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...stab the knife into the draw and it shuts. i dont know if this is some weird hidden secret message from my brain saying i should kill people.
No, it's not.
Maybe you should talk to someone about this.
And stop doing that to your drawer unless you don't mind forking out for another one because it's probably pretty messed up by now.
I hope not. One of my exes did that a lot to the furniture in his room... Sounds just like a destructive urge, which would be extremely normal. Sounds like pent up energy? And there can be lots of fun--or potentially dangerous--ways to spend that. Just make sure you don't damage the cabinet too much, I guess.
Normal. Why? many say. Because its a knife, your not going to hold the sharp end are you. "But combo, that dosnt explain the stabbing part." Its normal to use inanimate objects to move things or press bottons. When gonig in the draw you get a knife, but maby it dosnt matter what it is. Youre going to close the draw with it because its a habit you like many others have picked up. Its you useing the same hand for multiple things. Theres just a knife in your hand in this case. Even if its not the case, your still useing it as a tool and not a weapon. Youre not repeatedly stabbing the draw. Youre aplying force through the knife to close it. Youre perfictly sain and... Normal.
Are you sure there are not cockroaches in the drawer and you are trying to kill them? Why not try a DCON-roach motel?