Will i bleed after not having sex for ten years?

6 Comments

So I was raped when I was 7 years old only. Now I'm 17. No one knows about this. While this was happening I did not understand what was actually happening. I was confused and it was hurting very badly. I remember after this I ran back home and changed my pants immediately because I was feeling ugly and wet and I saw red substance on my pants which I assume now was blood. During that time I didn't know what sex was. Now I know. I never told anyone about this incident. After I grew old enough to understand these things I began to feel ugly. I cry, feeling like hell thinking that I couldn't save myself for the person I love. Whenever I remember this incident I feel worse. Even while I'm I'm typing these words I'm still crying. I never expressed my feelings to anyone. Maybe that's why. So I never had actual sex with anyone after that "incident". My family is very religious and for this we are not allowed to have sex with anyone before marriage. But I was already raped and no one knows about this and I never told anyone because I'm ashamed of myself I don't know why. I have a boyfriend and he thinks I'm a virgin but I know I'm not and we're going to have actual sex after our marriage but I'm afraid if I don't bleed what will he think of me. How will I explain to him? I never masturbated. I'm afraid to insert my fingers inside my vagina because of the incident which happened 10 years ago with me. I'm in a sort of mental pain. Those memories haunts me and makes me feel like I'm not perfect enough for anyone. Forgive me if there is any mistake as English is not my native language.

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Comments ( 6 )
  • UnabashedUser
    6 years ago

    Confine yourself to blowjobs and vigorous anal rogering and you'll be just fine

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    • nikkiclaire
      6 years ago

      Wow you are a sick bastard.

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  • aaaa1234
    6 years ago

    First of all, there's no need to "save" yourself for your lover. Please respect yourself as an individual. Love yourself before loving others. You are NOT ugly, dirty, etc. A crime was committed against you, and you did NOTHING wrong. You are such a strong and beautiful girl, you have spent so many years keeping this thing secret. If your boyfriend wants your virginity more than your love, then sorry, but he doesn't deserve a girlfriend like you. Please get over the mental trauma, I know it must be horrible. Have a good career, make some good friends, get ahead with your life.
    By the way, I am a man and trust me, you are not imperfect for your boyfriend because of what happened to you. Take care, and reply what you feel. Good luck!!

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    BTW- hymens don't break/heal, they stretch/tighten

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  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    I am truelly sorry about what happened. Like the other poster said he won't even know you aren't a virgin.

    I say this with all sincerity. Honestly, while your rapist is ultimately to blame your religion is seriously screwing with you. There is no reason to feel guilt. You need to take a serious look at what your religion is doing to you. You did absolutely nothing wrong.

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  • MR.mr
    6 years ago

    the hymen can break from literally almost anything, if you don't bleed it won't mean anything, theres no real reason for him to believe you aren't a virgin.

    2 important things
    1- if it still bothers you you should see a counselor.
    2- you should get yourself checked for stds, though unlikely you could have something that's slow growing that you could pass to your boyfriend.

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