When should a kid move out of the parent's house

A couple friend of ours was talking about their 22 year old son living with them. Apparently, he doesn't pay rent or chip in money, rarely buys groceries and when he does they are mostly just for himself, doesn't help with chores unless they make him, makes a mess, and sounds like he's generally not that pleasant to have around.

Of course, they love him. But they want to start living the kids-are-gone part of their lives. They think it's time he go out on his own, but don't know how to get him out. Our conversation evolved into what age kids should move out of the parents house. What do you think?

Also, comment if your choice isn't listed and on how a parent can get a kid out when it's time.

Right after high school (18-19 yo) 9
Right after college 9
20-22, if not in college 3
23-25, if not in college 9
After 25 3
Other, comment 12
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Comments ( 25 )
  • charli.m

    It also depends on the culture. A lot of my friends from Asian backgrounds, their parents would not be happy if their kids moved out before marriage.

    I lived at home until I was 26. A change in circumstance has meant I've asked to return. Don't want to, but it's a necessity, and my grandmother is quite happy for me to do so.

    Obviously, contributing financially and/or with chores should be a requirement, depending on the individual families. A lot of families have got their shit together and expected age appropriate chores from a young age or even some form of rent oe board from the time a child gets a part time job.

    I wish I had moved out when I was younger. It's difficult in the current economic state, but there are many benefits.

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  • theseeker

    I think it depends on the situation. Some kids move away from home to go to college, but it could be more beneficial to stay with your parents while getting through college. In that case, I think it's acceptable. Otherwise, I feel kids should move out, and stand on their own feet.

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  • umph

    NEVER! The family shall live together.
    Parents and their (grown up) children living separately is just plain wrong.
    It is a very bad American / North-Western European habit.

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  • howaminotmyself

    Age isn't important here. They raised a lazy bum.

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  • VinnyB

    I think the more traditional standard was marriage, but as people are getting married later and later in life, that has changed. I moved out when I was 18, and I was thrilled to be out of there. But my reasons were specific to me and my family. I really don't think it matters as long as everyone involved is happy with the situation, it is not the business of anyone outside the family.

    Though many contribute, I have known 20 something's that are working at McDonalds, but they are driving an Escalade and parting 3 or 4 times a week, because they live at home, contribute nothing and have no monetary responsibility. If you ask me, they are taking advantage of their parents, and I don't think it is right. But they aren't asking me, it is none of my business, so I mind my business and keep my mouth shut. If their parents have a problem with it, it is their place to say something. If the parents don't care, why the heck should I?

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  • thegypsysailor

    IMO a child in the US should move out of their parent's house within a month of graduating from high school. They've been making their parents' lives miserable for years, often stating that they aren't children any more, when they disagree with something their parents have decided. Prove it, and get the fuck out and show everybody how adult you are.
    However, if remaining at home is absolutely necessary to continuing one's education, then it is acceptable to remain until graduation from a 4 year school. I do believe that this student should get at least a part time job, to cover their own 'fun' expenses, and chip in a bit at home, symbolically anyway.

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    • charli.m

      Some parents don't view their children as a burden. They actually like them.

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      • thegypsysailor

        I'm sure the birds that push their young out of the nest, don't do it because they feel their chicks are a burden, either.

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        • charli.m

          Do you not understand the difference between birds and humans?

          Did you berate your children because they didnt walk within hours of birth like a giraffe?

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          • thegypsysailor

            Once again miss asshole; GO FUCK YOURSELF!

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  • Dulse.

    It's up to the individuals involved to decide what feels right.

    If had a house and a kid, I'd allow them to stay as long as they wanted so long as they were respectful and wouldn't mind helping out a little.

    It was once the norm in a lot of places to take care of aging parents and to live with an extended family. Although that's not for everyone, I personally wish that was more socially acceptable because it probably encourages family bonding and helps people to thrive.

    Lots of security can come with staying together.

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  • Aries

    I don't know the answer to this one it's tricky and times are changed .. it's not like "back in the days" .. kids are at home at all ages and so are adults even . I think it would be ideal to be out before 25 but its not always an option or doesn't happen .. I think when the scenario is right but the kid also shouldn't be at home being a jackass or not doing anything at all . My comment might be biast about the age thing because I never lived at home and was neglected like my life wasn't worth anything so soaking up free rent to me is like paying me back for the dumpster life you gave me but I mean .. for a regular child hood and family .. I would say before 25 and probably a lot of people will say that's even too long but .. lots of factors involved :S maybe I am not the best for advice on this one .. wait for one of the other users who are more credible for this LOL

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  • LonelyLeafeon710

    As long as the parent(s) and child get along well and help each other, there is no necessary age for him or her to move out. Everything is so expensive nowadays and living with your parents or older sibling is a good financial safety net in the case something goes wrong. Unless you get married when you move out, you don't have as much security.

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  • ThingOne

    A good way to get them thinking about moving out is to stop feeding them.

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  • pixie44

    After he is finished with college (unless he's at a university) and has saved enough $ to move out.
    If they have the money to move out before then its fine too. But im around the same age and still live at home. Im going to school still and am trying to save as much money as possible to be able to buy a house. But i do agree that he should help clean around the house sense he's living there.

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  • sega31098

    Depends on the situation, though I'd say no lower than 21 or so.

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  • handsignals

    When they stop paying for everything and cleaning up my shit.

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  • JD777

    Maybe making his life less cushy, convenient and cost-free at home will encourage him to get his own place, or at least start acting like an adult and being a productive member of the household.

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