Why doesn't this bother me?

63% Normal
14 Comments

My new girlfriend is bi. And she has a girlfriend that she sees some nights. Now this does not bother me in the least. Everybody involved is upfront about the fact that the three of us are fucking each other. Is this normal? If my girlfriend were seeing another guy I would never be down with that. But she's seeing a woman, albeit a butch, but a woman. How can I be cool with that? My best buddy says that most guys would be cool with that. Really? So this is normal for me to feel this way?

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 57 votes (36 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • WhiteStallion
    9 years ago

    Just because its a female your partner is cheating on you with doesn't make it a different situation. They aren't friends you know I am and would be perturbed by this greatly.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    My last girlfriend was bi and I wanted her to get a girlfriend at one point because I need a lot of personal space. She made out with lots of my other female friends too and I thought it was hot.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    I wouldn't be cool with it. There's nothing wrong with having an open relationship type of thing but I'm not in to it. It would seem to easy for two out of the three to have a deeper connection, therefor the odd one out is less loved, less involved, and so on.

    Even if it was another woman I wouldn't like it, if not moreso. Not a huge fan of lesbianism (not saying that they shouldn't be able to eat at resteraunts or anything I just don't see it as a turn on, moreso of a turn off).

    So, I would like to know if that is the type of relationship someone is going for before entering it, that way I could reject the offer beforehand.

    Would I say most men would like this?...Meeeeh, no. I don't think most would, despite the stereotype that men would love threesomes. I think a large number would, but not the majority.

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      It's not supposed to be a turn on for you, it's a turn on for them! Do you think they care whether you're turned on or off by it?

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        In this scenario, it would. If three partners are engaging in sexual acts then it's going to involve one of the two sexes having two people of one sex in it, which means the third one would have to be comfortable with it to be a threesome otherwise it won't work as a threesome.

        So, no. I don't think they would care just as I don't expect them to or would care if they cared, the point still stands that it being a turn off would be a problem withing a relationship with three people in them.

        So...

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  • imgen
    9 years ago

    It's simply an open relationship, but in this case, only girls allowed I'm guessing?

    Most guys are into lesbians so that's probably why you don't mind.

    Ask her how she would feel if you were doing the same?

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I think you are an exceptional individual. I do not believe most guys would be 'cool' with this and I'm sure most would feel extremely threatened by it.
    Good on you; you are a better man than I.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      I wouldn't say it makes you a better person for doing something like this.

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      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        Being able to share your lover is an incredible act of faith, trust and selflessness that I doubt that many could equal, myself included. That is how we all SHOULD be, but since I am not, then this person has my respect and admiration, and is a better person than I, in my eyes.

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        • slings_and_arrows
          9 years ago

          But you said the opposite in the other thread about the guy who wanted one main partner and other lovers on the side...

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          • thegypsysailor
            9 years ago

            No so. The other guy wanted a whore to come home to, not a love, he's at taker, a user. This person shows no interest in tit for tat, his situation seems selfless; a giver. Big difference to me.

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  • pastor_of_muppets
    9 years ago

    I would definitely not be 'cool' with that and I believe you only are going with the flow of things because you feel inadequate to a certain extent and you have either an exceptionally low self esteem or you're just afraid to speak up.
    This is not okay at all

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      Ha ha ha, what an excellent example of the old cliche that when you're pointing a finger at someone else, four fingers are pointing back at you.

      So you wouldn't be cool with it? Fine, I suspect that's in fact because you feel inadequate and either have very low self esteem .......

      Obviously not OK for you, but he's OK with it and the two women are OK with it, so what exactly is the problem and why do you care?

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  • slings_and_arrows
    9 years ago

    Most guys wouldn't be cool with that. Your buddy is talking about when you have gf who you're not serious about and how it would be some fantasy if she was into girls too. People in monogamous serious relationships usually would not be ok with sharing their partner and would feel inadequate. But not everyone is the same. And it's clear you don't see the other girl as a threat which is probably why you're ok with it.

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