Would you date someone with autism?

44 Comments

Autism can manifest in various ways and levels of functioning but in general people with autism have difficulty with emotional and social skills which can make relationships with people difficult, even with another autistic person. To make the question less vague imagine theres someone who you would otherwise date but you know that they might forever have great trouble understanding your emotional and social needs. On the positive side however autistic people are usually much more logical than the average person. As someone with autism I feel that it has been like being an alien in a human body and I will never be able to truly understand the humans.

Im female and yes 52
Im female and maybe 38
Im female and no 39
Im female and other (comment) 5
Im male and yes 48
Im male and maybe 35
Im male and no 34
Im male and other (comment) 2
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Comments ( 44 )
  • Frosties
    12 years ago

    I don't know. Having a deep emotional connection is very important to me. If I knew there was no chance of having that, I may not consider starting on that pathway. More than happy to be good friends, though.

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    • Devyn
      12 years ago

      I have Asperger's syndrome which is a type of autism and I deffinately can have deep emotional connections; I'm just not very good at understanding what others might be thinking or might think if I do something. Therefor I may not be able to tell when it is appropriate to do something that would show my emotional attraction, and I would not be able tell when I did something that made it seem like I didn't care. But that doesn't mean that I can't have deep emotional attractions.

      In short it's not a problem of lacking deep emotional connections, just a problem of showing them.

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      • Frosties
        12 years ago

        I agree with you. I have known and worked with people who have Asperger's and I'm pretty sure I'd be willing to date a sufferer. I know it's on the autism spectrum but I was thinking of autism itself (difficult to tell which the OP meant).

        I have also worked with someone who had moderate to severe autism. We became friends of a fashion. It took a lot of concentration to relate with him and to not upset him. I almost had to speak another language. I know we had a connection (a fairly non-conventional one) but I also know that if it had have been a romantic relationship, I would have found it very difficult to have this limited connection.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I would because it would not bother me if the person I am dating has austism. What would bother me is if they allowed it to become a handicap. I would be fine with dating someone that has austism that they are trying to overcome.

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    • Corleone
      12 years ago

      Well said

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  • wigsplitz
    12 years ago

    Maybe. I'd take them on a date with me to Vegas so they can count cards and win a fortune on blackjack like Rainman did for Tom Cruise, and see where things go from there.

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  • bumblecreek
    12 years ago

    there's many types of people in this world, and everybody is different. you don't necessarily have to be autistic to lack social and emotional skills. that being said, dating someone with autism can be just like dating someone without it.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    12 years ago

    I'm going to assume that you're talking about Asperger's Syndrome here. Dating someone with full on autism... well... I have worked with people that are fully autistic and to date one (or breed with one) would be pretty sick, as they are normally mentally challenged to the point where a romantic emotional connection would just not be present.

    As far as Asperger's though, I have dated a few people that have Asperger's and I think that it is extremely over-diagnosed. I know many people that say that have Asperger's, when really it seemed to be it was just a quick and easy diagnosis fix for someone who has low-self esteem, poor social skills, not-entirely-mainstream interests and is (usually) quite introverted. I'd be careful with the diagnosis of Asperger's if I was a health care professional. You could be naming a perfectly normal person (who just has a few oddities) as mentally challenged, so to speak. I know plenty of very Spock-like logical people that don't have Asperger's. It's not entirely uncommon. We don't all have to be media-hungry, super-social drones.

    To answer your question, for people that have Aspergers to the extent that their diagnosis is not debateable, I have dated folks like that and I would not do it again. They were very idealistic in their romance, to the point where it was very childish. They often imitate what they see as acceptable from the TV or media they partake in, and have a hard time seperating that from reality. Their way of thinking, whether it is considered "logical" or not is very black and white and they have a hard time seeing grey. But that's just from what I have noticed. Some "neuro-typical" folks can appreciate that but I find it difficult to nowadays. Great to be friends with, but having a serious relationship with them is... difficult. They also get very upset very easily...

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    • shuggy-chan
      12 years ago

      I know i bit about aspergers as well, and it sorta scares me at time the similar tendencies that i share. Im social unlike them, but like what you said about being touchy and how idealistic they are about romance. i can get a lil out of hand at time, and i know it, but cant seem to stop even if im aware of it.

      also, every post i read by you is so insightful and well written, haha i feel like i wanna ask you if you could tutor me, or review my homework... well if i was in school, but im not at the moment. =/

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        12 years ago

        Thing about Aspergers, hell, anything in the DSIM, is that if you think about it enough (like Astrology) you'll find that you have a lot in common with many mental disorders. I wouldn't be scared if I were you. Usually, for people with Aspergers that have adults around them with half a brain cell or two, it is detected early and easily.

        But by idealistic, I would say, many of them put their mates on a pedestal of how they feel is the perfect mate, and they treat their mate in that manner. They have this storybook ideal of romance, because that is the ideal that they learned from their media. They tend to act out their fantasies which gets awkward. Aspergers folks seem to be trapped in their own mind so to speak. They can understand others but it's more of a factual understanding than an actual empathetic understanding. You don't have to be Aspergers to behave like this, though. It's just another check on the big list of AS.

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        • shade_ilmaendu
          12 years ago

          According to the DSM what I like to do in the bedroom is a mental disorder, hahaha.

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        • Its_Called_Love
          12 years ago

          Yeah, I dated a man with Aspergers and even after we broke up we remained friends...sort of... We talk often, but I don't usually get what he means by certain things.

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          • NeuroNeptunian
            12 years ago

            Is it his style of speech or does he speak in metaphors? Asperger's folk are known for having a tendency to speak in metaphors that only they themselves (usually) understand.

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            • Its_Called_Love
              12 years ago

              No, its not that. Its just that I "broke his heart", yet he never wants to go without talking tp me.

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    • Satchmo
      12 years ago

      Great post totally agree with all of it

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    If she gave good head.

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    Yes.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    No I wouldnt want any retards hanging around in my family tree. Retards are meant to used for normal people's amusement. Its fun to watch retards try and do normal things like bounce a basketball or even eat an ice cream cone without making a giant mess. That being said I certainly wouldnt want to be related to any. Retards only place in the world is for our entertainment and amusement. Anything beyond that is just a perversion of evolution.

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    • Satchmo
      12 years ago

      I've been on forums for over a year and not once have I had an urge to troll I really wonder what satisfaction you get from it. Enlighten me

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        An excellent question, not easily answered. Its not a question of satisfaction, its more just something to do, sure giving good advice is something I could do, but thats so...boring.

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  • GrayHulk99
    8 years ago

    yeah

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  • myweirdself16
    11 years ago

    I already have Aspergers, so I would rather not procreate with another human who also does.
    I've met too many other Aspies that think just because I myself am on the spectrum, I'll be their friend.

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  • Geldsmaggen
    11 years ago

    I have Asperger's.
    I notice a common theme is how people express that we tend to go a little overboard on the romance from what we've seen in the media. This also has to do with our tendancy to focus intensely on a narrow subject which at times can be a "romantic"(or so-called) relationship.
    I experienced that (so-called) in pre-school. I devoted myself to a girl. In retrospect it was close friendship not romance but my concept of "romance"(which I thought of as the word "love" for the most part, I had a large vocabulary as a kid but I don't know if I knew the word romance yet) came from what I saw on television. I suspect this sort of thing may happen to a lot of NTs too, just a normal sort of childhood puppylove.
    I even told her "it was over" at the end of our "relationship", I think she took that as the friendship being over. But I did it for a reason I had come to associate with romance. I was transfering to a new school for kindergarten and wouldn't be seeing her again. I didn't want her heart to be broken, so I broke up with her.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago

    I think if you love a person, you learn to work with whatever they got. So I think I would if I really felt strongly about them.

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  • anti-hero
    12 years ago

    Yes, but down syndrome girls give better head.

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  • supaflyafro
    12 years ago

    i may also be autistic

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  • RaNdOmPoPcOrN
    12 years ago

    well heres the thing i like REALLY HYPER PPL LIKE ME but it depends ya know if hes nice&sweet then mabey

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  • Sillygoose
    12 years ago

    What kind of question is this?

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  • Gelmurag
    12 years ago

    I did for 3 years online. She had Asperger's. Things we alright, I had to teach her a lot of things. Taught her about sarcasm, jokes, how to masturbate, how to keep her pubes trimmed. Took me 2 years to get any naughty camera time with her, and I had developed a pretty deep emotional bond with her. Basically we talked every day for 3 years, for 4+ hours a day (most averaged 8+). She loved animals, and we often talked about getting a zoo going to help animals that needed saving. ALthough it took a lot out of me, I was happy to be with her.

    2 months before we were supposed to meet (I was graduating college and saving money to move in with her basically) she told me she was talking to some guy online and that "he's so easy to talk to. I thought you were easy, but this guy is like breathing" A month later she told me they were having webcam sex. She wouldn't even go that far with me...and even then it took me 2 years. This guy did it within a month. Yeah a big WTF. She told me he had Asperger's also, and we tried a 3 way conversation. He went on some rant with a relationship with satan, and she just swooned. (She was a mormon but didn't like it. Believed a woman's place was subservient to a man). I basically asked her if it was like a light switch, and she just flipped the switch and forgot feelings for me. She said yes. And that was the last time I talked to her. Saw the day she and I were supposed to meet that she changed her screen name to "his fiance."

    So no. I wouldn't give an Aspie another chance. Not after that one. I wasted 3 years of my college life and was replaced literally overnight. Not gonna do that again.

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    • Shaggyjunior
      11 years ago

      We're not all the same..

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    • Shackleford96
      12 years ago

      Wow, that was very harsh of her to do that.

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  • nAt2017
    12 years ago

    This is awfully vague. High-functioning autism? As in, barely on the spectrum? That would hardly make a difference in the relationship. However, if I'm dating him just out of pity, then that would be wrong. And I would break up with him for the sake of his dignity.

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  • roxielilyrox
    12 years ago

    you get all different stages of autism right? so it depends. however, as long as the conditions were not that bad and my feelings developed for that person.. then yea why not!? don't worry.. there's a person out there for everyone!!!! :)

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  • zchristian
    12 years ago

    I have it myself so of course i would and im not saying thay i would not if i didnt...

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  • UnwrittenPoet94
    12 years ago

    Like the person above me says, it depends. I have no problem with dating someone who has it, so long as they understand whats going on and are able to make the connection.

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  • la_la_la_la
    12 years ago

    Hiya,

    Hmm. Depends what he was interested in and how bad his problems were. I couldn't be with someone who did a lot of shouting or had behavioural problems – and I’ve got them! It would really upset me and would be likely to make me worse. Plus I couldn't talk to him.

    If we had the same interests it'd be brilliant. Only problem is if my interests or music taste changed that would pretty much be it.

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  • Its_Called_Love
    12 years ago

    I already have, although he didn't tell me he had it till after we broke up. I just thought he was different... Anyway, I would again as long as they were a good person and I liked them.

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  • NothingSpecial
    12 years ago

    I would date someone with autism if I liked them as a person. Their disability would only have a minor effect if any on the relationship. I would care more about their personality and if I liked them as a person genuinely.

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  • TheGuruOfTheSauce
    12 years ago

    Ehh no I don't need my gene pool being infected with a retard genes, my children will be normal not busted like the op. I'm sorry but anybody that would is genetically self destructive and definitely doesn't understand the concept of survival of the fittest if they want to breed more of natures mistakes. And If anybody thinks I'm being mean to people with autism it doesn't matter because they can't feel hurt from what I'm saying because they're socially retarded.

    Go on those that said yes, spread that disease and further manipulate natures weeding out process because of your own defunct logic and newfound liberated sense of moral justice. You're only postponing the inevitable extinction of retards which is far beyond damaging to this worlds progress.
    Selfish...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Your comment is highly ignorant and I am not hurt by it, not because Im "retarded" but because Im logical enough to realize I shouldnt be offended by other peoples ignorance. Autism has became a so called disability because autistic people are not understood by society. It wouldn't be a disability if people weren't bothered by people who interpet social and emotional information differantly. Autistic people are different, not disabled and have as many strengths as they have difficulies. I also find your phrase "a retard genes" amusing as you have implied a singular plural gene.

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    • crazedrunk
      12 years ago

      Sir/ma'am, I believe YOU are one of the "retards" you speak of. It's disturbing to see the words you use to refer to autism, which is still not well understood. Open your eyes and don't be such an elitist fool. It's very narrow minded of you to speak of those with autism the way you have.

      "Survival of the fittest." Give me a break. The fittest in what aspect? We're not wild animals, living in trees and caves. Survival of the fittest, if you insist on mentioning it, works differently in a human-dominated world. Autistic people tend to have amazing strengths in several areas and are very capable of great things. Just because they lack in an ability to communicate or express emotions the way most other people do, it doesn't make them retarded. For most, those things are just an obstacle that takes longer than usual to overcome, or is something they learn to cope with. It's a difference, not a handicap. You have no idea how many people, who were diagnosed with or believed to have some form of autism, have contributed immensely to humanity. Autistic people are perfectly capable of love...and much more. You're obviously misinformed on this disorder and have a very ignorant perspective. I suggest you get a clue.

      Every form of life on this planet deserves a chance.

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