Why do i feel this way? him and his habits

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4 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years now. But I am becoming more worried and annoyed about some of his habits.
His video games- I hate them, don't know totally why. He hardly ever plays them, but when he does he sure is gone into that world. He would play them a lot more if not for my big mouth i'm sure.
It wouldn't be quite as big of a problem as it is if he were more active, but aside from work (he's a mechanic) he doesn't do much moving. I mean we spend most weekends on the couch watching the tube. It bites, and he gets irritated because I want to go do things all the time and he doesn't.
>it doesn't help much that he is suffering from depression and is addicted to tramadol<
But no matter what I say, he does not want to do things. "Hey babe wanna go for a walk?" "no" "Hey babe, wanna go toss a football or something?" "not right now" "We should walk the dogs" "ya we should" "want to?" "no"
We have no active life
no social life
no sexual life (i think the last time we made love was over a month ago! and thats normal for us :( )
So what do I do?
How do I get him to be more active, I know he needs it. ???
Why do I hate his damned games and how do i get over it???
Help please!
and whats up with the tramadol?

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34% Normal
Based on 29 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • q25t
    11 years ago

    Depending on the types of games you're referring to, you could suggest a bargain. You play some games with him (and you have to put forth some effort) and he'll do something that you want to with you. Give and take.

    The video games could be a kind of release for him as well. I know when I'm feeling depressed, I sometimes turn to them and just lose myself in another world. He could be doing the same. That said, he might enjoy the time spent with you that way or he could find it intrusive so be careful.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams that a guy like this could have a girlfriend. Unless... his dick must be like two feet long!

    ...oh wait you guys said you don't have sex. Well damn then, I'm just baffled at this one.

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    The last two sentences of what forever_anon said is what I suggest. Going out without him isn't as big a deal as if feels. You're not doing anything wrong, It's harmless, and it will show him you're independant and maybe push him to be a little more active himself. Realizing you won't sit around forever and wait for him to do something might be the kick in the pants he needs

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  • forever_anon
    11 years ago

    Substitute "husband" for "boyfriend", and I could've written this post (well, minus the part about the pain meds). My man does the exact same things. I've talked to him about how I wish we'd do more stuff together--besides TV--and make love more often, and he says he'll change, but so far nothing is different.

    I understand why you feel the way you do about the video games. They're taking away time you could be spending together, and maybe you feel like he's rejecting the real world that he lives in with you for a fantasy world of his own. The thing to remember is that the video games are not the enemy. If he has an addictive personality (and it sounds as if he might), then if he wasn't immersed in video games, he'd be fixated on something else. It's his reaction to the games, and not the games themselves, that are at issue.

    Unfortunately, I don't know what to suggest to make your guy more interested in sex. IME, if a man has a low sex drive, there's not much his partner can do to change that; he has to address the underlying physical or psychological issues and take steps to address them. But there might be a way to inspire him to do more activities with you. Next time he says he doesn't want to walk the dogs or go out with you, then go without him, either on your own or with a friend. Eventually, he may realize what he's missing out on and decide to join you.

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