Why do i feel so dirty?

9 Comments

I don’t know why but I always find myself feeling very dirty.
I read smut until 3 AM, and I always get aroused by it. I feel gross with myself especially after going through sexual abuse and stuff like that.
I feel disgusting yet I just can’t stop? I can’t stop looking at all that stuff and it’s like I need it, maybe I’m just being hormonal. But it’s seriously invading my thoughts even at school.

I sometimes think I’m to over sexualized and it worries me. I hate the feeling of being dirty but I’m not so sure? Maybe it’s normal? Maybe it’s not?

If anyone can crack the case and tell me what’s up thank you

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Comments ( 9 )
  • Bailey_Rose
    6 years ago

    For years I repressed a summer where I was sexually abuse by a family friend's much older mentally retarded son. I was a little kid at the time and he was already an adult. I didn't know anything was wrong at the time. Today I have a serious porn addiction. I also think this is what led me to becoming transgender. The only thing I can suggest is some sort of counseling. Good luck to you!

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  • Checkmate_King
    6 years ago

    Sex isn't dirty if it's done properly.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    If you have been sexually abused then your obsession with pornography could be a result of the abuse. Find a good therapist and check out a twelve step program like SAA.

    https://saa-recovery.org/
    https://sca-recovery.org/WP/

    You feel dirty, because you actually have a conscious and a moral compass.

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  • rayb12
    6 years ago

    There's no case. If you're dirty its only from not bathing. Human beings only purpose is to have sex just like everything else in existence. That's how existence works anyways.
    The idea its somehow wrong is just that, an idea, with no evidence it just is to the people who feel that way because they feel that way. It isn't even emphasized in the bible.

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    • Algum
      6 years ago

      There's nothing wrong with being very sexualized when you're young, when I was 18, 19, and 20, my drive was skyrocketing at light speed. My drive has gone down alot since then and isn't that high anymore at age 42. That's normal for a man though, we reach our peak around 19. It's different with women who reach their peak around 30.

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  • TerriAngel
    6 years ago

    We all have things we struggle with.
    overweight people would say exactly what you did.
    but about food.
    smokers, drunks, crackheads, same thing.
    But, in any case.
    Its a choice.
    I wish I could recommend therapy or councelling.
    But, I cant.
    Some have accused me of being a sex addict.
    But, I dont feel dirty about it.
    You might try refocusing your attention.
    find a challenge that takes energy.
    then when you feel the urge, do the activity instead. I.E. running, etc.

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    • sararyan7242
      6 years ago

      Anyone who says "addiction" is a choice, has no clue what they are talking about. Do you think the opiod crisis is based on suddenly people deciding having their doctors get them addicted to opiods was a choice? Many simply followed Doctors orders and got addicted. It is not a choice, period.

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  • redrainbow22
    6 years ago

    Do you feel like your addicted?

    You can change that you know. You may not be addicted, I cant tell you since I'm not you :P

    But if you want to change it, then just change it :)

    Being sex craved though isnt normal. Being social is like a breathe of fresh air.

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  • Dustyair
    6 years ago

    Religious upbringing?

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