Who suffers more?

26 Comments

Person A wants to have sex with his/her partner. His/her partner does not want to have sex with A, so A is refused and feels sexually frustrated. A´s desire for sex with his/her partner will continue, A still wants to have sex and A´s desire will not be fulfilled until A can have sex with his/her partner (maybe after a few hours, maybe after a few days or more, A does not know when his/her partner will accept his sexual advances).

Person B does not want to have sex with with his/her partner. B´s partner wants to have sex with B and B has sex with his/her partner in spite of the fact the B is not in the mood for sex and B feels no pleasure. The sexual activity lasts for some time (less than an hour, maybe 5, maybe 25 minutes). B adopted the "just do it" approach, the sex was not source of pleasure for B, but it did not lead to any physical pain.

Which of them - person A or person B - suffers more? In other words: whose pain is worse? Whose situation seems worse to you?

I am male : Person A suffers more	7
I am male: Person B suffers more	1
I am male: Neither A nor B suffers	0
I am male: A and B suffer equally	1
I am female: Person A suffers more	6
I am female: Person B suffers more	4
I am female: Neither A nor B suffers	0
I am female: A and B suffer equally	2

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Comments ( 26 )

suckonthis9

11 years ago

There is always a chance that an 'ab' will be born, in which case the female will feel more pain, but the male will suffer!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  True. Thanks for upgrading it to the next level:) It makes a solid basis for a good horror movie.
  
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Jeaneathean

11 years ago

This is a brilliant question.

Not having sex when you want it, I would say, but it is a close call.

I can always 'put up' with sex if not in the mood.

Different for blokes?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I can just give my personal answer (I´m male) and I would agree with you - not having sex is worse for me, having sex when not in the mood is perfectly OK for me. I know that for men there is this thing with erections and it is not possible to have sexual intercourse without it but still it is possible to do something that will awake the erection or we can have other forms of sex without penetration (e.g. oral, manual etc) and this is not so difficult. But anyway, let´s wait for more votes in the poll so that we can compare the votes of men and women here.
  
  Thanks for commenting and sharing your perspective.
  
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  - Jeaneathean
    
    11 years ago
    
    Sorry my initial response seemed so combative. I am interested to see how this develops.
    
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howaminotmyself

11 years ago

As a female I think being sexually frustrated is worse than having sex when not in the mood. There is always a chance I will enjoy it once we get started. But I also want to please my partner and hope he does the same in return when I am feeling frustrated.

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Jeaneathean

11 years ago

What you on about?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I thought that it might be difficult to understand for some people here. So to simplify it: what is worse - not having sex when you want it (the case of person A) or having sex when you aren´t in the mood (the case of person B)?
  I hope I clarified it a bit.
  
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SouthGuy81

11 years ago

Why do girlfriends get annoyed if your in the mood and they're not. They call you a perv and say you're only interested in one thing. But if they're in the mood and you're not they get annoyed again and say that you don't find them attractive or make you feel like you're not living up to your manly duties.

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SouthGuy81

11 years ago

The real challenge is getting B and C in the mood at the same time.

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quentari

11 years ago

A suffers more, because any GOOD partner would get B in the mood, not just say "HAVE SEX WITH ME I'M WAITING".

You should know what your partner likes, I get my partner in the mood by sneakily giving him head :3

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- SouthGuy81
  
  11 years ago
  
  A friend of mine sneakily fingered a girl and he got 6 months in prison... sounds rape-y...
  How do you sneakily fellate someone?
  
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  - quentari
    
    11 years ago
    
    I suppose the difference is I've been with my partner for 3 years, we're engaged and I'm not all that sneaky?
    
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    - SouthGuy81
      
      11 years ago
      
      Yeah, I was only joking. Didn't think it realy sounded rape-ey. And none of my friends got six months.
      It's hard to have a dry sence of humour in type...
      
      The truth is though, that a woman could get away with sneakily fellating a stranger simply because verry few men would mind since they work on a much more physical level than women who generally are emotional and selective.
      For instance, one night I was so drunk I could barely hold my head up and a woman sat next to me and went in for the kiss. After about a minute of kissing I pulled away to see an absolute monster. The other way round would of created big problems but I didn't care. I got an easy lay and a story out of it.
      
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      - quentari
        
        11 years ago
        
        Lol that is very true. I mean, some women do sleep around as much as men but you're right, they do seem to be more fussy about looks and such then some men are.
        
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        To the first paragraph of your reply, please keep your own rule: "Every one knows what they are trying to say no matter how convoluted they're being. Where as it takes intelligence to vocalise an internal thort in a clear and precise way. You failed."
        
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        SouthGuy81
        
        11 years ago
        
        Look, it wasn't suposed to be a big deal. I just thort that the way you summed it up for all those people that lack your awesome ability to think in abstract terms was a lot clearer. Although it did sound condescending the way you said it. Blaming it on people's inability to understand rather than your bad writing choice.
        
        Although I knew what you were getting at, I also thort it sounded over complicated. After saying that it was complicated I gave a sensible answer. It was suposed to be constructive criticism. You even admitted that, you thort people would struggle with it.
        Why would you post something, knowing it was badly written and that some people would struggle with it and then get annoyed?
        
        Also I'd have thort someone as smart as you would know what convoluted meant! Not conveying sarcasm in text does not make something unnecessarily complicated. Besides I didn't get all condescending or act like a child and say, any one that didn't know I was joking lacked my awesome ability to think in sarcastic terms.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  But in your other posts you often write that you have to masturbate quite often if he is not in the mood. So why do you not just get him into the mood when you are in the mood and he is not? Might it be that you are not a GOOD partner if you cannot get him in the mood and you have to masturbate instead of having sex with him? Or is it caused by the fact that you have completely different levels of sexual desire and you cannot get him in the mood even if you try and then your previous comment makes little sense?
  
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  - quentari
    
    11 years ago
    
    Sometimes he tells me that he isn't in the mood and the way he says it suggests no amount of being sneaky will fix it. He's also often very tired and falls asleep at like 9:30, I don't try to get him in the mood when he's that tired because he works hard and gets up early and is likely to fall asleep during head.
    
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little_freak

11 years ago

Again with this retarded "person A - person B" thing... Come on, this is so stupid! Just make up 2 names, or simply don't use any names but just say "my boyfriend" or "my girlfriend", or what-effing-ever! Don't be so retardedly paranoid please.

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- Naamah
  
  11 years ago
  
  Obviously, there are people who have difficulties with abstract thinking and some of them even believe that is is a virtue to completely lack these abilities...
  I think that in this case, it is you who is "retardedly paranoid". I've seen "person A - person B" used in another thread and it seemed quite ridiculous but that was a completely different case which isn't comparable with this poll at all! It is a huge difference if it is used in theoretical questions like this one or in threads which describe OP's personal problems which they have experienced (such as quarrels) but the want to hide their OWN gender. I don't like "politically correct" expressions when they are used at all costs by feminists or whoever but I think that this poll is a completely different case and has nothing to do with such shit as it is focused on a theoretical problem in which it is quite appropriate. Firstly, people who like thinking about abstract problems often use abstract expressions so it seems quite natural for people with such tendencies. Secondly, it would sound weird with some names in a question which is formulated as a theoretical problem. As it is not formulated as a personal problem, it is quite understandable that there is no GF or BF. Maybe the author of this poll just wanted voters to identify with person A / B on the basis of their sex drive and their usual reactions when it comes to sex and not on the basis of their gender. You know, some female users on IIN tend to identify with a woman no matter what and blame the male no matter what so sometimes, it makes sense to use abstract terms in questions like this one.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Sorry that I have exhausted your retarded brain by making you think in abstract terms. Fortunately not everyone is as retarded as you and they can understand it even if there are no names. Don´t be so retardedly stupid to expect that I will adjust my polls to your poor mental abilities. If you cannot understand it, just skip it and read something with names or with pictures if that is the only way your brain can feel comfortable.
  
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  - SouthGuy81
    
    11 years ago
    
    Every one knows what they are trying to say no matter how convoluted they're being. Where as it takes intelligence to vocalise an internal thort in a clear and precise way. You failed.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Could you please specify what was unclear to you?
      
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      - SouthGuy81
        
        11 years ago
        
        You admitted your self that you thort people would struggle to understand so you already know. You then asked the question in a much simpler way showing that if you'd spent a little time thinking about how to phrase the question in the first place it could of sounded a lot simpler.
        
        The simplest way is always the best, especially when posting something that will be read by people with varying levels of intelligence. We can't all be abstract thinking, super genius's like your self...
        
        For what it's worth, the question was a good one and I did make some comments other than those about your phrasing.
        
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SouthGuy81

11 years ago

You made that question sound a lot more complicated than it needed to.

When I'm in a relationship I like a woman who is iether comfortable with me masturbating if and when she's not in the mood or is ok with just giving me a polite hand job. Obviously I wouldn't just wank in the bed next to her, I'd just get up and stick babestation on for five minutes. But if I forget to flick back to a clean Chanel and she's switches the TV on in the morning instantly knows what I was doing the night before, I don't expect her to throw a hissy fit.

If I'm not in the mood, unless I'm ill with flu, it doesn't normally take much to change the situation.

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Are You Normal?

Who suffers more?