Why do women have babies?

Why on earth do women decide to have babies? I was told that as I grew older, I would regret my choice not to have children. But the truth is, as I have got older, past childbearing years, and far from any sort of regret, I am totally relieved I never did! Nor do I "make up for it" by having any friends or relatives with children. I simply have never had children in my life in any way and am glad not to. Not popular, I know.

But I am still interested to know why a woman would want to burden herself with children when she also has to work and having babies causes weight and health issues (my Mum couldn't shift 22 stone because she had children and this caused her major health issues) plus it tied her to the kitchen sink. Ultimately, she was unable to fulfill any personal potential and was made ill and depressed stuck like this to boot! It ruined her life (though she pretended at times it hadn't because she wanted me to have children). I got ill just through the ravages of corrupt medication. God knows what would have happened had I tried to have a family!

I admire women who do juggle such things. But still, I do not understand why women have babies that then grow into noisy children. I can't even stand the noise around babies and children, the mess, the chaos, physically, by body literally just can't... And that's without the rest of it- never getting a minute's peace, stuck in the kitchen, not able to fulfill personal potential etc. Neither could I bear the thought of adding to the strain the earth already is under with overpopulation: my contribution was to not have children to help the earth.

I think women are brainwashed into thinking they "must do it lest they regret any decision." And the social pressures make women think that's their primary role (in an already badly overpopulated world!). Why do it ladies?

Voting Results
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Based on 56 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 63 )
  • dom180

    This may come as something of a shock... but other people have different personal goals to you.

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    • NeuroNeptunian

      Holy shit, dom, you have a lot of crazy ass ideas.

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      • dom180

        Woah, I must have been drunk as fuck when I made that comment. What a silly think it was to say.

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        • throat_cutter

          Personal goals? Nah not really. Youd be surprised at how many unplanned pregnancies occur on the daily. like ALOT.

          world wide.

          every second.

          Its no "miracle" when a baby is born

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  • Shroot

    Because some people want a family...???

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  • 69

    because men insert penises in them

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    • yesnomaybeso

      haha good answer

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  • NeuroNeptunian

    You're insane. If you're too old to have kids you should be old enough to know by now that

    1) Not all women suffer from the same weight problems that your Mom did. My Mom never touched 22 stone, she worked out, lost the weight and was never confined to such health problems. Keeping up your health is a process that requires a healthy lifestyle. Lifestyle. Lifestyle.

    2) Not all women end up in the kitchen for the rest of their lives. My Mom certainly didn't. I know plenty of women who, while sometimes they have a difficult time, continue to fulfill happy and successful lives while raising a family.

    3) Not all women have the same goals as you. Believe it or not, many women hold their status as a Mother as a source of happiness.

    Believe it or not, a lot of women (including myself) enjoy children and see it as a growing experience rather than as a burden. I'm sorry if you have yet to meet a woman who sees it as such but trust me, there are plenty out there. They don't all have babies because they are dumb sluts or brainwashed by society.

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    • On the issue of lifestyle: my Mum was put on severe 300 and 500 calorie diets; she dug the garden, cycled into town or walked. Her problem was hormonal and gall bladder related. Plus all the women in the family ballooned on having children.

      You are right of course that some women enjoy the role and as I have said, I respect women who do it. But health issues that present such problems and occur because of having children cannot be ignored. They damage the woman and the children because the children grow up knowing that they are the cause of them and the severe unhappiness and depression over them.

      And of course, one has to want children! Quite apart from personal opinions about population etc, I grew up never understanding why a woman has to put herself through all that misery whilst also causing her to lose her freedom and creating severe financial hardship. There is no doubt the family was perceived as a burden as were my parents by their's.

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  • EccentricWeird

    Step 1. Think of a country.
    Step 2. Type its name into Google followed by 'fertility rate'.
    Step 3. Note which countries' females are having babies and which aren't.
    Step 4. Direct your complaints more accordingly.

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  • How many more of these anti child/overpopulation posts will there be? Is this one and the same user who's posting this bullshit? Get the fuck out of here and stop complaining about something that you can't change! Women should stop making babies because they're getting fat and unhealthy? REALLY?! You sound like an extremely selfish and superficial woman. And like that one user said, it's other countries that are to blame for overpopulation. Third world countries in which people have no education and give birth to 6 + children. If people would have 2 children at most there would be no overpopulation because 2 people make 2 children so it's balanced.

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    • Nope, never posted on this subject before anywhere.

      But amazing the reflex that a child-free woman is selfish! I know many women with children who are dreadfully selfish and have no thought about the impact they are having on society. The presence or absence of children is no indicator of whether a person is selfish or not.

      Try living with a mother who had high blood pressure, weight issues and depression because she had kids. That's what she told me throughout my childhood. She was in and out of hospital because of it. Hospital visits were a part of the family activities!

      This is not being selfish, it's being realistic. A mother who has these problems because she has had children cannot be psychologically present to her children. A woman like myself, with these genetics would actually be selfish to pass this legacy on. Besides which, one has to actually want children anyway and who would want children when they grow up experiencing the fact the parents were financially and physically burdened by family?

      Quite apart from this and my knowledge of overpopulation, as it happens, my health would not have stood up to pregnancy and childbirth anyway. And as I said, I have no regrets and am actually relieved I never travelled that path!

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    • Dad

      Having 2 children does not balance the population.
      It increases the population by a lot!
      Consider a 20yo couple having 2 babies.
      20 years later, those 2 have two children each.
      20 years later those 4 have two children each.
      20 years later those 8 have two children each.
      Meanwhile the original couple are STILL alive (damn them!) but in a mere 60 years have 16 EXTRA people in the world!
      Now multiple that by the amount of people having babies and you then get BILLIONS extra every few decades!

      Reducing population, means having ONE child only.

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      • Sog

        It takes a mommy and a daddy to make a baby. Maybe you should take a little more time to think about the math behind that.

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        • Dad

          ?

          I happen to love maths.
          I actually didn't think you'd get it.

          Having 2 children is not balancing since each child could then have 2 babies each.
          So the 'population' grows. But anyway whatever.
          Its actually the Adam and Eve type of story (which didn't happen by the way)

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          • You're not taking into consideration the birthrate, death rate, and infertility rate.

            Starvation, disease, infertility, abstinence, and war are factors in population growth.

            Zero population is maintained by 2.8 children/couple. Fact.

            You're way off.

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            • throat_cutter

              Of course these other factors are present. Nonetheless they are heavily OUTWEIGHED by the exponential rate of the multipliers

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    • pantyrose

      Being childfree doesn't mean you're selfish.

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  • RomeoDeMontague

    You really don't know why we have babies? Are you kidding me? Alright I will put this simply. WE HAVE KIDS SO OUR SPECIES DO NOT DIE! THAT IS WHY MEN MAKE SPERM AND WOMEN HAVE EGGS.

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    • SplinterWingz

      Our species is a shitty, selfish, evil, corrupt virus on the planet anyway, who needs more brainless wastes of oxygen when the planet is already struggling due to overpopulation?

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      • RomeoDeMontague

        Than go off yourself and leave the rest of us alone you fucking retard. Its reasonable to say you think people should procreate responsibly but to say you don't understand the point of having a reproductive process is ignorant. So fuck off retard. You can only read so many of these and give a shit. We can all tell that you are trolling. All life forms have a reproductive process. Be them Asexual or not.

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        • charli.m

          This isn't Lesley.

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          • RomeoDeMontague

            Who? I am not aware of who Lesley is.

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            • charli.m

              The one with all the anti population pro adoption etc posts.

              She may be a majority of the accounts that express these views but that doesn't mean no one else has them.

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  • KatieLiz

    Some women love the idea of children, and just because they do doesn't make them inferior to you.
    Besides, any half decent man in this day and age shares domestic responsibilities with his partner.
    I'm 22, I figure that I'll want a kid when I have my career finally set in stone, so around 30. But mark my words I will not be tied to any kitchen sink.

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  • LovelyMay

    Some women want kids, and some don't. Obviously you don't want any, and that's okay! Everyone is different. It would be a strange world if every woman on the planet had kids, wouldn't it? If you change your mind, you can have kids! If you don't want kids, then it's okay not to have kids! ;)

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  • shoot2ill

    It would help to know how old you are. Everyone is different. My mom got pregnant at 18 and got married and had 2 other children. Unfortunately my dad was a monster and was forced to leave when I was around 6. She then had to raise us herself and worked endlessly. She was gone most the time on business. She said that she wished she would have chosen a better man to marry because she wanted nothing more than to be a housewife. She would say "Wouldn't it have been so nice to have me there when you got home from school?" I never replied because that sounds like a nightmare. I loved having no parents around. It was a blast. Having two parents around sounds terrible! But I digress. I don't like babies, but I like children I guess. I would only want to have a kid cause it would be fun to have someone that was mine. Some woman want to be mothers and some woman don't. That's just the way you look at the world.

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  • juniperlei

    well it is normal some people just dont like kids, and some people love to have kids I know my Mom loved having kids around (she did have six >.>) so yeah just depends on what type of person you are

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  • KeddersPrincess

    Some people want to care for children others don't.

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  • Ilovewinter12

    It's fine that you didn't have kids,
    I personally would never have kids either, and I don't like it when people say, "Oh, you'll change your mind!"
    As if they have any control over what I choose to do.

    I don't care if it's considered "selfish" to not want to have kids, but I have many reasons, I know that I wouldn't make a good mother, I'm not exactly motherly, and not to mention I have health problems, and mental issues as well, and I'd rather not put having a baby on top of those issues.

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    • KeddersPrincess

      I hate it when people say it's selfish to not want kids. What's really selfish is to make a child knowing that you are not ready to take care of one. If anything, it's very SELFLESS to not have kids when you know you aren't ready for one because by not having the child you are sparing his well being.

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      • I agree completely...

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    • Yes, I got that one all the time. Well, I never changed my mind! And there were many reasons for choosing not to have children.

      What is selfish of others is when they will ignore any genuine fertility issues and expect a woman to go ahead anyway. I had enough problems that as it turned out, had I tried, I would almost certainly have had frequent miscarriages, stillbirth and likely been very ill or died in childbirth.

      I believe my body knew it was wrong for me to have children and that's at least some of why I didn't want them. But I didn't discover this until long after I had decided anyway and it just came up in the course of some health investigation I was doing...

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  • kelili

    How old are you? 16, 17, 18??

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    • Hannible

      She stated she is too old now to have kids! Dont you read?

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      • kelili

        I have read it but do you really believe that a women of that age would write like that! The post lacks sanity.

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        • throat_cutter

          What do you define as "sanity" at her age

          Please, contribute a reasonable hypothesis as to the social norms dictate you to write

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        • What do you mean "lacks sanity?" There are a lot of experienced facts in that post and several reasons stated as to why I hold these views so this is rather a blanket judgement that in itself, makes no sense! What are you referring to?

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          • kelili

            It's the first impression I've got Ma'am.

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  • AlexBlack

    Because of a hormone "cascade" giving them a good feeling when they have sex with males that make them feel secure, this is because of evolution from single cell asexual organism to multicellular sexual organism. Also it is because of mortality, also pre-determined by the "selfish gene" hormonal programming.

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  • sunnyray

    i consider myself to be somewhat of a badass and kids were never a part of the picture until i met this boy who turned out to be a man. Now i want to give everything to him and share not only our own lives but create something in this world together.

    we're in our early 20s but cut off from family and living together. We're very independant and we're all about working hard. He's at the shipyard in the city 14hrs a day and i work in town. He's very cocky and masculine so sometimes his attitude makes me feel like we're both living HIS life.

    i never wanted a family but we're best friends and lovers and i feel confident enough to still do me and live the life i want while tending to his needs and desires as well.

    so it really depends on your optimism. i could allow his manliness to run our life and i could feed off his finances, lifestyle, and opinions. But i prefer to compete with him and bring my personality and dreams into our life.

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  • Goomats

    Women have babies because they are animals and female animals have babies. All animals come from females having babies. All people come from women having babies. It's nature.

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    • throat_cutter

      why thank you captain obvious thanks for the memo

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      • Goomats

        I am aware that I pointed out the obvious. It seemed that the anonymous poll creator must have over-thought or under-thought the obvious, thus needing clarification and re-introduction.

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        • I would have thought that something this obvious didn't need me to say it in my post and that is why it wasn't said. Obviously, I was wrong!

          My point was that in this day and age, it is choice and not survival necessity because there are way too many humans as against other creatures who have a right to their lives on earth. So in it being a choice, why choose it with all the attendant drawbacks and awful negative social and health implications was my question.

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          • Goomats

            I see that you are looking at it from a more philosophical frame of mind. I still think that while humans can comprehend world populations and ecology, I think that the animalistic desire to shag and reproduce wins out in the end. Hence, my Captain Obvious answer.

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            • Yes and that's what makes the world so crass. Thoughtlessness that threatens everybody with its consequences producing often unwanted or neglected children that contribute to overpopulation and bring in the need for social services and thoughtful folk having to suffer and pick up the tab. And other creatures being made extinct, which is out of order.

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  • Couman

    Immortality of course. Don't you ever read any fantasy books? The quest for immortality has led many men and women to do strange and terrible things.

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  • Energy

    I'm with you on that. If my future wife doesn't want kids I'm totally fine with it. In fact if she does I plan to adopt.

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  • I would like to know how people stand the screeching and chaos- physically as in one's own body able to stand it?

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    • throat_cutter

      Hey. Totally agree with you. Its funny to see that none of the replies have addressed what you mentioned. Its like they tuck it under the rug and dismiss it. Yet none will deny that screeching yelling tantrum throwing kids are annoying and a nuisance, bleah!!

      Kudos for your insight

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      • Thankyou!

        And still nobody has replied yet it's a huge issue in the equation!

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  • Creativeusername29

    My mother had 5 children, she's thin, healthy and happy, your mom probably should never have had children to make them feel they where a burden and that she regretted having you/them, so it's a good thing you never had children either, but it's very normal and natural for men and women to want to have a family.

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  • Valentina

    Because little children are cute and you'll have a family to connect with, spend holidays with and grandkids who'll give you presents and take care of you when you're old and lonely.

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  • westoptic

    Because if they didn't our species would go extinct.

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  • yesnomaybeso

    I love babies

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  • I love my 2 kids but sadly they have deprived me of my goals that I use to have...I agree don't have any

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  • macaroniheyo

    Maybe we like babies.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    Simple. Men can't.

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  • Sog

    For many people, having a children and caring for them gives them a purpose in life. It ensures that they have a legacy. So that when they die, a part of them will still live on in this world.

    I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong if you don't believe in this, or this kind of thing is not important to you. But you asked this question and here is the answer.

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