When it comes to dating, would these issues be a dealbreaker?

24 Comments

I was going to make a poll regarding if having a disability would be a dealbreaker for dating, but that is too vague and wouldn't tell me anything so I am asking about my own symptoms instead.
Of course there is many other qualities to consider, but I am asking if these problems alone would be a deal breaker or not because I do suspect this is why I have problems with people. I will include polls for each gender in the poll as well so just imagine the described character is someone of your perfered sex who has these traits rather than imagining me. I'm only going to list symptoms and not diagnoses because symptoms are what people observe.

-Trouble with non-verbal communication (ocassionally verbal too)
-Difficulty understanding emotional concepts
-Severe learning problems that do not impair general intellect
-Extremely clumsy and accident prone
-Sensory distortions
-Has particularities others think are odd
-Is often spaced off and unaware of surroundings
-Occasional unstable mood (not physically violent and trys to stay reasonable)
-Ocassionally remembers things that did not happen and forgets things that just did
-Has trouble following instructions
-Severe sleep problems and daytime fatigue
-Sleeps with breathing machine
-Easily injured and unstable joints
-Ocassionally throws up stomach acid
-Problems may get worse with age
-Takes meds and is compliant with medical treatment
-Symptoms are permanent and only somewhat treatable

Yes, this is a deal breaker..... (I am female)	17
No, this isn't a deal breaker (I am female)	20
Yes, this is a deal breaker..... (I am male)	18
No, this isn't a deal breaker (I am male )	13

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Comments ( 24 )

Cheet0

7 years ago

Hey, I am a guy and if you were female I could put up with most of that, so long as you could put up with my disability, involving my legs. It impairs my ability to walk, however I can drive and am able to maneuver around on a wheelchair and a scooter, lofstrand crutches over shorter distances.

Not to mention that I have never had a relationship and been treated like shit in the past, hoping that you wouldn't do the same to me..

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(s)aint

9 years ago

I'm female and no, someone with that many "issues" wouldn't be my ideal partner. Mainly because I have my own and need a stable calm partner that is more functional than what I can be at times. ( I got ADHD)

not to mention that I would get fed up with your personality xD I have a hard time dealing with other people, very few individuals does not make me want to carve their eyes out with a fork.

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Lawliet1979

9 years ago

After reading your post and your comments, I came to the conclusion that you are gifted.

I have been diagnosed as a gifted individual at the age of fourteen years old and can tell you that most of your characteristics match the gifted individuals' characteristics. You might even be an autistic individual with Asperger's syndrome.

I suggest you to inform yourself about this subject, and if you can identify yourself with such individuals, do an I.Q. test with a qualified psychologist.

Here are some links for you to inform yourself:

Giftedness:

http://gifted-adults.com/characteristics-of-gifted-talented-creative-adults/;
http://tip.duke.edu/node/99; http://www.education.com/reference/article/common-characteristics-highly-gifted/;
http://www.rocamora.org/self-tests/common-characteristics-of-giftedness-self-test;

Autism with Asperger's syndrome:
http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/tc/aspergers-syndrome-symptoms; http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/high-functioning-autism; http://www.autism.org.uk/asperger

Sincerely,

L.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yes. Im diagnosed with aspergers as well as schizoaffective and adhd.
  I also have hypermobility with arthritis, sleep apena with hypersomnia, and gerd.
  Its likely I have a genetic condition called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome but havent been diagnosed with that yet.
  I didnt give my diagnoses in the original post because I wanted to focus on the symptoms rather than medical terms.
  
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slings_and_arrows

9 years ago

I'm very romantic and just wouldn't care. If I like the person, and they make me feel something magical then it would take a lot to put me off. The sleep machine could interfere with sex though...But it wouldn't be the end of the world for me. I chose no it's not a deal breaker.

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- anti-hero
  
  9 years ago
  
  I assume a sleep machine would be used during sleep. People generally have sexual intercourse while awake.
  
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  - slings_and_arrows
    
    9 years ago
    
    Lol...yeh but imagine after sex, you want to cuddle up together and fall asleep and are tired but now you have to help him into the sleep machine and you probably cant hug him and the machine might be noisy. You may even have to sleep in different rooms. As I said, it wouldn't be a deal breaker just would be more difficult for me than the other things on the list.
    
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    - anti-hero
      
      9 years ago
      
      Pretty sure he is talking about a sleep apnea mask. It just slides over your nose and/or mouth and has a single tube running to a small machine next to the bed.
      
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      - slings_and_arrows
        
        9 years ago
        
        Somebody is really sucking your dick today. 3 thumbs up? Coz you know about sleep apnea masks...
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        He is correct I was refering to a sleep apnea mask.
        
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        charli.m
        
        9 years ago
        
        So you have a problem with people thumbing up good, accurate answers?
        
        I see.
        
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        anti-hero
        
        9 years ago
        
        My fans dig me. I don't even bother to look at thumbs anymore. It seems like it upsets you. Why is that?
        
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WhiteStallion

9 years ago

Focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses and on your powers instead of your problems...that said your issues are serious and getting therapy to work towards solving these issues is a start.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I do focus on my strengths but made this poll to see if it is my shortcomings are what impair my relationships with people, as I suspect. I have been compliant with medical treatment but it only goes so far since I have a genetic condition which is only somewhat treatable.
  
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reminiscent

9 years ago

I chose yes based on these things
-Ocassionally throws up stomach acid (I cant handle throw up well ...id be unable to be in the same room let alone help you clean it up )
-Has trouble following instructions( cant do this I lay out plans im a plan maker for events and such and would need some help from my partner)
-Ocassionally remembers things that did not happen and forgets things that just did(this seems frustrating)
-is often spaced off and unaware of surroundings(I am unaware of my surroundings sometimes...usually because I need to watch the ground when I walk...my bf stops me from walking in front of cars or other people...I need someone who is aware)

I would need you to elaborate on this
-Has particularities others think are odd

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  The vomit problem has been medicated but can still happen. I can clean up after myself if it gets on the floor and usually i go outside or run to the bathroom.
  I am sure I am frustrating because people tell me that often.
  
  The odd particularities could likely fill a book so it was easier to make that trait more vague.
  
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  - reminiscent
    
    9 years ago
    
    Well we would only have a problem is you threw up on or near me because then I would throw up too...and I couldn't clean up any of it lol. Iwould just keep throwing up.
    
    Ok ... well I few odd things depending on what they are wouldnt be a deal breaker ...but if you have enough to fill a book that would be.
    
    I think the combination of all this stuff is what might make it a deal breaker for most people....thats a lot to deal with
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I guess I will elaborate on things people have pointed out more.
      
      -I go through fazes where I obsess over topics. One month its speakers the next month its building a time machine. It might be all I talk about.
      
      -I don't like people touching my stuff without permission
      
      -I am germaphobic
      
      -I am not consistent with anything
      
      -People have complained I constantly repeat myself. I never notice when I am doing it but once its pointed out I usually do.
      
      -the vomit problem is from severe acid reflux. It was really bad until i took pills for ir.
      
      -on the plus side, I am not messy and I contribute to chores and other things that should be expected.
      
      I would imagine I have already given away who I am but I was trying to keep unknown because I wanted the poll to be unbiased and not about me, but about someone who has the same issues as me so that I could get a better idea of how much these qualities impact my dating experiences vs other things about me that are unrelated to this.
      
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      - reminiscent
        
        9 years ago
        
        Topic fazes doesn't seem like a big problem.
        touching stuff seems ok in a new relationship but could get irritating in a long relationship especially if we lived together.
        Np with germaphobic...my aunt is one, and im pretty sanitary. A bit messy when I work on projects and stuff but never dirty like leaving food around or something.
        not being consistent might be a problem
        sometimes I can handle people repeating themselves and sometimes I get irritated.
        that is a plus side
        
        I have no idea who you are
        
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  - Riddler
    
    9 years ago
    
    I have some of these. Oh btw one line got to me. "Occasionally throws up stomach acid". When you vomit your usually throwing up stomach acid. If you throw up yellow though there is a serious problem, contact a health official right away. Also yes though vomit is gross.
    
    -Trouble with non-verbal communication (occasionally verbal too)
    -Difficulty understanding emotional concepts
    -Extremely clumsy and accident prone
    -Sensory distortions
    -Has particularities others think are odd
    -Is often spaced off and unaware of surroundings
    -Severe sleep problems and daytime fatigue
    (I have these)
    
    Yes I would be friends with you but you sound like a very very sick individual and I feel very sorry for you.
    
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When it comes to dating, would these issues be a dealbreaker?