Whats the lamest excuse for manslaughter?

She stole my lolly and didnt say sorry.

Satan told me to.

God told me to do it. I hate..but I LOVE that excuse all at the same time. I love it because it's so utterly ridiculous that it makes you wonder...who in the hell believes this shit? And who thinks this is a plausible excuse!? I hate it because it's pathetic, and senseless, if you believed in 'God' wouldn't you know that he WOULDN'T want you to kill your kids/spouse/neighbor/whatever?

I see dead people walking around like regular people. They don't even know they're dead.

He forced me to do it even though I begged him not to make me do it, I AM THE VICTIM!

"I thought is was mans laughter".

"That wasn't a human, that was clearly a man-eating demon in disguise you fools!"

"It wasn't murder. I tried to kill myself and he got in the way!"

"I played Xbox too long and wasn't ready to stop playing when I had to go to work."

''I was cleaning the gun and it fired spontaneously.

Six times.

In his face.''

Or like this huge ordeal that just happened in my town, one man shot another in the general store parking lot in front of everyone (to death, which later led to a police chase and the shooter being shot by police) over property lines, concerning a drive-way dispute in court.

He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times... (: ha

"He looked at me funny." or
"He ate my last Cheez-It." or
"It wasn't me, it was my other personality." or
"I was shooting at the ghost right in front of him." or
"I gave Satan his soul. He left me with the body. As thanks, he gave me this gun."

I like the Satan one! :)

I didn't kill him...YOU DID!

He ran his head into my fist repeatedly, its like he killed himself :P

i know i'm weaker than him, if he lives he'll have more power, i'll be pressurized
i guess this is the main reason of wars nowadays

I tripped.

*innocent lil kid tone* A leprechaun told me to

Gun? What gun? This is a very rare Eastern Amazon Desert bong, for the Uhjuana tribes, supposed to be so potent it can blow peoples minds...soooo..yeah....

"God told me to" or "i thought he/she was a demon from hell" religous bs...

Religion

God told me to.

WTF did you see that unicorn stab him in the stomach and shoot him in the face it was....AWESOME!!!

ok thats all for my random excuses CALL ME 555-123-4321 my name is ivana tinkle!

we were playing russian roulette .....he lost

yell "omg they killed jimmy" and point the other way

i didnt do it my other personality did

"did you see that evil sourpatch kill him and he gave me a hug!" (first their sour then their sweet!!)

Oh.. he was.. uh... Dead when I found him... I just shot him to see if he was alive... yeah that'll work... oh crap I said that?

They were home.

Blaming someone else is always lame.

"he told me to"

"To help lower the worlds population"

"To feed hungry children in Africa"

"He told me he could stop a bullet, apparently he wasn't referring to his body"

"Self-defense"

Don't you mean murder? The lamest excuse is honor.

I was just giving him a friendly push. It just happend to be an open window on the other side.

He asked me to kill him.

"I did it to help him HAVE A FREER LIFE!"

"He said: 'Your mother'!"

the baby can't feel anything or any excuse for abortion. calling it a "choice" makes me twice as mad because the baby getting his skull crushed had no "choice", it's all lies.

"i was just shooting randomly and he happened to pass by"
"he was dead before i got here i swear"
"this is not what it looks like"

i tripped.

i fell.

I can see a redneck using the gun line, which is pretty funny. Though I really cracked up over the suicide one!! LOL LOL

i liked the suicide one
BTW, i was kind of offended by the Satan ones, not personal but because satanism is not like that