heal yourself. They are your lover, not your saviour.
I came out a four year long depression as soon as I came out a year long relationship. He couldn't handle my breakdowns. And I don't think it's a coincidence that as soon as he let me go I started to get better. Being made single was the best thing anyone ever did for me.Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Bonnabell
You think abandoning the lonely will help them? Thats why they die thats like saying "let that scuicidal child sit alone till they die they need to be alone" these people need our help and you are just going ti reject then like they have a plague? Thats pretty heartless.
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
BlueJeansWhiteShirt
You clearly did not even bother to read my reply. I did not mention anything about leaving a self harmer isolated. In fact, I said the opposite.
Plus you sound too young to even use this site...Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
XCoD420X
I agree with Bonnabell my current GF has had mental breakdowns infront of me and is still suicidal at times, im fairly confident she would have committed suicide a number of times in the last four months if she didnt have me to be there for her and help her, she was much worse before we started dating and even i can see the improvements and it helps for self-harmers to date each other, it helps to have someone to talk to and not be judged by about it, I dont think I could date anyone other than a person who self harms because I feel judged by people who dont or never have
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
Bonnabell
You just sending them off to therepy and saying I do not want to be assosiated with you is not showing you care. What if they have no freinds I think they need more then doctors. They need a person to say "ill stick by you". Shipping them away and saying get help to them is saying "your a freak I think you need to be locked up". You do not reject them like that and that is how they will take it. They need to be treated like humans not monsters! Just becuase I will not abandon this kind of person deosnt mean Im child.Also if you want my age read it.
Comment Hidden ( show )
-
-
-
-
-
Bonnabell
You think a person like that needs no one? Some of them end up killing themselves? I do get the piont about not dating one who is not stable enough to get a lover though.
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
BlueJeansWhiteShirt
Of course they need someone, like a therapist for example but certainly not a relationship. They are your lover, not your full time carer. How can a relationship work if they have broken down mentally and cannot give back? They'll only be able to take, as in taking help.
Give and take has to be equal. You cannot give when you are in bad mental health. Trust me, I've been there.Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Bonnabell
That sounds very judgementel. They are still.human thats like saying a child abused by parents should never have love. Damaged is not worthless. Many if my freinds are like this and I love them the same!
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
BlueJeansWhiteShirt
Yes, your friends, NOT your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Self harmers are NOT self harmers forever. These things can be cured. So I am NOT saying these people NEVER deserve love. Clear enough now? Or still too young to? If you cannot put up a sensible, adult debate without your raging emotions getting in the way then I suggest this is not the site for you.Comment Hidden ( show )
-
-
-
-
-
mischieflover
-
ShadowChild5916
I would not care, as they are obviously in need of someone to be there for them, but be careful, as breaking up with them could send them back to hurting themselves if they were stopping
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
ch88ky
As long as it does not matter to the person who has them can't see the problem
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
Toriboo
I think it's fine. I have my own scars. But there are actuall people out there who don't date someone who self harms. One guy I dated didn't know I hurt myself. He left me after he found out. It was wrong and it made no sense to me :/
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
If she had a knife through her skull it would be a problem in public.otherwise probably not.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
ccjigsaw
-
Legion
It depends on why she did that, and if she still does it. I would be a little cautious at first, regardless.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
watt_bro
-
ygrowup
The scars that I could see would be no problem, the others deep inside we would have to deal with to have a relationship!
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
GoraIntoDesiGals
-
NeuroNeptunian
No one has ever had a problem with mine but I don't really like having them myself. I was a completely different person then and everyone that knows me now can't imagine my being that way so it's difficult to explain to people when they ask.
Comment Hidden ( show ) -
thestocker
-
Anime7
-
KeddersPrincess
-
-
-
Scarlettfox
Yeah I think it's kind of weird. I fully understand being turned on by blood or s&m or whatever, but self harm isn't about that. It's about feeling so completely depressed that you resort to hurting yourself to find some sort of release or comfort.
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Bonnabell
You do not grasp the mindset of these kind of people. It is a thing not all understand. A sadist will thrive on humilation,pain,misery and most love seeing a body inflicted with scars. That alone would draw many sadist you know like the whole vampire to bite neck till you bleed? Also given such circumstance a sadist might cradle a person like this as the misery attracts them.
Comment Hidden ( show )-
-
-
Scarlettfox
It really depends. I'm a sadist myself, but in terms of attraction, I am more strongly drawn to physical than mental pain. I don't think being attracted to depression is right, only because I've been through that; I still am going through it, and I wouldn't wish what I've felt on anyone I know.
Comment Hidden ( show )
-
-
KeddersPrincess
Yeah; but I like physical and emotional pain as well as humiliation. I'm a litle sadistic. I won't lie.
Comment Hidden ( show )
-
-
Bonnabell
-
-
-
KeddersPrincess
-
-
ghostfreakkk
-
-
NotFloydzie
Yes, I would date someone with self-harm scars. It would not make any difference to me.
Comment Hidden ( show )