Worried about my friend who's into an older guy?

10 Comments

Okay, so my friend is fourteen years old, and she recently confessed to me that she's been interested in my friend for two years, who unfortunately for her, is seventeen. It's obvious how much she cares about him. She keeps things surprisingly hidden, just keeping a friendship with him, but it's really getting her down as she sees him get hurt by so many girls, and he always says "I wish I could find a girl that'd treat me right" and it must be so infuriating for her. We all go to a Youth Theatre group together, so she sees him often, and I can see that he likes her, as a friend I assume. He talks to her a fair bit, because they share music and gaming tastes. He seems to look at her a lot, but I'm still not convinced. So that's where you guys come in. What should I tell her to do about this guy? I think they would be cute together, but if he likes her, I don't think he's saying anything because of her age, and he may not be attracted to her anyway, because whereas she is mentally mature for her age, she's in no means physically mature. Any help is appreciated.

Leave it as friends. 6
Wait 'till she's a little older, see if he's interested. 17
Stop going for older guys. 8
Confess how she feels. 19
Wait for him to make a move. 7
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    A 14 year old who is "mentally mature for her age" who is obsessing about a boy of any age is hardly "mature" at all. You are all children and should be having tea parties and playing with dolls, not contemplating a relationship with anyone of the opposite sex.
    Why are all of you trying to grow up so damn fast?
    You haven't any idea of the burdens and responsibilities that come with leaving the nice, warm, secure and FREE residence you have at your parents' house.
    In time neither of you will even remember this 17 year old kid, nor he you two, unless someone is so stupid as to ruin their life by getting knocked up.
    The two of you should go play with your dollies and take advantage of the opportunities available in school. Allow yourselves to grow up at a rate commensurate with your growing knowledge, not cup size!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • KatnissEverdeen
      10 years ago

      To have an attraction to any member of the opposite sex is nature, it's not something to be opressed. I agree with your point with getting knocked up, but believe me, if my friend were to be involved with this guy, she'd be far to sensible to do anything like that. And you're suggesting that a seventeen year old, who can have sex legally, get married with parent's consent and drive a car (these are the laws in Britain, by the way, in case you get confused) should be "playing with dollies"? Maybe I misunderstood your analogy.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • thegypsysailor
        10 years ago

        It was my understanding that the girl is 14, the guy 17. Am I wrong? And attraction is one thing, while obsessing is a whole other thing, and NOT appropriate for a 14 year old girl!
        Basically my point was that all these children who are trying to grow up so fast are missing the joys of the now.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • SangoNyappy
    10 years ago

    It's not that big gap. When I was 14 I was dating 17 years old guy and I have to say it was the happiest relationship I've ever had.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Sog
    10 years ago

    Well as far as I'm concerned, you're all little kiddies at 14 or 17, but I know at that age it seems like those three years is a massive gap.

    I voted to tell him how she feels, but really at that age crushes come and go depending on what way the wind is blowing that day so this isn't anything to be so worked up about.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • hitchman
      10 years ago

      That's called Rollin man

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    It's fine.

    Everything is fine.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    That's not a very big age gap but depending on where you live he could possibly get in trouble next year if they get caught having sex. Just make sure he is cool with her parents and it should be fine if they like him.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Karmasbitch
    10 years ago

    Well, I don't think it's wise for the two to hook up, however I think it would be good for her to express her feelings.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • SkullsNRoses
    10 years ago

    Leave it as friends definitely, I know girls who went out with 17 year olds at 14, and reguardless of how mature she was it never ended well.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0