Who's the abnormal one here? my friend or i? monetary-wise.

I began writing this on YahooAnswers but nobody ever reads everything there.

So I have this friend. We have many similar interests, and she's overall an amazing friend with an outright lovely personality. But there's one thing about her that always bothers me - she is not willing to spend huge amounts of money on anything.

I mean, I know she's not poor, I've been to her house a few times and there's a LOT of stuff in there. She's the same age as me and she makes $100 a week. That's good for our age group, I'd say! But like...

She's so conserving of her money. Literally she won't buy ANYTHING expensive. One thing that bothered me was when we went to an anime convention a few months ago. We both bought a pair of kitty ears (weeaboos, I know, I know). The ones I got were more expensive but, they were better quality.

THEN her cosplay. She pretty much used whatever she could. Her cosplay could've been SO much better but she never bought this simple item (which she claimed she'd even use on a daily basis) that was $30.

I mean, it seems to me like she'll only use enough to JUST get by, but her family doesn't seem to be having money issues. They have a lot of electronics and all are pretty techy.

Personally I think it stems from the family. Not that there's anything wrong with this, but they always buy the food from stores that says, "Great Value". As I said, NOTHING wrong with that, but I don't know, it just bothers me.

And no, she is by NO means cheap! She's offered to help me with costuming funds but naturally I didn't even consider the offer. I mean, she just won't buy quality stuff for HERSELF. I don't get it. Is she trying to be smart with her money? Because in my eyes it seems like she can't link quality and cost.

I plan on buying something for her birthday, though, something good. Once she went online to shop for a "kawaii" kitty hood (yes, we are extremely weeaboo, just be glad we don't want to visit Japan/learn the language). She found one she wanted for $20. TWENTY MOTHAFUCKIN' dollars and she wouldn't buy it. She was like,
-"But I saw the price and I was like hell no!"
-"Things like that from Japan are costly..."

That was last year. I have never spoken to her about this. She's very smart and gets like, Straight A's but it just really bothers me. What're your opinions on this? Am I the crazy one for buying things I REALLY want, no matter the cost? Or is she, for not spending excessive amounts of money on the things she REALLY wants?

Also note, I don't go spending wildly like some madman. Though the things I want tend to be more expensive, I save up my money and wait before purchasing, to make sure I'm not just lusting after the item(s).

TL;DR: I'm willing to pay $100 for a pair of shoes, my friend won't buy a hat she wants for $25.

You're crazy, who do you think you are, Bill Gates?	17
She's crazy, if she has so much money, why is she saving it?	2
Other (comment)	14

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Comments ( 19 )

Captain_Kegstand

11 years ago

You have two different outlooks on financing. Neither one of you are crazy, you just enjoy having the finer things, whereas she prefers to enjoy having a little money put away!

My last relationship was exactly the same, I have always been pretty frugal with things for myself, and she LOVED having nice things. Financially we were a pretty good match in that area.

Also, you must either be quite young, or in another part of the world from me. I could never live off of $100 a week!

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loveechelle

11 years ago

Well u buy her things, if it bothers you so much...

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AssBurgers

11 years ago

Well, I actually read it all...tbh it made me want to punch you in the gooch.

I really don't get why you're so worked up about this...seriously bro, get over it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Not worked up, it just puzzles me. 凸ಠ_ಠ凸
  
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  - AssBurgers
    
    11 years ago
    
    Puzzled enough to write a short story on it? =/
    
    t(>.<t)you, kiss my (_|_)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Of course? :B
      
      You want me to kiss your parenthesis underscore vertical bar other underscore and other parenthesis?
      
      Challenge accepted.
      
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      - AssBurgers
        
        11 years ago
        
        LMAO.
        
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BettyBoobs

11 years ago

Sorry for the sarcasm, i didn't mean to take the piss. :)

Speak to her if you think she's too nice to others and not enough to herself. But maybe making people happy is what really makes her happy. It's ok too, isn't?

Are you sure she can't? Or is it just when it's for herself? Does she buy quality stuff when it's for her friends?

Anyway, if you're worried about her, i think you should try and tell her nicely.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Careful where you piss.
  
  It's fine that she's nice to others and it makes her happy, but WHAT is wrong with ME wanting her to treat herself nicely sometimes?
  
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  - BettyBoobs
    
    11 years ago
    
    I don't know you or that girl but to me, what's wrong with you is that you seem to be unable to understand she might find happiness somewhere else than in buying herself expensive things.
    I don't get what you find so hard to understand.
    
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BettyBoobs

11 years ago

I don't understand why you get so bothered about this.
But anyway, i guess she isn't as passionate as you are about all the kawaiiry and doesn't see the point in buying expensive things which are not worth it in her opinion.
She'll probably find something she considers worth spending money in one day. Or not.
Good luck with this deep issue :D

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  It bothers me because she, as I've said,
  1.Doesn't buy anything nice for herself (but she does for others)
  and
  2.She can't differentiate quality and cost.
  
  And man, no need for the sarcasm, thar. Is there a law that says everything posted on this website, the internet for that matter, has to be a, "deep issue"?
  
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GuessWho

11 years ago

No-one is gonna read everything here either if you make it that long.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Some people do o:
  
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NerdyChickFTW

11 years ago

She's conservative. There's no problem with that.

Did you ever stop to think, what would happen if all your money went away and you were left with nothing? You'd be so used to buying everything you wanted, that you would be completely devastated.

Your friend, on the other hand, might actually be thinking this way. Maybe she wants to be used to not spending so much money, in case the aforementioned were to happen to her.

Or maybe, she is saving up the money she gets now to use later in life. It might not seem like much, but money is money when you get to a certain age.

On another note, maybe she and her family grew up in a low-middle class setting, and they are just naturally conservative with their purchases.

There are so many possibilities. Why don't you ask her, instead of coming to IIN? We obviously don't know her side of the story, but I think that willingness you have to just blow your money on anything you want is going to cost you in the future.

You're obviously young, and you don't exactly know everything it means to be financially stable, so you get money, and then just spend it wherever you see fit. And that's okay, right now.

But once you're an adult, you have to become more responsible with your finances. You may not be able to go out and buy that expensive pair of shoes you've been eyeing for a while. Instead, you'd be out paying your bills, or buying those "Great Value" groceries that seem to bother you, merely to get by. You might live paycheck-to-paycheck. And once reality hits you, you'll see that a single dollar can stretch farther than you think.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Did you not read it fully? Before I make a purchase I think on it. I don't see something and go, 'OMG I JUST HAVE TO HAVE THIS', no. I think. I even wait up to months to decide how badly I want it. Some things I can't handle, either. Maintenance-wise.
  
  And I can come to IIN if I want to. There's no problem, is there? Why ask why I chose to come to an online website and talk about my thoughts and have others' commentary? People do it all the time.
  
  I don't think you fully understand, to be honest. The POINT is that she buys cheap stuff, but it's usually shitty quality. And I don't mean food, her family has enough of that clearly.
  
  When she buys luxury goods like that costume item, she bought the cheap one, BUT it was low quality. I'm just curious why she won't, once in a while, buy stuff that she enjoys.
  
  Her family has a lot of money, TRUST me. I don't buy everything I want because I can't. I save up and count. She has more money than my family and as I said, I just wonder why.
  
  If you'd hear her talk, you'd be able to tell that she simply CANNOT link quality and cost.
  
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  - NerdyChickFTW
    
    11 years ago
    
    First off, I DID read it fully. And okay, I may have forgotten about the part that said "I don't go spending wildly like a madman." MY BAD. I apologize.
    
    Coming to IIN without her opinion on the matter doesn't give us the full story. We can clearly see your side of the story, but hers is completely left out, other than knowing her family is wealthy. I should have said, "Maybe you could have gotten her side, then came to IIN."
    
    And you're right, I don't fully understand. Because you left out how she feels about it.
    
    And what's wrong with saving your money? Why does it bother you so much? It's her money, and she can do what she wants with it. Is it really that big of a deal to you?
    
    You say you wonder why she won't buy the more expensive items now and then. Well, we can't really answer that for you. It's something she has to answer, if you'd be more willing to ask.
    
    And if it's true, that she really can't link quality and cost, why is that so?
    
    This all comes down to asking her why she is so unwilling to spend large amounts of money on herself.
    
    Maybe spending too much money on herself makes her feel selfish, because you even said she offered to help you buy your costume apparel.
    
    I wasn't trying to make you upset, but it seems like I did. I'm sorry.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      You didn't upset me, I'm just bothered that nobody seems to have gotten the key point - she cannot link quality and cost.
      
      I truly DO NOT THINK she understands quality comes with a price.
      
      For example, what would you take of something? Generally people prefer quality over quantity. Say if we were trading something. You have a limited edition Backstreet Boys t-shirt, and I offer you over 9000 Nicki Minaj shirts (for the sake of this example, I'm implying Nicki Minaj sucks).
      
      I personally feel it's all about quality. I never said there's anything wrong with saving money, hell I do it all the time. How else do you think I'd be able to afford the things I do?
      
      The reason I never got her side is because well, I don't know, to be honest. I'd just wish she'd get what she wants once in a while. She's really sweet.
      
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      - NerdyChickFTW
        
        11 years ago
        
        From your perspective, she sounds like a sweet girl. And if you would really like to know why she prefers low quality items, it would be best to ask her. That's pretty much my entire point of commenting, and my opinion on the matter, Bill Gates. :P
        
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Are You Normal?

Who's the abnormal one here? my friend or i? monetary-wise.