Where i went wrong.....

I am so un happy I made a mistake ..... It feels so good to write this. I no I am far from normal but as I sit here I wonder how un normal is my normal, I am a mother of an 8yr old girl and a 2 yr old girl I am married to a man how has 4 other bio kids and a step son how hates me. My husband is a recovering drug and alcohol abuser. I use to be a great singer and I always want to be a singer but, I let fear and the way I look stop me. I had my oldest child very young (21) and her father is gay I new he was but, I loved him I hate him for who he is I hate him for making me experince that lifestyle, I wanted to be around him so much that I dated a women just to double date with him and his lover. I married my husband and I dont love him as I should I dont trust him. I dont drive because fear takes over me I want to drive so bad on nice days I would love to take my kids to the park my husband has to drive me everywhere and I resent him everyday for the fact that he controls where I go work-home-hairdresser-everywhere. I need help i no but I just wish that I had some friends I push people away when they dont do what I tell them or give me what I need from them. I am so unhappy, I am so mean to my children sometimes i wish I never had them I watch my fav movie YAYA SISTERHOOD and completely understand the mother's pain. I just want to be as happy as everyone else seems. Is that at least normal?

Voting Results
15% Normal
Based on 39 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • spidzeedoo

    you need to smoke some weed do you lighten up on everyone. it will calm you down and also make life a little more pleasant for the kids and everyone else around you. do everyone a favor and take a few bong hits.

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  • Jesseriely

    Sounds like you're getting what you deserve for being a c nt

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  • countrybumkin

    you "suck at life". it is what you make it you can bitch and moan or you can do something about it, learn to drive, get the confidence to sing and do it in the park with the kids, who knows you may fall in love with someone who loves your singing and you can ditch all these other no hopers you seem to attract

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  • Vyzr

    lol very young? my mom had me at 19 XD

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  • shiftysplit

    First off... get singing lessons, or join a choir, or sing karaoke... this will give your confidence a little boost. It's so important to never give up what you love. If looks are getting in your way (and I know how that feels cuz I feel it too sometimes) go someplace where you won't see anyone you know. This way you don't have to worry about your looks.. you don't know a single person... so really it doesn't matter cuz' you'll never see them again. Once you start getting more comfortable with your singing and looks, try going someplace closer. Or get a new outfit that makes you feel hot. You need to start treating yourself to the things you enjoy! If you need friends to do this with, look up some local woman groups to take part in. Or find some community classes that interest you whether it's art, cooking, finances, photography, etc... there you'll be able to meet other people with similar interests. You won't get all your needs met by one person (your husband or kids, or even your old lover), that's why it's so good to have a variety of people you can confide in and share with. I'm glad you posted this, it's one step closer to realizing what you need to do... and deep down I think you know. Much love*

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  • anabolic19

    love you need to get out of that house for a bit go make some friends go get drunk have some fun it sounds nasty but f*ck the kids and f*ck your husband they will survive one day on there own go out have fun before you get too old please please then when your all sorted out and you've had fun and can think straight decide what your going to do in your life
    maybe you dont love your husband because your unhappy but if you ask me he dosnt deserve you you'd be better off without him and his army of children
    if you were on your own you would only have your two to take care of would be much easier for you

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