Who do you respect more?

7 Comments

I'm going through some decisions right now in terms of dealing with people. It has to do with not letting others get to you and walk away because that's the right thing to do. However, most pple who defend themselves whether in a classy or immature way (physically fighting, violence,etc) are seen with more value than the ones who ignore the situation and walk away. BUT I've seen cases where that person who does ignore the situation gets respect for not letting it get to them. So I'm stuck at what to do with these pple who I have awkward tension with and have no choice but to deal w them since they are my roommates. I've been avoidin the problem cause 1) I get crazy social anxiety when there's tension and 2) I usually don't feel like verbally arguing but instead like physically hurting them so since I'm under restrictions in the dorms and plus I am thinking of family and friends who I don't want to put through nonsense such as getting kicked out for fighting. I am probably gonna move out but I have to deal w the problem a few more days and I feel like I should defend myself by asking what's their problem but I know myself and of I get irritated imma start throwing low blows and I wanna get the most respect out of this so should I keep avoiding it an risk looking like a push over? cause I'm not I'm just avoiding something that could turn bad. I need to know who would you respect more?

I respect those that defend themselves even if it's trashy 11
I respect those who defend themselves but not in a trashy way 28
I respect those who avoid it since it takes a lot to not care&move on 19
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Comments ( 7 )
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I'll often walk away from something and don't get respect at the time but when people cool down and look at things calmly, they respect that I was able to do that because they know they couldn't. In my case it helps that it's never really seen as a sign of weakness because people know that if I wanted to go to town on someone verbally, I could (but generally wouldn't) cut them to ribbons. Same physically, in that I'm sturdy and powerfully built. I think I get respect for having power and not using it, when so many people use everything they've got to win at any cost.

    As bananaface said, do what leads to the best solution. That's what I nearly always try to do (even if it means letting people think the other person has won). If I'm being honest, I do sometimes leave a little hint that there was plenty left in the tank. I'm not a saint, after all.

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    • cigs
      11 years ago

      yeah. and you did win finally i was wrong about something.

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      • dappled
        11 years ago

        Read your profile last night and didn't reply because I'd had a drink. It sounded like a pretty unpleasant situation, though, and I hope things work out.

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        • cigs
          11 years ago

          i hope so to you know i wouldn't have came back here but i had to to tell you all that stuff because i like to respect other people to.

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  • bananaface
    11 years ago

    I think what you're doing is much better. I would not respect someone for starting physical fights (although I might not necessarily disrespect them either). If it isn't necessary, then doing it seems foolish to me. I understand the urge, but you're aware that it would end badly. Is it really worth it?

    As for the respect situation, it depends. If someone is in a situation where someone else is basically attacking them (I'm mainly referring to verbally here), and it isn't an argument (in the sense of it being a two way thing), then walking away sounds like the best option. That's because chances are they can't get through to the other person, so getting caught up in the whole thing might mean that they end up sinking to the other person's level. However, if it's possible to talk to each other and sort it out, then I think doing that would be a better option, rather than just ignoring the situation.

    I don't tend to condone violence, and I don't think it will solve anything. Just try to think about what leads to the best solution, which could be just walking away. Don't hit someone just for the sake of it, or for respect. You've got nothing to prove. You're not in the mafia.:P

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    Always stick up for yourself!

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  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    There are more options than fighting or walking away, you could try reasoning with the person/s to come to an agreement.

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