Why women customers in line friendlier to cashier than to me?

34 Comments

This has been happening a lot lately, there'd be some woman in front of me in line who is like flirty and so friendly to the cashier, than when I talk to her, her friendliness goes down like 10 notches when she turns to me. And no, I'm not misinterpreting it. One friend of mine says that it may be because the cashier is more "safe" than me, the woman already knows that he can't try any funny behavior or it could mean his job, but she could assume that I may be some weirdo. I'm not a weirdo though, but she wouldn't know that. However, I don't think that's itbecause I've seen women be very friendly to other guy customers standing next to them in line. I personally believe it's the shallow thing, I know I'm not easy on people's eyes, you know how many times I've tried talking to women who seem totally scared to look at me in the eyes when I talk to them?I get that a lot more than many people, I look around. Please don't try to save my feelings, I can handle anything except being confused anymore. I know my looks is at least part of the reason for this, I have a huge head way out of proportion to the rest of my face, and a very small nose, that combo makes ugliness. Just look at any rugged or handsome guy, none of them have that combination. Anyway, check the box on why you think the female customers are much friendly to the cashier than to me (a customer in line).

The cashier is more safe (i explain what that means in post)	1
The cashier is helping her and I'm not	11
She finds me very unattractive	3

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Comments ( 34 )

fakeaccount3

5 years ago | pl

>“I’m not a weirdo”
>Writes a huge poll over analyzing people’s disinterest in him

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- [Old Memory]
  
  5 years ago
  
  Fake! Welcome home! I was concerned you retired from IIN.
  
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  - fakeaccount3
    
    5 years ago
    
    Lol thanks man, nah just been getting ready to enter the real world, I thought you were leaving around now too?
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      5 years ago
      
      Yep, at the end of the this month.
      Good luck out there, tear it up.
      
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      - fakeaccount3
        
        5 years ago
        
        Thanks you too!
        
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        [Old Memory]
        
        5 years ago
        
        Thanks.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Getting hurt by seeing people make their attitudes very different to me than to others is something that would hurt a lot of people, I don't see how expressing your hurt about that makes you a weirdo.
  
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  - fakeaccount3
    
    5 years ago
    
    “Getting hurt by [others harmless actions]”
    There’s your problem,
    Who gives a shite what strangers think of you? How old are you? I’m guessing early 20s.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      No, I'm older than that. So you wouldn't let it bother you if you saw people treating you noticeably colder than they were treating others?
      
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      - wigz
        
        5 years ago
        
        It can bother you but it's all about how you process it. The way I see it from your post is that you are not dealing with it in a healthy or productive way. You're angry at women because you feel like you deserve something from them. Then you also pick out physical features that you have no control over and try to blame that. These things are ways you are avoiding looking at the real problem, yourself, and the things you CAN change. Maybe you come off as creepy or weird (socially inept)-you can work on that. Maybe you're not as nice or interesting as you think (common problem). You're not entitled to anybody's attention or anything, and just being 'nice' certainly isn't enough to have a productive exchange. Also, women are people. Treat them as the human individuals they are. Women can tell when you're a 'niceguy' or being insincere.
        
        I'll agree with you that unattractive people can have a harder time socially but you can help yourself. Get a good haircut, experiment with facial hair, dress to flatter yourself, get fit if you're out of shape, read up on social tips and practice conversations, get a hobby or passion for something, read, travel (doesn't have to be far, go see local sights, it's great to be able to recommend or discuss local things to see/do/eat), learn some jokes, make sure your hygeine is on point, be confident (fake it if you have to, most people do until it becomes habit). Don't look at interactions like transactions, like you must get what you want out of it, because you will be often disappointed and it feeds your bitterness. You can't control other people. Your only option, unless you want to stay in a cycle of disappointment, loneliness and bitterness, is to look at yourself and make changes in things within your control.
        
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      - Caspersghost
        
        5 years ago
        
        I moght take it more personal if it was people I delt with costantly.
        
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      - fakeaccount3
        
        5 years ago
        
        Nope, it’s a waste of time. Some people are just cold, I ignore them and keep going on in life.
        
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[Old Memory]

5 years ago

You posted this before a couple of months back. It’s getting boring go find somewhere else to troll or at least think up an original lie to ask questions about!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  I'm not trolling! I'm needing to find somewhere to go to talk about my feelings on what's going on with me, and I don't have many people in my real life to talk to about it. Everything I've written in my post is really happening to me. Do you have any advice for me regarding what I posted up top?
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    5 years ago
    
    Why do you even give a shit about what a total stranger thinks about you? Go and meet real people and make friends that way, join a sports club, or an art class, or a dance class, or an amateur dramatic society, or an adult education class at night school. Doesn't matter what just do it, find something that floats your boat and have a go. You don't even have to be any good, talk to people and you will make friends because you have a common interest. Buying bread and milk in Tesco and trying to chat up some one else in the queue just comes across as sad and desperate, and forget the cashier she's just there to get paid and probably already has a life with a man in it.
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      5 years ago
      
      Wow seriously?! Why are YOU on here then Nicky?
      Not everyone has friends or people they can talk too. Try not to be so mean.
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        5 years ago
        
        Don’t mean to come across as mean but trying to be honest. Sometimes the truth is a hard fact to deal with but doesn’t make it any less real. I’m on this site because I stumbled across it a few months back when looking for something on the internet. I found it interesting to read about how some people’s minds work and enjoy offering advice when I feel it is appropriate. That’s not to say I’m always right, every one is entitled to an opinion. But, in this case I strongly believe the OP would do well to look at other ways to make friends or meet a girlfriend, rather than coming across as a bit creepy in the local supermarket.
        
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charli.m

5 years ago

The interaction with the cashier is a required interaction. Yours is forced on her. From what youve written, you don't sound like you're adequately able to judge "flirty" or "friendly" behaviour or not, and I question whether you're able to accurately report on yours or others behaviour. Of course, I wasn't there and so I don't know the situation, but that is the way you present yourself here. Do you have social development issues?

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sissycakes

5 years ago

i am a woman and i wrote this long ago. i remember this all the time. i figured out what it is. my eyes are gigantic.

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(s)aint

5 years ago

As a woman, it´s annoying when a man that you aren´t attracted to tries to chat you up. There, I said it.
If it´s the cashier I know they are supposed to talk and be friendly, I don´t have to wprry about them stalking me when I leave the store.

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lonewolf1253

5 years ago

You again? Get a life man!

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RoseIsabella

5 years ago

This whole routine is starting to get old. I hope you can try to get over all of this. Your fixation on flirtation is bad for you. You know some people are friendly, but for the most part don't really like flirting. I dont really like when people are super flirtatious with me. Yes, I don't mind if some cool gay dude flirts with me, or a young hottie, because they probably see me as a harmless older woman. If Fabio flirted with me I would probably flirt back, because he's still a super model who can have anyone he wants so it would be comfortable, and completely non-threatening. I would never apologize to some random onlooker for flirting with whomever I choose, because I try to be polite to most people, and I'm not obligated to flirt with everyone who is interested in flirting with me. When it comes to most randoms the best approach is to feign befuddlement. As long as someone is polite, and not trying to act too weird, I'm polite as well.

Seriously, I prefer not to flirt. I think there are only two dude's I have flirted with on here ever in all the years I've been on IIN. I also really don't appreciate it when strangers are overly familiar with me or say things that could be deemed as overtly sexual.

Stop with the entitled poor me attitude, and just try to be happy and friendly when you talk to people, but not too friendly. If you say something stupid to a randon woman like, "you look like you could use a sensual massage", then you're practically asking for them to be disgusted, and unfriendly.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  I don't say anything like "would you like a sensual massage?" or anything close to that to the women I try talking to, I make simple small talk about the weather and stuff like that, and they're still cold as anything to me.
  
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  - Alichael
    
    5 years ago
    
    Like what I responded above, you're probably sending off unsettling vibes because you're worrying about this to the extreme.
    
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    5 years ago
    
    Well, that's just cold-hearted of them.
    
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    - Alichael
      
      5 years ago
      
      I don't think they're being cold hearted Rose, read my responses to the op, I believe that's what it is. This guy is worrying to such an excess about whether other customers in line or the cashier are friendly to him, that he's sending off very unsettling vibes which is causing the treatment he's getting.
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        5 years ago
        
        Makes sense.
        
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Alichael

5 years ago

10 to one that the actual reason these women are being less friendly to you than to others is because you're worrying about it so much that they are picking up your funky unsettled vibes that I garuntee are coming across obviously from how intensely you're trippin bout it.

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_confused_

5 years ago

Why would you stress over this

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  5 years ago
  
  Because it makes me feel alienated and unacceptable when I see someone lower their friendliness so noticably as soon as they see me and they then can't even seem to handle looking at me. Wouldn't you feel the same if you were getting that shit?
  
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  - Alichael
    
    5 years ago
    
    No, I wouldn't give two shits what strangers thought of me. If you could just chill out about all this, no, not everybody, but more people would not be weirded out about talking to you. Do you even realize what kind of vibes you must be sending out with the way you're worrying about all this? Chill, and you'll be doing them and yourself a favor.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      5 years ago
      
      Even when I'm relaxed, I'm still getting treated differently from the others.
      
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      - Alichael
        
        5 years ago
        
        I'm sure that you're not relaxed enough, or else you would've never been trippin bout this in the first place. Even if you're worrying about this down in your subconscious, you still could be sending off unsettling vibes which are causing the treatment you're getting.
        
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  - _confused_
    
    5 years ago
    
    No. I have shit tons of bullies and even old grannies call me satanist and drug addict (none of it's true, btw). So no, THAT would not upset me :3
    
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Are You Normal?

Why women customers in line friendlier to cashier than to me?