When i was 12 tried to do horrible things

33% Normal
6 Comments

when i was about 12 i was going through a very rough time and i was suicidal and felt alone and like everyone was horrible, and my logic was "everyone always hurts me and i hate feeling bad about others, so ill just stop feeling empathy haha easy" so i went through this phase where i wanted to be a psychopath yes very fucking edgy. so basically, the way 12 year old me went about this was basically watching gore videos online and, i guess i tried to copy what i came across.

i was NOT able to do that. i tried but i was completely unable to do it (as in, i "wanted" to but i felt too bad). but i feel so bad about it since then, just the fact i wanted to do it. the thing was killing my pets. yeah. the most i ever did was hit one of them one time. and it doesnt even remember it as far as i know... its like it never happened. my pets still love me and i still love them.

but i feel like im hiding something from my friends if i dont tell them i was once like that. i feel consumed by guilt that i ever tried to do such a thing and i think ill just always be a horrible person because of it. i wanna fucking die.

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 6 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • TheBlindInquisitor
    2 years ago

    I will be real with you I was a outright delinquent like 1weridguy said you would be surprised with the skeletons people have. So your not bad for having bad thoughts most people do.

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  • MandMs52
    2 years ago

    You are fine. You are not horrible. I think most people have had bad thoughts.
    Here's a hug and you don't have to tell anyone. Butnif you want to, maybe a priest in confession or a therapist?

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    You'd be surprised how many have skeletons in their closet

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    • Tommythecaty
      2 years ago

      I just like the clinky sound bones make guy, don’t judge me.

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  • miss_jass06
    2 years ago

    It seems like we've been through something similar, but I was 13 at the time.

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  • DADNSCAL
    2 years ago

    I think you need to look deep into your past to see where the hostility came from, to understand it. It sounds to me like you were abused as a child.

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