Why don't i want kids?

85% Normal
11 Comments

Ok so im 18 i know im young but nearly everyone i went to school with has a baby or is pregnant. They all seem so happy.
It sounds awful, but the thought of having a baby taking over my life making my appearance fade my body ruin and all my money gone kills me inside. I have a lot of respect for women who can do this.
I just feel so selfish that i dont think i could ever put myself through that?
Also I have a strong fear i wouldnt be able to provide for a baby i mean my mum raised 3 alone on average wage an done an excellent job but i could never see myself being able to do this
Does anyone else feel like this?

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 39 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • TheOneWhoComesFromEnordro
    9 years ago

    One does not need a reason to not have kids. Even if you just don't feel like it then it's fine.

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  • disthing
    9 years ago

    Where do you live?

    Seems strange that 'nearly everyone you went to school with has a baby or is pregnant' at only 18.

    From my experience, far more people don't have a baby at 18 than do. I'm 24, and out of the people from my school year, I'd say (at most) 5% have children.

    Your feelings towards parenthood are pretty normal and common for someone at your stage in life.

    Although the part about feeling "so selfish" for not thinking you could go through parenthood seems odd. Not wanting to be a parent is no more selfish than wanting to be a parent. They are both egocentric aspirations, first and foremost.

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    • royalewitcheese
      9 years ago

      No i think the fact that so many girls my age are having kids it seems the norm now am from north west england.
      Believe me ud be suprised how many girls i know have children.
      It all started with this one girl having a baby at 16 in my school.
      Ever since she did a lot of girls have felt they could also do it as she did such a great job raising her baby

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      • disthing
        9 years ago

        I'm in South West England (although I've lived in a few different places in the country) and this is very different from my experience. As I said, most 18 year olds I know have no immediate desire to have children, and aren't pregnant.

        You must live in a very maternal community or something.

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        • royalewitcheese
          9 years ago

          Tbh most girls my age have babies now because they believe they can do it my dad lives south west of england i know what you mean.
          But girls dont have any shame in having babies so young now around here, our world revolves around social network and once one young mum statts bragging about her perfect little family everyone else seems to follow.
          I dont think it's wrong to have kids now but i think people are having them for the wrong reasons.

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          • disthing
            9 years ago

            I guess we must be from very different communities then. I wouldn't like to be surrounded by girls who felt pressure to have a child at 18.

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            • royalewitcheese
              9 years ago

              Ye my dad lives south west ive seen the drastic differences it is madness!

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  • KeepsakeDoll
    9 years ago

    When you're ready for kids, you'll want one. If you don't want one then it's completely fine.

    Personally the pain of childbirth is what frightens me most.

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    • daydreamer394
      9 years ago

      Well, that's not true.

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    • royalewitcheese
      9 years ago

      Subconsciously i think that's my deal breaker too, but i think there's more to it

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  • EccentricWeird
    9 years ago

    You're 18. Mature a little and then think about it.

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