Will my girlfriend grow out of her drinking habit?

So I've been living with my girlfriend for over a year now - but we've known each other since we were kids. I'm 19 and shes 21. I used to smoke allot of weed, and I enjoy doing psychedelics every now and then, but her dad was addicted to alcohol and cocain, so she is very sensitive about drugs. I mostly stopped smoking weed because the fact that I smoked pot on a weekly basis stressed her out, although I do still smoke very rarely. I never lie to her about it - and she isn't bothered by my pot smoking anymore, even when I do occasionally smoke. However, She drinks allot. I thought that I might just be biased towards thinking she drinks allot, but I've been keeping track for the past two weeks and shes drunk 7/13 days. I don't count a beer or two - when she drinks she gets really drunk and has 6 or 7 shots.

I really don't mind the fact that shes drinking at bars with her friends - I completally trust her, even if shes smashed. But I hate seeing that she drinks like that - and it really gets to me. She just started going to school again which makes me so happy! We planned to meet at a restaurant today after I got off work to celebrate, and when she got there she told me about her day. Shed been to the bar after her test today and had 6 or 7 shots, and hoped I didn't mind that she was going out later that day to drink with her friends after our date to celebrate.

So heres what irks me - she drinks when something goes wrong, she drinks when something goes good, she drinks to hang out. When shes drunk, shes convinced that everything she feels is true, wakes me up to have sex only to start feeling incredibly insecure five seconds afterwards, so of course I stay up to comfort her (I'll always be willing to be there for her - but sometimes it gets ridiculous.) She gets really angry sometimes - and sometimes not.

Normally I wouldn't be as bothered - she drinks allot, but she is also 21 so thats not exactly uncommon. But back when I used to smoke, I didn't fight with her when I was high. I didn't yell or wake her up. I didn't tell her about all the girls I had talked to that day who gave me free pot. But the fact that I was high bothered her - and that was enough for me to cut it off. Yet, here she is drinking every other day - although to her credit she did stop for a week when I pointed out that almost every single one of our fights has been while she is drunk) And I understand her position, I really do, she had a very tough life and I really believe its just a phase she is going through - the only thing I feel that I can do, without pushing her away, is to be there for her and make sure she knows that I am not okay with the excessive drinking. (I've talked to her very throughly about how I feel about it). But what do you think? Is it a habbit that she will grow out if she has love and support in her life?

Voting Results
23% Normal
Based on 30 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Oh_Hai_There

    You sound like the kind of guy most girls would want; stopping something that may bother them or make them upset. As for her drinking I don't think she will grow out of it. I suggest a psychiatrist or a professional.

    Drinking can ruin relationships. It's devastating to watch a relationship or marriage be destroyed by alcohol. I know this isn't about me but I promised my girlfriend that when I'm 21 and she's 19 that I won't drink any alcohol. Even when she's not around me. I probably won't be an alcohol person anyways.

    I hope this helps :)

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  • jitterbug66

    You don't "grow out" of drinking.

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  • FocoUS

    I don't think she'll grow out of it. I guess a psychiatrist would say find the source of her drinking problem, I'm not a shrink but it might be her insecurity.

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  • jordbored22

    My friend stopped smoking for his gf and then after she broke up with him. But he still hasn't smoked since then.

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  • fartonmyface

    You can grow out of drinking. I did.

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  • Mando

    You are only 19 and this girl has a lot of baggage and a big booze problem. Maybe she will change. Maybe not. And maybe (and personally I think more likely) it will just get worse.

    You don't have a crystal ball, no one does, but what is obvious is this is a relationship with a lot of risks (for nothing but problems) and not a lot of promise. Living with an alcoholic is not pretty.

    So instead of focusing on her (PS - notice how she is already making you take responsibility) try refocusing on yourself. Is this high risk relationship what you want? Can you do no better?

    You are young. Why settle so quickly to take on someone else's problems? Frankly, I'd say move on and leave.

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  • ExcessiveBDSM

    In a relationship, one person needs to keep the other in check and vice versa. Both need to listen to each other and be completely obedient to each others desires if they are reasonable. Love requires work and effort. The bed room is a whole different story!

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  • Wambo37

    grow out ? its not that easy. Do something good luck though

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  • Darkoil

    She's 21 for fucks sake, don't make a big deal about it.

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