Why are relationships and dating such a hassle?

71% Normal

Alright being a man, I cant help but notice that men have almost all the pressure and all the stress when it comes to relationships. Why is this? Why when an anniversary comes around is it easy for the woman to make a big deal about it, get a great gift, and even (rarely) go giftless themselves without a big deal being made about it. But if the guy forgets about it or gets a lame gift its like the kiss of death. Same thing with birthdays, holidays, etc. And even then, when something goes wrong, who fixes it? Men thats who. I am not complaining about it, just give us credit for doing it, dont act like it was nothing to do.

Why does it seem like this day and age so much is expected of men, but so little is given back? Even being a good looking guy (not arrogant but I am) why is it "creepy" if I talk to a girl randomly? Sure its a little ballsy, but dont women like "confident" men? Isnt this being confident? Its not like I am asking if she has any naked pics of herself. Oh you got a boyfriend/married, my fault no harm no foul right? But not today its like men should have automatically known that. "What a creepy weirdo for talking to me" Yeh okay you nut get over yourself.

I do like being a man, but I wana be a hot woman (Kate Upton/Brooklyn Decker whoever) one day or maybe a week just to experience the attention from the opposite sex. Plus having those big boobs would be kinda fun for a week, thats just between us though.

Voting Results

71% Normal

Based on 65 votes (46 yes)

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Comments ( 30 )

[Old Memory]

11 years ago

I think you're talking to the wrong women then, I'm pretty sure I'm not like that

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Nah you dont seem like that, BUT given your looks it would be understandable if you did get irritated at some guy's and the awkward attention they give.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    LOL my durpy profile pic? yeah I get soo much attention when I'm wasted
    
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NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

You're definitely talking to the wrong women. These women sound like stupid young girls, to be honest with you.

I know that I sure as hell do more for my husband than he does for me for the sake of making our lives easier.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Same for you that I said above to lula. Like word for word.
  
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  - NeuroNeptunian
    
    11 years ago
    
    Ok, well, in response, no it doesn't irritate me.
    It's only irritating when I am trying to do something and he won't leave me the fuck alone, or when he his flirtatiousness is so strong that it affects whatever I am doing at the moment.
    
    A man just talking to me period doesn't bother me. It's just talking, that's stupid. But some women are really superficial like that, which does get annoying to watch. I call that being conceited... assuming that every man that talks to you is trying to get into your pants because you're THAT special...
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Thats what I am saying, and even then when a man makes what could be considered a "move" or a polite date request its like "oh my gosh, it was so weird, he asked me out to dinner" And I am not talking like some weird situation like a 50 yr old guy asking out a 20 yr old or something, if the 50 yr old is dumb (or ballsy) enough to do that you really cant have good expectations, not that I blame them for trying, but I am talking like similar ages, looks, etc....
      
      And then it seems more and more you dont even get polite reactions, or the even the dignity of a "no" what they do is just ignore you like "he will go away" or "I did answer I ignored you" Like seriously? fuck you already, who the hell do you think you are?
      
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      - NeuroNeptunian
        
        11 years ago
        
        "And I am not talking like some weird situation like a 50 yr old guy asking out a 20 yr old or something, if the 50 yr old is dumb (or ballsy) enough to do that you really cant have good expectations"
        
        Oh. Because I really do find that weird.
        I respect persistence, but when I say that I am not interested, that means I am not interested yet I do appreciate the compliment. Call me conceited, but when a man asks me out or expresses interest in me, from my perspective, it's a compliment.
        
        But if he just will not stop, that gets annoying. But that goes for any area in communication.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        Yeh I find the age difference really weird as well. I mean hey go for it I guess, you never know, but you can kinda hedge your bets that the girl is gonna blow you off AND think you are perverted for trying. Especially if you arent a good looking 50 and the 20 yr old is a good looking 20.
        
        At least you respect it as a compliment and dont run away at persistence. I wouldnt even bother with persistence, part of it would be ego, like yeh okay you arent interested? Thats fine BUT I certainly aint gonna bother again. But a bigger part of me is just afraid of looking like a creepy persistant weirdo, like the girl is gonna be like "Leave me alone you psycho!"
        
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Antir0b0t

11 years ago

Look for women who know how to have a relationship. In this day an age women are pressured to be independent and measure up to men. Some prefer 50/50 (like myself) others like it the old fashioned way. Don't label all women when you describe the above behaviors, it doesn't apply to us all. lol

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wigsplitz

11 years ago

I don't give 2 shits about 'romantic' holidays, or any holidays for that matter. Most people I know aren't very hung up on it either. Some, yes, but for those some it goes both ways from what I see, except maybe a couple women I know who are ridiculous.

I really think it's more because of all the damn advertising, people are brainwashed into thinking they deserve a great gift, or for men, that they had BETTER buy something or else. Advertising and sitcoms, there's your problem (well, AND stupidity).

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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  I fucking love you.
  Know what I was looking forward to this Valentines Day? The day AFTER Valentine's Day, when all of the chocolate goes on sale, half off the good stuff!
  
  I can have chocolate and hot sex any day of the year, so why does it have to be Valentine's Day? And I know very few people that actually care about it. Romantic holidays are purely for the sake of marketing, in my opinion.
  
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  - wigsplitz
    
    11 years ago
    
    lol!! Well I love you too!!
    
    I love the day-after sales as well!! I stock right up!! And you know, that just reinforces my views on the subject-to see something that was $5 or $10 and up one day and then the next day it's like they're trying to GIVE it away....I mean, come on!! Or how roses cost like 1000% more right around Valentines....stupid, stupid, stupid!!
    
    I'm always extremely happy to get the random "I saw this and thought of you" gift every once in a while, I do the same for my husband whenever I happen upon something that just screams 'him'. I don't ever expect it, neither does he, it's just a nice surprise once in a while whenever you see that one item that you know they'd just love. If my husband ever bought me any typical gift I'd kill him anyway! I actually had to un-brainwash him regarding this crap when we first got together.
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Advertising is a very good guess. I like to constantly blame reality TV and movies as well, but I think advertising is an even more logical target.
  
  I just dont understand it today, why cant people be happy in a simple way?? I mean what the fuck is so wrong with companionship? This day and age its like "Well the Smiths went on a romantic ski trip to the Swiss Alps, so where are we going? it better be good or else"
  
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  - wigsplitz
    
    11 years ago
    
    Yeah, it's sad that people can't just be happy. I agree. I guess maybe it's because I'm older that I know more people who don't make a big deal over this stuff. Thinking back, when I was in HS and a lot younger, I and a lot of people I knew were more into the whole flowers and candy crap, but for different reasons. As a teenager, it's more of the 'first love' or 'secret admirer' crap. I can't understand why older adults go so nuts over it.
    
    What's the meaning behind a 'forced' gift anyway? No thanks!!
    
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dejaentendu!

11 years ago

I get it, I do.
I've seen relationships around me and I think guys go through a lot of shit. I mean women do too, don't get me wrong, but it's more acceptable when a girl does it apparently.
I'm a girl but I think it's sickening, and really, like all men aren't assholes, all women aren't like that either. It's just really annoying never finding genuinely intelligent individuals, male or female.

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Corleone

11 years ago

Talking to random women on the street isn't creepy, as long as you don't do it in a creepy way. :p

No really, you keep doing that. Being good at talking to strangers is a valuable skill.

As for men putting more effort in a relationship than women... it's common, that's for sure. But it doesn't have to be like that for you.

If a girl does or says something which you find unacceptable, let her know what you think of that. Tell her calmly if something about her behavior is bothering you.

This might sound obvious, but a lot of guys don't do that. They just get walked over, day by day, until they reach their boiling point. Either that, or they vent their frustrations by cheating on their partner. (which isn't exactly a healthy solution, of course)

If you do something that's bothering your girlfriend, you want her to tell you too, right? I'm not a relationship counselor or anything, but to me, this seems like the right solution.

Hope this helps. Long texts ftw!!

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Ldizzy1234

11 years ago

Well, I have to agree with wigsplitz. I don't really care if I don't get a gift on Valentines Day or whatever. And I think they build those things up so much on tv, that people begin to make such a big deal out of it in their real lives.

But I think whats happening with you, is that you're just approaching the wrong women. I mean, I don't think its that you're really doing something/anything wrong, but that some women are just bitches. And I don't think it has much to do with the hotter the girl is the bitchier, or the uglier the girl is, the nicer, because I've seen sweet pretty girls, and rude ugly girls. Its just that some women are real snobs who have huge egos. Whereas, other women don't automatically jump to conclusions when a man is initiating a conversation with them.

And I know this might sound a little weird, but I've noticed that the more confident a woman is, the more snobbish she can be towards the opposite sex. That is, if the opposite sex approaches them, they usually are the ones jumping to conclusions thinking; "oh, this perv is probably talking to me because he wants to have sex with me." Instead of the sweet girl who has low self esteem, would think, "Oh, he seems nice. He probably just wants to talk, no biggie." not really thinking so far ahead after one small conversation.

I don't know. I don't understand why some women are the way they are. And I'm kind of assuming what I said didn't really help you too much, because I honestly wonder the same thing. I'm sorry you and a lot of other nice guys have to go through that nonsense that some girls pull.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I've noticed the hot ones usually have little or nothing in general to offer once you get past the stylish clothes (that fit perfectly) and the makeup and the other bullshit they paint themselves up with. Its almost as if they subconsciously know that their looks are their best asset they have to offer so they do it in a way that its all you will notice. I also agree with what you said regarding confident women as well.
  
  I will be honest I dont think the sweet girl has low self esteem, I just think they are a nice person, BUT to me it seems like today its not "cool" to be nice like that. Women are like encouraged to be standoffish. I mean I am a guy I would be lying if I said I wasnt thinking a little of how this women looks naked BUT it doesnt mean I am talking to her on the hopes we can get a hourly rate on a hotel room after a couple drinks.
  
  More and more I dont even bother, the women I would physically be attracted (as I am in good shape and attractive myself) to would almost totally blow me off it seems even if they were single and interested like its the cool thing to do. Besides above and beyond that, what is gonna separate me from the other 4 guys (or more) that tried talking to them that day. Its just like fuck it.
  
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  - Ldizzy1234
    
    11 years ago
    
    Yeah, you're right. And while reading my comment over, I was wrong to say that nice girls have low self esteem. I wasn't really thinking when I said that, I guess. But I must say, I have noticed the same thing that you've noticed with the girls who wear the latest trends, and globs of makeup. Not all of them, but most of them, sometimes don't seem like relationship material, or even that smart to be quite honest.
    
    However, I wouldn't say girls are encouraged to be standoffish, but I feel like when they're young they're told how to behave around the opposite sex(usually when they're pre-teens/teens), and to learn how to stand their ground. But then I also feel like they hold on to that thought as they enter into their late teens into their 20's, and take it to a whole different level when they're older. It almost seems like they make the men out to be like animals. But then another part of me is thinking maybe they're just very bitter women.
    
    And you have a point about people feeling like they can't be nice. Sadly, that might be so. I was actually told by another girl that I'm too nice to guys. She told me that it makes it easier for them to take advantage. Maybe they're just guarding themselves, thinking that they're gonna get walked all over. Chances are its happened before, and they're carrying it forward as a lesson learned. It just sucks that the nice guys who approach them later have to take the blame for the acts that the asshole did before them. I think its pure bitterness that most women have, so they hold up walls afraid to let new people in. Its pathetic, but I don't know what to really tell you, but I wouldn't give up if I were you. Most people, if they do find you attractive, and they like you, they won't turn you away. I think you're just getting caught up with the wrong women. The one you'll find, you probably will have to do little to no work on. You won't even have to try. I think the women you approach almost sound like high maintenanced bitches, or at least they 'think' they are. Like they're too good for you. Psh... forget them. You'll get someone. Best wishes! :)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      I would encourage girls to stand their ground myself if I had a daughter, what I was referring to isnt like what parents would teach a child to protect themselves, its more like what its "cool" to do now. You now, if a guy approaches you dont be overly nice to him, its cool to be more of a bitch, he will like it more. Its almost like guy's that will swear that they get more action by being assholes instead of being nice. And then on top of all that I have seen guys that are assholes that women find attractive for some reason, usually its the women I wouldnt want to be bothered with anyway since its the painted up ones we talked about earlier. But still, I mean whats the attraction to that crap, especially when that guy turns around and cheats most of the time, or they just cheat on each other. Like God he is so sexy! No he isnt and he isnt even confident, he is just a jerkoff. You cant tell the difference?? I mean even the better girls who wouldnt be like that are attracted to these guys, and then turn around with some kinda attitude like "you want a date with me? make sure you bring your checkbook" Like wtf? Sure thing your majesty. I cant help but think most of them deserve the jerkoffs, like it serves you right anyway. What did you think that guy was confident and sexy?? You couldnt see he was just an asshole?
      
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      - Ldizzy1234
        
        11 years ago
        
        I understand. But I wonder why all the time too. Like, why is it that some girls feel like being nice is a crime? Why is it that some guys find it easier to get the girl by being a dick? Why do nice girls go after assholes? Why do good guys go for the sluts who walk around with fake tans, mini skirts, and wear pounds of makeup? Why???? I don't know why. Nobody knows why. We're all asking ourselves these questions everytime we fall.
        
        And seriously, with the way society is today, I wouldn't be suprised if people actually think its cool to be standoffish. And thats when you need to find the one who stands apart from the rest. The one who doesn't follow everyone else. I honestly feel like it has to do with the person. If they wanna go off acting like a bitch or an asshole just because they think thats the best way to get what they want, or b/c they feel more accepted by other people, then thats how they are. Followers. You've been coming across the wrong people, because I know it might seem like everybody is like this, but really theres some who just aren't. I know I'm not like this, and I'm overlooked not all the time, but have been before by some of the guys I've taken a liking to. I was pretty much pushed aside when some bitch in 4inch heels and a skin tight dress came like a tornado into my life. She totally snatched the guy I wanted, and it destroyed me. Trust me, it happens to many of us. And I do wish I knew why. However, I still think that a lot of these women are probably bitter from past heartbreak, and have their guard up. Although it still isn't right for them to give such an attitude. Its gotta be from some kind of bad past experience that made them this way. It must be.
        
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  - NeuroNeptunian
    
    11 years ago
    
    v.v So I guess wearing heavy make-up and dressing fashionably and "painting yourself up" is what is required to be hot. I knew everyone that told me that I was hot was lying. Better go break the news. My husband should be ashamed for not marrying the Covergirl.
    
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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  Being confident does not make a woman think that every man wishes to date her when he talks to him (y'know, because she is the Goddess of Beauty), it's conceit. And a woman doesn't have to have low-self esteem to be cool with men talking to her. Generally it's the women who go through men like playing cards and think that every man wants to get in through their pants to their Goddess-like vagina that has low self-esteem, otherwise they wouldn't assume poorly of people.
  
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Miss.Curious

11 years ago

no offense to the two comments above me but we all know they are full of shit! You are totally right about how women act. I am a 25 year old woman who is well above average in the looks department, also like you..not arrogant but I know I am.. I have actually been told I look somewhat like miss upton. anyways I had a boyfriend for 5 years and anytime he forgot our anniversary I would flip shit. I wouldn't actually tell him "hey you as* you forgot what today is" No, I would just be pissy and give him the cold shoulder until he finally figured it out on his own. Now that I'm single and older/wiser I have realized that I was just insecure in our relationship. I have not entered a new relationship yet so I'm unsure of how I will act during the next round but I can tell you, I'm almost positive that I would still get annoyed with my guy for forgetting. On another note, when it came to gifts I never cared as much for that but always felt extremely appreciated when my guy got me a card and wrote a short sweet message. Most woman need constant reminders that they are loved and that is it... so it has little to do with the gifts and more to do with the words and actions. keep that in mind and I think you'll get a better reaction .. oh and about the "creepster status" just for talking to women well you need to know that woman are bit*hes, Even when I try making friends with a female near my age she gives me the cold shoulder and looks at me like I'm some crazed lesbian.. I say F her and the cow she rode in on.

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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  I don't even remember my anniversary. I'd have to ask HIM. And if he didn't remember, well, we have a marriage certificate somewhere. It's not a big deal to me, it may sound like I am full of shit but honestly? I don't even care much to celebrate my own birthday unless someone else wants to. I have things that I must place on a higher priority than that and so does he. We're busy people.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Thank you for admitting it AND giving me a real response without sounding like a stuck up bitch at the same time. I can understand the annoyance at the date being forgotten, what I dont understand is how the day has become basically a day for women, when its supposed to be an "our" day thing? The little things are understandable, like a nice card with something sweet from the heart, but why does something like that have to be constant? And when I say constant I mean like every week or some shit. I can easily do something like that every month and not have a problem with it or expect anything back in return. What I am saying is isnt it mostly enough I am here, being loyal, not womanizing, not out drinking, not gambling our finances away?? You know dumb shit like that.
  
  I also dont understand how some women have to cause some kinda drama or something in a relationship when everything has been going smoothly, its like well its been good for 3 weeks, time for a small fight, and its about some stupid shit like the microwave being dirty after I used it or whatever. I mean what the fuck already? If she used it and it got dirty and I had to use it next I would just clean it, why bust balls over something so stupid??
  
  The making friends thing I understand, if you look like what you said, which I would bet you do, then that woman or women are jealous, plain and simple.
  
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Why are relationships and dating such a hassle?