Why doesn't anyone make me a priority?

I'm 27f and cant find a gf, tried everything, cant even find one date and no one even tries on dating sites! I'm lonely and never had sex or a relationship and wanted my first sexual experience with a women as I like women Not men. Before cv19, still no luck and women seem mission impossible to get to know. I dont understand, will I die a virgin? I wanted a loving relationship where soemone asks me how I am, texts me often and wants to see me, have cute romantic dates.
Whys this impossible to find ita not like I'm unattractive or have a shit personality 😭😭😭😭

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 7 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 33 )
  • litelander8

    Definitely a personality thing.

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    • How

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  • ellnell

    You are probably too desperate. That vibe shines through. Do you prioritise yourself? You need to at least like yourself and know your worth otherwise you dont know what kind people you may attract if you find someone now . We attract people of the same nature as us. It is your personality if you are desperate.

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    • Well what's "prioritiszing one self ?
      Idk I feel my self esteem does pick up, until someone ghosts me (a friend), or I am rejected the odd time romantically then I feel I take a step back again :(

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      • ellnell

        Taking care of yourself, putting yourself first, liking yourself.
        You can't make self esteem dependent on how other people treat you, the majority of the time their behaviour is merely just a reflection of their own self anyway and has less to do with you. Such as damaged, unsure people bullying others for a temporary sense of power. It's normal to be affected by such things happening though, everyone is, but you should work on yourself - for your own sake - and build enough strength so that it doesn't make you fall apart completely and so that you also attract better people who doesn't ghost you and such.

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        • Okay thanks very much

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  • Jamie_Sulky

    stop being desperate, desperation is not attractive. Just focus on yourself and stop begging for a relationship and it will come. If you see a cute girl strike up a convo, but don't go around with this attitude as if you deserve some hot girlfriend. No one deserves shit. you could earn love but don't expect it to just come twattling over.

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  • magic7

    Love yourself learn how to be a giver not a need freak. Work on your appearance, look, makeup, exercise and make it a point to be friendly. Get a fun hobby and meet people doing the hobby.

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    • I'm always the "giver" that's 99% of my issue where I hardly have any friends or people who want to be there for me or if they are, they end up disappearing some reason. I also am a tom boy femme, I have now shirt hair and an under cut, wear make up and have reasonably nice fashion. The only thing ig I lack is a hobby but hobbies are expensive plus I live day to day!!! Why are things so expensive!! Let's say I wanna take up Archery, its like 150 bucks per year or something. I dont even have enough money to start saving for my next car and no I already work enough and am psychically exhausted.

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      • YE

        You know jogging can be a hobby, and it's charge free. Plus, for some reason I find tomboys intriguing.

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        • I dont wanna jog! Hows that help me meet a women

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          • YE

            You could meet a jogging mate who likes you and you like them, but since you don't want to jog, you can give dating apps a try. As for me, I'm not partnered by choice.

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            • YE

              Sorry I had forgotten that you mentioned you've tried dating sites in vain... my prayers are with you.

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      • magic7

        Guys are attracted to tom boy type women with short hair. Find a femmed subby boy to play with. maybe you are missing out never give up and try to work for a better paying job
        Good luck

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        • Men are attracted to anythign with pulse and shouldn't like lesbians as we dojt like them hence the label LESBIAN

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        • I just said in my POST how to find a gf! Fuck men they're easy and dick thinkers

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        • I dotn like guys

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  • GeekyGold

    Ok read the comments. Maybe it is a personality thing. How about you ask your friends what they think is the reason why you can’t find someone. If you don’t see it then maybe they will. Also ask the people who have known you for years not someone you might have just met. They will have a better judgement.

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    • Well I have a long term friend but I have only met him once, and online we are best of friends. My other friend hes been a long term irl mate of 6 yrs I'd say. So maybe I can ask him, but he also used to like me and hes 38, I'm 26.
      Another Nate, I knew him for about 5 years but he went back into remission I think drugs again as he no lo ger talks to me. So it's hard to get a thorough analysis of moi and what's the potential issue

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  • RoseIsabella

    Are you pushy, or hard to get to know?

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    • Hmmm I dont think I'm hard to.get to know but I guess I can be pushy if people don't make effort amd I make most effort 🤷‍♀️

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      • RoseIsabella

        A lot of people get uncomfortable with someone else is pushy with them.

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        • Well I rarely am.pushy

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          • RoseIsabella

            I don't know what else to tell you.

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            • YE

              You tried your best.

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  • olderdude-xx

    There is a truism that works all over the world.

    "Other people don't care about you - until you show how much you care about them and the world around you."

    I'm so amazed at all the people (of any age) who focus primarily on themselves and their wants and desires... who don't understand why they don't have real friends.

    Get out of the house. Volunteer yourself somewhere - start taking care of others somewhere somehow. You do that, and you start to focus on other people's needs and situation - making the world a better place as best you can... AND you will meet people who want to be your friend - including Ladies who would like to date you.

    In my case it is unlikely that I will ever meet anyone from this site; but, I'm here to try to assist other people - because that is what I do. To get ahead in life - assist more people to get ahead in their lives. It's not a one to one payback; but, it is a general payback. I assist and help here... someone assists me and helps me elsewhere.

    Try it... You are in control of your future; and complaining about it will not help you change it.

    I wish you well with this,

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    • So I'm.to do voluntary work is that it ? I already am very productive and helpful to those in need whether friends and family

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      • olderdude-xx

        A further update: Your volunteer work needs to be long term. No one is going to pay attention to you much if you only work a few weeks. It takes months before you usually start to get noticed and move up in charitable organizations (unless you come in at the upper levels).

        I volunteer judged kayak races for 29 out of 30 years (I had a health issue one year, but at least showed up and watched my local race and stayed in touch).

        My more recent volunteer activity - mentoring people in my area (we meet in person) - is now ongoing 7 years (and I've helped about 30 significantly improve their income, 3 start successful businesses) and numerous others to a lessor extent.

        So stick with it - people will notice (and you will make friends).

        On another issue: You need to learn about personality types. Many books out there. I own and read three different ones: My current favorite is "Positive Personality Profiles" by Robert A Rohm. He worked in the ministry long before he decided to pursue a Ph.D in Communications and the book is written with a number of Judo/Christian biblical references (I personally believe that the book stands on its own without them - but people of those faiths tend to find the references reassuring).

        Understanding personalities is part of people skills.

        Note that there is a recent book out that shows that your personality is not necessarily fixed or permanent. The best base characteristics are retained and growing people improve on other characteristics and noticably change their personality profile scores over the decades. That book is "Personality Isn't Permanent" by Benjamin Hardy. It was just published in June 2020 - and I had it on advanced order so I got one of the 1st copies. Great book (but it helps a lot to understand the base personality concepts 1st).

        I wish you well with this... I believe that you can develop meaningful friendships and find someone who is right for you. But, it often takes time to do that. Patience and effort pays off...

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      • olderdude-xx

        Yes. Let other people know that you are willing and cheerful doing volunteer work to assist others to do better. Get involved in community improvement projects or a cause you believe in.

        It may be uncomfortable for a while - and you will likely have to start with fairly meanial tasks until you prove yourself. But, we all had to start that way. Go out and prove yourself - you can do that. Prove you care.

        Next, develop your people skills - learn how to communicate and get books on how to talk with people:

        The classic is: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. That exist in every major language on earth and the lessons are universal. In the USA/Canada and perhaps elsewhere there is a more modern update How to.... In The Digital Age"

        "Skill With People" and "The Art of Dealing With People" in that order by Les Giblin for those who feel normal sized books are too much (these books are less than 1/4" thick - or about 4 mm thick).

        I wish you well with this.. you can do it...

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        • Okay thank you very much! Howd you have time for all this on top of work and everything in between ?

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          • olderdude-xx

            There is always time for things you consider important. I also waste less time than many watching TV or internet videos, etc.

            PM me if you want to know more...

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            • I'd pm but the dumb site charges

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