Why do i do this?

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9 Comments

I have a big problem with myself.myself. Im 21 and iv never had a real relationship with a guy. Everytime one gets close to me I have to mess it up in some way like being the clingy psycho or excessively worry as to why the wont text back or even have a deep conversation with me.I lose all my dignity for someone who doesn't even give me the time of day .I was recently involved with a guy who lost interest and kept saying he was busy with working life,he wont even talk to me with more than a few words but I just ignore all that and idolise him and expect he will change.I am afraid im going crazy.I need some advice please anyone ?

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56% Normal
Based on 16 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • thedog
    8 years ago

    You hoping to possess that "special someone" to fix all your problems and make you whole. But people aren't actually like that, after you've gotten to know him well enough, you realize he's not the life-fixer you thought he was.

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Just take some time to understand yourself.

    1. You're an over-thinker, so am I, and millions of people out there. I wish I could give you the ultimate cure for it, but all I can tell if you is: It's not always what it seems, and know that most of it is all in your head. When you over think, turn it into a story with different characters, and write it down; it's a good creative outlet and distraction.

    2. It's great you see your faults, so just try to figure out where it stems from. Did you have a good relationship with your parents? Did you ever experience any emotional trauma or abuse? These are all rhetorical questions. Whatever the problem may be, really think about it, confront it, and conquer it to the best of your ability.

    3. Last, but not the least, treat yourself. It sounds like you're always giving 180% to a relationship, that you may not focus on yourself as much as you need to. It's okay to have some autonomy within a relationship, some YOU time. Now is right moment for exploring new hobbies and opportunities, something that you're interested in trying and reward yourself for being so brave in starting something new.

    I hope all this helped, and I wish you all the care in the world.

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  • shuttuppnerddplz
    8 years ago

    Lol change your point of view so why do you need a man and let guys the first in ur life? Change the prioirity and make ur life more constructive.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    8 years ago

    Maybe you were meant to be a lesbian chicken farmer.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Maybe !

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  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    This is why I like to date guys 10 years older than me they have there life together and often know alot better how to treat a lady. If your 21 and dating guys under 25 what you described is going to happen over and over. You also need to find more self esteem so you don't go over board and make a fool of yourself. I know thats alot coming from me cos I'm terible at relatinships but I'm pretty sure that the maturity your looking for can't be found in someone your own age.

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    • Thorolf
      8 years ago

      Basically what you're saying is "only date someone more mature then you are rather then someone close to your own level of maturity."

      :/

      To the OP, try to find someone not obsessed with working and instead go for someone else. You obviously need someone who will show affection and give attention to you.

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      • mysistersshadow
        8 years ago

        No thats not what I said I think your making a assumption about the maturity level of guys. There are plenty of guys that are very driven about work that still know how to be in relationships the work part isn't that much of it. The problem with alot of guys under 25 and even some over is that they are grown up boys not men. Being busy with work often means playing xbox or watching cartoons. Sorry thats not a maturity level I'm prepared to except.

        Tho who knows maybe your experience dating guys has been different? Why not tell us about it unless you actually have no experience in this area.

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  • GreyHulk99
    8 years ago

    um, i think everybody is obessed with someone but usually since theres so many people the odds are our crushes arnt each other, and that in turn effects peoples behavior towards you, for example, the guy you mentioned might be crazy -obessed with your sister and pining over her and consequently not attach significance to your messages and feelings.

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