Why do guys do this?

84% Normal
53 Comments

First off, we never dated. But I had a best guy friend. I mean BEST. He was wonderful and the best person in my life. He would call me multiple times during the day and we would talks for hours. We would stay up in the late hours of the night talking. He would text me to say he loved me. He was always sweet in person too. He always carried my stuff, sweet things like that. But gradually over time, the calls & texts got fewer until they stopped. How could we be so close, then him forget me?

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 87 votes (73 yes)
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Comments ( 53 )
  • Shackleford96
    12 years ago | pl

    Maybe he got tired of chasing after you? This similarly happened to me. I got tired of a girl who I was good friends with because she didn't like me the same way I liked her. It caused me to have much resentment for her as well...

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    • Saycheese
      12 years ago

      I agree with this. ^^

      I myself don't like it when guys do it either when I just want to be friends but neither do they feel right of being rejected in a way.

      Since he told you he loved you he apparently wants to be with you but you won't let that happen. If you just want to be friends just don't lead them on, it wears down then. Which this is exactly what is happening to you.

      But like Frostie said say something to him, it can be rough but if you really do care about him say something. If not then just forget about him and move on.

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    • NeuroNeptunian
      12 years ago

      Agreed. A lot of guys just aren't dumb enough to keep going after a girl when it is quite obvious that they have been friend-zoned.

      Nothing personal, love, but many men just aren't up to fight a losing battle when they know that they could be spending their time finding women that will date them and engage in a romantic relationship with them. To do the opposite would be just irrational.

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      • Shackleford96
        12 years ago

        I chased this girl for three years.

        THREE FUCKING YEARS!!!

        Damn was I stupid...

        Sorry for the foul language, but it still bugs me greatly.

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        • Saycheese
          12 years ago

          Awe... poor Rusty.

          You seem like a sweet guy... I get tired of hearing about all these girls that go for the bad guys. I don't like how they always say don't be a nice guy girls don't go for them. I guess it really is true. I'm even a girl and don't understand the whole thing.

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          12 years ago

          Man, I feel bad for you. She friendzone you?

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          • Shackleford96
            12 years ago

            Yes, she did friendzone me, but she also led me on.

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            • Cheet0
              7 years ago

              HATE THAT... Been there done that, but she then went off and dated a trash bags who hurt her BAD, and guess who was there to comfort her..?

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      • Dancer142
        12 years ago

        But the thing is, he didn't like like me.

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        • Anime7
          12 years ago

          Do you know for sure? If not, then talk to him. See what's going on inside that head of his.

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          • Dancer142
            12 years ago

            I'm afraid to know what he thinks of me. Especially after some of these comments.

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            • Anime7
              12 years ago

              Are you scared to be in a relationship with him? Or are you scared that all this time you were hurting him by not acknowledging his affection? If you've been reading the comments then you should know that talking to him is the best approach. If he really was your best friend then you at least owe it to him to sit down and have a talk.

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            • NeuroNeptunian
              12 years ago

              Was there ever mention of a romantic relationship? Maybe you were expected to make the first move.

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          12 years ago

          What is like like?

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          • Dancer142
            12 years ago

            The wanting of a romantic relationship.

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  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago

    I hate that. Honestly, the first thing that popped into my mind was that some other girl came into the picture. Out with the old, in with the new. :/

    But hey, it realy could be a lot of other reasons too. Maybe he liked you more than a friend at the time, and he realized that with all his 'I love you's' and talking for hours, carrying your stuff, etc, you weren't returning the favors. Or maybe you were? I don't know. But I wouldn't worry too much about it, and if you really wanna know, you should ask him; 'hey, long time no talk. What have you been up to these days? I feel like its been a while and we should catch up'. Something like that. Best wishes! :)

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  • dom180
    12 years ago

    Even if he didn't want a romantic relationship with you (which I do doubt but is possible), friends can still just drift apart. It's sad but it happens. Friends are not for life (almost never), even if it feels like it should be so.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Girls and guys can't be just friends! Period!

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    • Belkar
      12 years ago

      FALSE
      I am good friends with a couple girls, granted I dated one of them for a while before we broke it off, had some distance and then were just good friends.

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    • Aleks85
      12 years ago

      This, why oh why do girls think they can have "guy friends." They don't want to be friends with you they want to be with you/fuck you, ya damn twat.

      Guys are much more compatible with other guys when it comes to pure friendship 99% of the time.

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    • Dancer142
      12 years ago

      Yes, my current best guy friend and I are. I have no question about him. We don't like eachother AT ALL. That's just gross. Just friends.

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  • Valkyrie_Creepr
    12 years ago

    Actually I got a girl on my phone right now who is complaining about the same thing...i used to love but she kept me on the back-burner in case it never worked out with her other bf's. I found out when she took me to prom and complained all night about the other guy...now she has a kid and the same shit is still there...she says she loves me but i am in a commited relationship and can't trust myself around her so i ignore her. Heartless your thinkin? But this is how it is sometimes...

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    • Dancer142
      12 years ago

      No, I don't think you're heartless. I would do the sane thing. But I didn't act like that with him. He was my bestfriend. We were there for eachother. He was my #1 priority. I don't understand hkw this is all my fault.

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      • Valkyrie_Creepr
        12 years ago

        It's not...he is wrong!!!!

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I dont understand why it is so hard a concept for people to accept, heterosexual men and women CANNOT be friends, there will always ALWAYS be sexual tension. You can be friendly, but eventually the friendship fades away alot quicker then male/male or female/female friendships do.

    Unless he was gay he had strong feelings for you, when he saw it going nowhere he stopped bothering with it.

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    • Satchmo
      12 years ago

      I've disagreed with u on things before but I totally agree with u on this people live in denial of what is obvious I made a poll about this and most people think intersex friendships can work but the truth is billy crystal was right in that lame ass movie when Harry met Sally in that one minute he said more than most people will say in a lifetime

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    • Dancer142
      12 years ago

      Guys and girls CAN be just friends. He didn't want me sexually, I know that for an absolute fact. I am pretty sure that he didn't like me, but I'm not sure after some of these comments..

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      • [Old Memory]
        12 years ago

        Well either he did or he was gay.

        Wow I feel so removed from being a teenager, and so relieved at the same time.

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        • Dancer142
          12 years ago

          Lucky.

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      • FizzleBob
        12 years ago

        How do you know for an absolute fact that he didn't want you sexually?

        Not to *over*-generalize, but girls and guys approach relationships differently. He obviously enjoyed spending time with you and talking to you, but it's *extremely rare* for a guy to feel that strongly about a girl and not have a romantic/sexual element to it. I've personally never had a serious girl relationship where there hasn't been an attraction on at least one side of it (usually mine).

        Don't take the comments about his hating you too seriously; the response that a person makes is dependent much more on their personality than anything else, and nobody here but you (presumably) knows this guy. If you care about your relationship with him, you need to talk to him about this, but you also need to be willing to accept the possibility that e liked you but didn't feel you reciprocate and never got up the courage to talk to you about it and just gave up (his fault on this one; I speak from personal experience).

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        • Dancer142
          12 years ago

          Thank you so much! This is wonderful! I needed to hear that!
          I just feel stupid because I didn't realize that he liked me. I just thought we were really close friends. But you have a point when you said that girls and guys approach relationships differently.

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  • ready2rumble
    12 years ago

    like Shackleford96 said above he got tired of chasing you. You knew he liked you, but you just kept him around

    He got tired of it and probably hating you now

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    • Dancer142
      12 years ago

      I knew we were good friends and all, but I didn't think he liked me. If you knew him, you would know what I was talking about. I thought we just had a really close relationship. I never flirted with him, I was just nice. Maybe he took it for something else?

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      • ready2rumble
        12 years ago

        Maybe he was shy and never had the courage to tell you. if not idk, sometimes people just change and hang out with different people, it has happened to me before and is normal.

        Do you have feelings for this guy?

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        • Dancer142
          12 years ago

          ^ You are amazing. That. Just that.
          And honestly, I thought I did sometimes. But I pushed the thought out of my mind because I thought either (a) He would never feel the same way. (b) I was just feeling that way because he was so sweet.

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          • ready2rumble
            12 years ago

            So you liked him! that's lovely.. Chances are he was feeling the same way; Unless he is gay, the only reason a guy is nice and sweet to you (and not to other girls) is because he likes you -or at least is attracted to you-. sometimes guys are too shy to tell you or even admit they do

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            • Dancer142
              12 years ago

              He's 100% straight. Guys are too confusing.

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  • Austalien
    12 years ago

    he obviously wanted something more :)

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    • plum6
      12 years ago

      and he obviously felt friendzoned

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  • Queen_of_darkness16
    12 years ago

    that happen to me,i met this guy on a website and he ask me to text him,after a week of texting back and forth,he just said "I Love You" then long after that he quit texting me.ha.

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  • Dot123
    12 years ago

    Because you didn't put out you stupid idiot!

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  • Frosties
    12 years ago

    If you think you're strong enough to hear the truth from his side, you could always ask him why, and tell him to be honest. I'm not sure I'd recommend it, though. I'm also not sure he'd be honest.

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    • Dancer142
      12 years ago

      Thank you! I don't think I'm strong
      enough for it anyways..

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      • Satchmo
        12 years ago

        I'm sorry how naive can you possibly be I would bet my life savings this guy was in love with you. I don't believe you when you say that you didn't think he liked you on some level you must have known but were in denial. I swear if women were half as naive as they claim to be they wouldn't be successful in any endeavor that required social intelligence. Here's one rule to live by if a guy that doesn't know you approaches you in a bar and talks to you he is trying to sleep with you not be your friend

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