Where to go without the upset

89% Normal
8 Comments

I've been with partner for six years and we have a lovely child. I left him last year as he was drinking and smoking weed . He has a good job but his debts and loans from a previous relationship take 80% of his wages so he only has a take home pay of £40 per week which he spends on himself. I work part time and that buys food and other stuff. I've been back a year living with him and he has not changed. My daughter loves him and does not want to move homes as she was upset when we moved away . I was told yesterday he has been going pub after work which annoyed me so he stole my daughter for the evening from me and ruined our plans and upset my daughter by telling her your mums trying to take u away from your daddy again. I don't know what to do and im so sick of feeling depressed as i hate living with him. He barely pays my daughter attention unless his friend is there to make himself look good. IM a great mum and that's all i want to be. IM lookin for a house for me and my daughter but it could take months to get one. So annoyed i moved back in with him but where we moved to was horrid. I don't know how in going to cope living with him now that he knows in house hunting. He will disrespect everything i do now. IM so sad right now

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89% Normal
Based on 9 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    I know this is probably the wrong time to mention this, but I'm so glad I divorced my alcoholic second ex husband after three months!

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    You have a 19 year old daughter?
    That makes you like 35ish, and you are in this sort of situation?
    I'd wait for your counseling session and see what develops. They should have great social services there, and you'll be well taken care of. Mother England and all that.

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    • lisa1976
      9 years ago

      IM 39 thank u for your advice it does help

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  • annamed1
    9 years ago

    I'm glad you're taking steps to get away from him as I've seen this sort of thing escalate badly. It's brilliant that you're thinking of your daughter like this but you need to think of yourself too. Certainly it seems that's all he's doing! From experience I can tell you that if you do stay with him, your daughter will find herself wishing you'd leave eventually. It may hurt her now but it really is better in the long run.

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  • lisa1976
    9 years ago

    The plan was to move back to the area for my daughter to see him more than just one weekend a fortnight. she missed him like crazy. not to get back with him but council refused to rehouse me and said a made myself homeless. 11 months later in still moaning lol. I think his therapist is wrong in her approach to just lesson the beer intake. Roll on councelling and thanks for listening to me x

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  • Aliceee93
    9 years ago

    If you love this guy, then support him and find him help, as long as he's not aggressive then he should see what he's doing to his life with your help.

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    • lisa1976
      9 years ago

      He went to drink support but all they did was get him to a safe drinking level. He drinks six cans of low strength beer he is not drunk but i hate the smell of beer and sitting next to him is a turn off so no cuddling or kissing for us. He cut his weed down too but not enough. I've asked him to have just one night a week off but he wont do it. IM trapped. IM starting councelling on 23rd so i have some hope. Me and my daughter have had no holiday since September but when we lived alone we had four holidays in a year. Its his immaturity that gets me stressed. My 19 year old is more mature.

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      • Aliceee93
        9 years ago

        Then why did you go back? He needs professional help not just 6 weeks to get him to a safe level.

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