Would you ask someone you're dating to show you their hiv test?

18 Comments

I'm a 22 year old virgin and I plan on dating soon, but one of my main concerns is approaching someone and asking them with confidence if they can show me their HIV Test results as proof that they don't have HIV.

I'm hesitant because I don't have too much confidence in my social abilities as it is and I also have a big fear of rejection as well. I don't want people to get a bad of impression of me as a nosy or rude person, but I also don't want to endanger my health either.

How would you guys handle this situation?

I'd ask that person before dating them 1
I'd ask that person before having sex 51
I wouldn't ask at all 10
I'd try to find out for myself without asking 11
Other (Add a comment) 4
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Comments ( 18 )
  • wigsplitz
    12 years ago | pl

    Say "Before we have sex, let's go get tested together so we're both sure of eachother's health". And then, go together, and both of you do it. It's usually free, or very low cost.

    Besides, what if he shows you a test that's a year old? Or what if he's never been tested? Or what if you ask, and he just prints something off his computer that's totally fake?

    This way, it covers all your bases, it's far less awkward, and you'll get up to date results.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      This is excellent advice, perfect actually. I didn't think about going together as way to have both people assured of each other's well-being and honesty, plus lessening the awkwardness.

      Thanks alot. I always like reading your posts and you give such helpful, informative and logical advice.

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      • wigsplitz
        12 years ago

        Well, I'm glad I helped you!! I might be an asshole sometimes but when I am actually giving advice on a serious topic, and not just arguing with someone, I really, really do try to help. When it comes to your health, I'd hate to think a little bit of awkwardness or embarrassment could lead to you putting yourself in danger! So, I truly am glad I could be of assistance!!

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        • [Old Memory]
          12 years ago

          Will you marry me?

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          • wigsplitz
            12 years ago

            Sorry, I'm already married. And I'll be gone for a couple weeks starting tomorrow, so I hope you can manage without me!

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            • [Old Memory]
              12 years ago

              Cmon, lose the zero and come to hero.

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      • mystery7
        8 years ago

        My last partner insisted on this so we both went. It was a little awkward but worth doing.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        You also reminded me of my human sexuality class.

        The teacher offered us extra credit if we got tested for HIV. He didn't need to see the results - just the paperwork that showed we went.

        Those of us who didn't need the test had the option of donating blood instead since the blood is also screened for HIV.

        At the time I was still a virgin, sexually inactive, and never got into drug abuse so I chose the blood donation.

        Come to think of it... hey what a way to spend valentine's day - giving blood. i think it was even used on an episode of that zip code show. one of the 2 times i ever watched it really.

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  • mystery7
    9 years ago

    I started a relationship where my partner insisted I have a HIV test prior to us having intercourse (as opposed to BJs). I didn't have any problem with it... but I insisted she have one too - what's good for the goose is good for the gander no? Both tests were ok but in longer term she turned out to be a fruitcake – and there's no test for that.

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  • Maggie143
    12 years ago

    I want to offer a clean bill of health to my husband before we started having sex, so we both got tested. (side story: when he saw the speculum he asked what it was for and i told him. He almost fainted and had to be taken out of the room. to this day still makes me giggle)

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  • stilldoinit
    8 years ago

    Do NOT trust a written document or test results handed to you by a "date."

    If you are responsible to yourself, insist the 2 of you get tested at the same time - at the same location - and insist the results are presented to both of you at the same time.

    I know of NO other method or means to give maximum assurance of results. If a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" balks at this suggestion, you want NOTHING to do with them - for they are, at best, irresponsible. At worst, they are dishonest. Both traits should cause you to run, not walk, to the nearest exit.

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  • theaverageatheist
    11 years ago

    he would be kinda of a dick if he knew he had HIV and didn't tell you..but to be safe got with wingspliz's idea

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  • RosiePosy18
    12 years ago

    ... Use a condom and then you shouldn't have to worry about it too much. I can definitely see why you're worried but it's probably never going to happen if you go around asking potential partners for 'proof' they don't have sexual diseases... not exactly a turn on :P

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  • theytookthisone
    12 years ago

    Theres more than just HIV you gotta worry about. Herpes and HPV are life-term too

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  • isabel
    12 years ago

    Well u shd get tested before u hv sex with the guy n if he is reluctant qn urself he cd be +. Even in relationships people cheat n cd infect u wen at first he was safe. Maybe routine check up for al medical conditions HIV inclusive cd wak 4 faithful partners.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    I was lucky... I never had to. My BF & I met in the military. One of the requirement for going to a Navy ship is to be tested for HIV.

    Plus he and I were also avid blood donors too. :-)

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    • Avant-Garde
      12 years ago

      That's lovely:)

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    If he's an understanding person, than he shouldn't have a problem with it. It makes sense to get tested before starting a relationship. If he tries to avoid doing it, then maybe you shouldn't be with him. Find someone who thinks the same on the matter.

    Good Luck!

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