Why cant anyone love me

55% Normal
14 Comments

i have a huge problem...... i cannot find and keep someone to love and love me back. My current, almost ex boyfriend, believes this to be the case because I am incapable. He is the only man I have truly loved and we have been together 14 months. I am 43 he is 54. When we met he was separated from his wife of 30 years, 12 months apart. He was very tactile, demanding of my time and generally smoothered me, but this i liked, for it made me feel loved. Once he was divorced he moved in with me and I thought I had landed in heaven. But now he tells me that we never had a future, he only went with me to make his ex wife jealous and that he could never marry again. He tells me it is time to move on and I am not part of his future. We have had heated and volatile arguments. There has been some aggression on both sides, I used to call it passion but it is in reality abusive. thing is, Im so lonely and have become so dependent on him and what he represented that I feel I will just die inside if he should leave. Its not the first time I have felt to alone but my problem is so severe i cannot function unless I have someone to love.

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 31 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • okayokay
    14 years ago

    he sounds like a terrible, selfish person. it's not you.

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  • titinette
    14 years ago

    Stop this relationship. This man is going to destroy you and you really don't deserve that. There is a lot of gentle men that are waiting for a sweet woman to love them, but this guy is not one of them. Be brave. Show him that you are a strong woman and throw him away.

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  • sonic1754
    12 years ago

    Your really insecure you should see a therapist

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  • atomic-water
    12 years ago

    sikeological warfare is a one thing that can destroy a person without even touching them try it it works

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  • spam
    14 years ago

    love yourself for fucks sake, it's so obvious - no one can love you until you accept yourself (thats my prob) and if you cant lov or accept yourself keep trying or learn to deal with it. youu are a woman - give yourself some credit.

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  • buttintoit
    14 years ago

    Love & respect yourself first then you will only spend your time on loving respectfull people. You have to learn to ask yourself if guys seem too good to be true. If they do, they are. Get financially secure and get out.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    He's used you as a cushion while bailing his marriage. He has no commitment to you. Whatever feelings you have for him are not reciprocated. Don't be a fool.

    Hold your head high, swallow your unrequited passion, and dump this sorry-assed user, loser and abuser.

    You are 43. Not 13. You're a big girl. Don't waste any more of your precious time or dignity on him.

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      PS - its not that you are incapable - he's just blaming you - you are attracting the wrong guys. See a counsellor about it. But dump this trashy guy fast ...

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  • karma_is_bs
    14 years ago

    this guy is an asshole!!!i hope you don't mean you've become financially dependent on him when you said you were dependent on him..what a fuckin LOSER this guy is!!!he moves in to YOUR house and then confesess his true feelings and says it's your fault!!!ooooooo!!!i would scrub my toilet with his fucking tooth brush and then throw all his shit outside!!!HELL NO!!you gotta stand up for yourself girl!!!there are PLENTY of available men that would treat you like you deserve!!i also agree with cline1986.sounds like you definetly need some alone time!!you need to focus on yourself and re-evaluate what you want in a relationship.quit setteling..good luck:)

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    • lilleu
      14 years ago

      Thank you for your reply. I appreciate your frank and honest reply. I think i do need time alone. I am not completely financially dependent on him but obviously things will be harder when he goes, which is in the near future. He has bought himself a house which he says he will live in but visit me twice a week, which i have not agreed to. The relationship is clearly over and I am very upset that he obviously never really had any intention of our relationship being a permanent one. More fool me I know, but I seem to be ruminating over and over about my plight and that no one seems to want me. I think I need to concentrate on finding out who I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. Thank you for taking the time to answer.

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  • amberinboston
    14 years ago

    Lol is it possible for a man in his 50s to have too much sex? Lol

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Get out and have fun. Break up with him. And don't rush into another relationship. Take time off from dating and relationships of that kind. If you follow the advise that I give you, believe me you see what you can do to make the next relationship work for good. And and word of advise when you are in a relationship being togther 24/7 more than always makes a relationship go bad; fast. Too much sex is a no no. Keep him wanting more.

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    • lilleu
      14 years ago

      Thank you, I will take on board what you advise.

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    • Chickwiththehair16
      14 years ago

      I LOVE YEW :3
      i believe its something everyone deserves to hear, even if it is from a strangers.
      Lets you know someone out there in this Hell-like world cares.
      *i love everyone
      :3
      :3
      peace

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