Would you consider being a second girlfriend?

23 Comments

I asked a very similar question to this around a year ago, and got several interesting answers so I think I'll post it again, and I'll try to clarify anything I may have left vague last time.

If a guy who was dating a girl already, asked you to be his second girlfriend would you accept?

You would not be a side chick or a secret.
The guy is not cheating on his first girlfriend, she has full knowledge of what's going on and is OK with it.

It's not just a fwb type deal or anything like that it's basically just a normal relationship except the guy has two girlfriends.
So you would be expected to be loyal to him and he would only be with the two of you.
You would not just be a third wheel but an equal partner the same as the first girlfriend.

Your relationship is to him not a Threeway with the girl so sex with her is not required but if the two of you want to try there are no objections.

So ladies under the parameters provided would you consider being a second girlfriend.

I'd accept it 18
no not my thing 37
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Comments ( 23 )
  • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously
    7 years ago

    If I was allowed to do my own thing no problem. If I am expected to be monogamous while he does whatever? not going to happen!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      you are expected to be monogamous and he gets both girls but it's not him being completely free to do ''whatever'' as stated he would be loyal to the two of you only, no one else would be brought in.

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      • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously
        7 years ago

        He can do whatever he likes as long as I get the same consideration.

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      • Jeffc19
        7 years ago

        Lol that's a good one, if he's cheating on her with u he's gonna do the same to your dumb ass

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          7 years ago

          I don't understand how it's cheating?

          The first girlfriend is aware and gave permission.

          How is that cheating?

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          • Jeffc19
            7 years ago

            Cuz he's gonna cheat anyway on both of you with bitchs you don't know about , you think somebody like that is gonna be honest don't delude yourself

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            • here2help
              7 years ago

              its only cheating if the other party is unaware and is stricly a monogamous relationship. it seems you dont understand what that big word is, so let me simplify it for you. 1 man 1 woman and nobody else. OP is talking about a relationship that is not a monogamy.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              7 years ago

              if he wasn't planning on being honest why bother to tell the first girl and get her permission?

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  • charli.m
    7 years ago

    No.

    I'm guessing you wouldn't be ok with it if you were the second boyfriend and she could have both but you had to be loyal to only her.

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    • RoseIsabella
      7 years ago

      Amen to that!

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    7 years ago

    I prefer a monogamous relationship, so no, I don't feel like sharing.

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    That's just a normal polyamorous relationship.

    Polyamory/polygamy isn't for everyone, and requires much thought and consideration before starting for both men and women. I suggest you read up on different forms of polyamorous relationships (there are many ways to go about it) and what's needed to make a relationship like this successful. If you're still on the fence about it after all the research, talk to the guy about a trial run, and if you're uncomfortable after a month or so of dating, then you two can just remain friends.

    Personally, I find having multiple partners unappealing. Why? Well... I'm monogamous. I can't deny it. I enjoy being loyal to one person, and giving him all my affection. Sleeping around, or having multiple boyfriends seem empty, like I can't decide who I want to build a life with or I'm always searching. If I met a guy who is in an open relationship or has his own harem, I wouldn't take the relationship seriously.

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    Hell muthafuckin NO!

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  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Polyamory isn't for everyone and everyone that does it will have different circumstances and rules and such. A good starting place for anyone considering this lifestyle is a good called "The Ethical Slut"* I think the word "slut" in the title is unfortunate and likely there to grab attention but the book is really good at explaining how to make non-traditional relationships work.

    I'm in a poly family with 4 other members and it works wonderfully for us but I can see it would present problems for alot of ppl. Communication and confidence are definite must haves to make it work.

    * https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Practical-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379/177-2760581-5227240?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      THANK YOU

      I love it when people have literature to go with their ideas, and it looks interesting, I might buy it.

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      • mysistersshadow
        7 years ago

        You might even be able to find a free pdf of it if you look around a little bit.

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  • BlackyHancock
    7 years ago

    I had a partner offer me this scenario once. She said I could have another GF as long as I always came back to her. For me it didn't feel right to be in it tho.

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    • mokuton
      7 years ago

      You fucking cunt. If i were you i would do it.

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  • Tempest-au
    7 years ago

    Still too many questions.

    What if the "second girlfriend" wanted to bring in a second boyfriend, would the guy be hip with that, or is he stuck in some old-fashioned heterosexual male fantasy world?

    Is there a schedule of who gets whom when, or is it "catch as catch can"? What if one of the group's needs are not being met?

    How are issues of jealousy and rejection being dealt with? Does the "first girlfriend" have preferential rights like the "first wife" of a harem? How are you planning to deal with the issue of children, or even basic household finances if you are all living together?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I love all the questions it makes the posts more fun:)

      First question, it's answered in the post, no the girl could not bring in anyone else. The relationship is only the three mentioned. Each girl would be loyal to the guy, and the guy would only be with the two of them.

      Next for the schedule question, I don't have a specific answer for this because this is a problem in any relationship, on how much time people spend together. As stated, beyond the fact that the guy has two girlfriends this is a normal relationship and thus the parties would have to communicate with one another on how they want things to work. If they all want to live together, live separate, ect just like in any relationship.

      Preferential rights question,(good important question) no the first girl doesn't get preferential rights, as stated the first girlfriend, is aware of the situation and has agreed to it, also stated the new girl would be an equal partner, so the first girlfriend would have agreed that you would be an equal. -- thanks for this question, I should've clarified this one better.

      As for the remaining questions of dealing with, jealousy, children, finances, ect this again I have no specific answer for, I'm not sure how I could, as with all relationships it is different in every case and requires communication between all parties involved. It's something that the involved parties would just have to talk out together.

      Again thanks for the questions :p I hope i answered them sufficiently

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      • Tempest-au
        7 years ago

        Yep. Clearly this is a fantasy of yours that you have actually never seriously considered.

        Allow me to let you in on a little secret - polyamory is a whole lot of hard work, and rarely works long term. My first marriage was destroyed when my wife wanted to include a close mutual friend (female) into our marriage - not just as a "fuck buddy", but as an equal full-time partner. My wife and I both "fell in love" with the friend, and the friend "fell in love" with me. Over time the relationship between the friend and I became stronger, and my wife's jealousy increased to the point she left. Later my wife and I got divorced, and I married the friend, so kind of worked for me, no so well for the (first) wife...

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  • riffraffy
    7 years ago

    If the man is high enough value, he will be in a situation where he essentially has multiple girlfriends. But women need to justify the situation inside their own minds--asking point blank like that and of course they'll refuse.

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