Why doesn’t my bf want to have sex with me

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23 Comments

My boyfriend is 19. He currently has a job (so do i) and he loves his job because there’s not as much labor to do as his previous jobs. Weve been together over a year and we did t start having this problem until now. I don’t have the biggest self esteem, as many girls my age don’t have, and when I ask for sex and he always says he is tired it makes me feel like shit. He will ask for a blowjob all day long but as soon as I want sex no he is too tired. I have other friends I’ve talked to about this and they say it’s strange simply bc they sometimes have sex 2 times a day!! I can’t even imagine that. I just seriously feel so bad bc I feel like he doesn’t find me that attractive anymore... I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he just gets defensive.. idek what to do. I’m about to say you just let me know when you get horny enough to want to do something and I’ll be here but I don’t want him to know that I’ll always be there, ya know? P

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Based on 15 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • Lestat565
    5 years ago

    Find another guy. If he won’t talk to you and hear you out then he’s not worth you’re time. He wants a blowjob but is to tired to give you what you need. He’s a selfish prick. There’s plenty of guys that would want to be in a relationship and fuck you good. Don’t settle for this guy that seems more like a child.

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    • RoseIsabella
      5 years ago

      Precisely!

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  • BleedingPain
    5 years ago

    Sounds like he’s gay or not be honest about his sexual desires with you. Give him an ultimatum about being honest and tell him youre only asking him to share why he doesnt want that. After doing so, break up if he doesnt take the ultimatum.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    There’s more fish in the sea. Fuck someone else that you like!

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  • LOLFanProductions
    5 years ago

    He sounds like he's taking advantage of you, stand up for yourself and dump the selfish bastard

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  • bigbudchonga
    5 years ago

    Ask him what he's into, and then say you'll set up a fantasy he really wants so long as he gives you the D.

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  • SwickDinging
    5 years ago

    Him not being able to talk about it is a bad sign in a serious relationship. I would keep trying to talk about it honestly but if he can't then I don't know what to suggest

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  • JustinAnderson
    5 years ago

    Maybe he have any disorder , any disease
    Erectile dysfunction
    Premature ejaculation
    Or some serious disease that he dont wanna share with you

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  • SKDM007
    5 years ago

    i dont think calling the guy a jerk or asshole is appropriate or fair in this situation, i doubt op has even talked to him properly to seek the real reasons, maybe the guy is frigid? maybe he is scared of pregnancies etc? maybe he doesnt know if he will perform well? if you speak to him and he responds harshly then hes probably just using you, but you never know there might be a reason thats valid

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Like the other posters I agree. There’s no reason he should be getting bj’s from you and you get nothing in return. That’s not right, you need to leave him, because he’s a jerk.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    I don't think it's normal, he sounds like a selfish jerk to me. It's not your job to service him like a free prostitute, or something. If he can't give you any intimacy, and physical satisfaction then he doesn't deserve to receive anything from you! Don't worry about his stupid feelings, and whether, or not he gets defensive with you. You are probably better off without his selfish bitch-ass. You don't need someone who uses you, and takes all the time, but doesn't ever give, because it is extremely bad for your self-esteem, and self-respect!

    Tell him to go fuck himself!

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    • TheMightyOz
      5 years ago

      Yes, the six month rule is real isn't it? She will soon realize that she is craving a good bang. Then, she will kick him to the curb with all the anger, rejection, and malicious intent that you are suggesting she use. Well welcome to my world. I hope you can see that when I say my life is pathetic, I have good reason to really mean it.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        This isn't about you, it's about OP. 😐

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        • TheMightyOz
          5 years ago

          I know. It's also about the six month rule. I hope that when the OP reads my comment, she will make a civil and thoughtful break up with this guy. After that, I hope she finds a attentive, empathetic, and caring guy who is sensitive to her sexual needs. It breaks my heart that it could never be me.

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            You're still making this about you. A smart woman wouldn't put up with that guys treatment even once much less six damn months.

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            • TheMightyOz
              5 years ago

              I could not state my good wishes for the OP anymore clearly than I did. Now I can see why you have a quality cat for companionship. It's because you paid money for him. You also deserved every one of your previous losers that you complain about.

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  • aetsen555
    5 years ago

    This is really bad. At age 50 it is okay but you’re 19...
    Talk with him to understand what is missing and if nothing changes it is time to break up.

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    • RoseIsabella
      5 years ago

      It's never okay.

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