Why don't i want her?

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10 Comments

An effortlessly stunning girl; internally and externally developed a crush on me, but I don't have a sexual or romantic attraction to her despite how beautiful, talented, clever, artistic.. You name it! - she is. I feel like there's something wrong with me for never liking such gorgeous women back. This girl is a professional model ffs. (No I'm not asexual. I'm a lesbian woman.) So.. My question(s): Do you think it's common for incredible women to experience rejection too, and is it normal for me to not want to reciprocate for no reason, just simply no 'more than friend' connection?

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 69 votes (52 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Anime7
    9 years ago

    You always have such interesting things to say, I love your reading your comments.

    With that said:

    I think you point out something interesting when you say that a "guy can get rejected by a girl- people won't think that's so weird. But a girl who's rejected by a guy- some people will think that means something's really wrong with her." I think it's true, but to be fair, people are raised with these expectations. Like you said, there is still an undertone of women not being able to make the first move. When a women asks a guy out and she gets rejected I imagine that that feeling must be something knew. Women are use to be desired, yes the pressures of societal beauty standards effects them (as it does men). But women are desired, men are not. Men get rejected because they're the ones who have to put themselves in that position, to give someone the option to accept or spurn them.

    I agree with you though, that rejection should be an emotional turmoil that everyone should get use to but that's not the case. Making the first move isn't easy, nor fun, so I wouldn't blame a girl if she simply chose to not make it and instead waited for the guy to do it, while batting her eyelashes his way.

    It's all a matter of deciding how much you want the person. Sadly, television programs usually associate a person's worth with their relationship status. Which further pushes people into things that they may not be ready for. I think that's the problem here, young men and women are shown very harmful depictions of the other. Men are portrayed as these aggressive people, while women are portrayed as shy. However, the message is the same, being single is bad. So the guys will pretty much be the ones who take action and ask the person out. While women are never the ones to do so. But what if a girl liked a boy? Well tough, according to the media, the best you can do is flirt with them until they get the message. Which will probably be that you want sex, not commitment. Either ways, you're sending an unclear message, and it wouldn't be logical to be upset at the person for how they interpret a puzzle.

    I do agree with you that we should have more equal gender roles, but I don't blame girls who don't want to take on the role of being the one who makes the first move. Even though I highly believe that it will benefit everyone if she does.

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    • Satanic_Cereal
      9 years ago

      Thanks, I didn't realize how addicting it can be to tell people my opinion... I don't blame a girl for having trouble making the first move either (because of what I said in my overly long rant). In fact, the first 3/4 of my long comment didn't even have much to do with this poll... Though I connected it somehow, sort of. I agree, a person's worth should not have anything to do with relationship status. That part of their life is personal. It's true that the pressure on either gender role is harmful to people. We all want to behave how we feel, rather than what's expected of us.

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      • Anime7
        9 years ago

        Honestly I like hearing you rant, and I mean that. You're very opinionated, and I like hearing what you have to say.

        Last part of what you say is dead on, and it sucks that people are pressured, or rather feel pressured, to behave a certain way. I feel for the OP, I imagine her whole life she's been told that this is the kind of person that you should fall in love with, so it must be quite difficult to admit that you don't like her.

        Although alternatively, I imagine there's also the feeling that perhaps a person who's this talented, well-rounded and beautiful might not like you again. I mean what are the chances that someone like this will even like you in the first place. Why not just take what you can get when the getting is good, know what I mean? Perhaps this is a thought that is plaguing the OP, I know that it would haunt me.

        Another thing is just insecurities, as if this person is too good. Like a countdown, the OP feels that it would only be a matter of time before she sees how bad of a person OP is, or thinks of herself as. However, I feel like the OP would've mentioned feeling insecure in the post, so I don't think this is a reason why she doesn't like her.

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  • ㅤㅤㅤ
    9 years ago

    Huh? Totally normal! Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, as cliche as it is, right?

    Maybe you're like me, and you find imperfections more attractive than perfections. When I find something that's just naturally imperfect about a person, or a little quirk they do...I just go crazy. Don't force yourself to love her, if she doesn't make you feel that special way, she doesn't. :) Hope it goes well.

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    • ㅤㅤㅤ
      9 years ago

      *I hope it goes well

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with you. You have the right to reject or accept whomever you please as they are and you don't owe anyone an explanation.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    because you're not a wind up toy

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    Maybe she thinks your a butch when you are really a femme.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    At least someone wants you. A lot of people here have never experienced being liked by anyone, let alone someone as wonderful as the woman who you're talking about.

    She must be missing something important if you aren't into her.

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  • shuggy-chan
    9 years ago

    OHHH BABY im "internally" crushing so hard

    haha i just like how that sounds. and yeah thats normal

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