What would you do if your long term partner discovered they were hiv+

19 Comments

Lets say that you have been with your boyfriend/girlfriend for a couple years or so. Your relationship is wonderful and there are hardly any problems between the two of you. One day your partner goes for a routine physical and gets full blood work done. The results are shocking and your partner tells you that they tested positive for HIV. Your partner had no idea that they had it before this. What would you do next? Comments?

Freak out and never talk to them again 5
Stay with them and get yourself tested and go from there 50
Do nothing 0
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Comments ( 19 )
  • anti-hero
    10 years ago

    Well if we had been having sex for years I would probably have it too. I would try to figure out when, where and how she got it. If it was from cheating on me, I would be pissed. If it was from before me from sex it would still be iffy and I would question her decision making. If it was from something medical, it would be better but still suck.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Ain't love grand? A death sentence wrapped up in a wonderful relationship.
    If you tested positive too, you should probably stay together; you've got a good thing going, and nothing to lose. If not, run like hell.
    I'd probably try to figure out who gave it to my partner and add a considerable amount of pain to his/her daily existence.

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    • Royalburden
      10 years ago

      It's not a death sentence anymore. Things have changed in the past years, people with HIV and AIDS, if they've been diagnosed in a timely fashion can live a full healthy life if they follow their treatments which in themselves have been improved as well. A single pill every day, which is better than having to have an injection and having to change your entire eating habit like you would for diabetes. Or getting repeated radiation treatments like you would for cancer. To say that it's a death sentence does nothing to help the person that has been diagnosed, nothing but take hope away from them and that will just make them sicker.

      Best thing to do is stand by them, even if they did cheat, because being diagnosed with this sort of thing is difficult to cope with. As much as a person could hate another person It'd be stone cold to just leave them and never speak to them again. Nearly everyone cheats at one point or another, so put aside the venom for a little while until you get things figured out.

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      • thegypsysailor
        10 years ago

        OK, then. If one can afford to pay for the doctors and meds, you might have a life. There should be a law that if you give someone aids, you should have to pay all the medical bills and for the meds for the rest of that person's life. Getting fucked for fucking around is fair, don't you think?

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        • Royalburden
          10 years ago

          That's when you get medical insurance. If you really want to be a jackass you can sue them for attempted murder if you can prove that they knew they had the virus and still had unprotected sex with you without you knowing, but honestly, no it isn't fair. If someone cheats on you, you leave them, if someone cheats on you and gives you herpes you don't force them to pay the equivilent of the cost of medication and the tests for the rest of your life. You get tested, treated, and you leave them. The person's already paying the price by knowing they have the virus as well do they really need more punishment? This is one of those times in which you kinda have to prove you're the better person, and think exactly what are you trying to punish them for because I can guarantee having them pay for your life long treatment is not equal punishment just for cheating as it was never their intention to get HIV and then give it to you. There are much more effective ways of murder.

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          • thegypsysailor
            10 years ago

            If a person knowingly has aids or herpes and has sex with someone who doesn't, why shouldn't they take responsibility for THEIR actions. You be the better person; I'd want all my related medical expenses paid by them, not some insurance company who would probably find a way not to pay, anyway.
            And what can compensate for your not being able to have sex with uninfected people (or using a condom with your spouse)for the rest of your life? Kinda cuts down the available pool of partners a bit.
            No, I'd not be the better person, especially if it was all a result of cheating. FUCK THAT SHIT!

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            • Royalburden
              10 years ago

              Idk I would much rather have the person out of my life, not chained to me due to a legal requirement to pay me. And btw you can still have sex while infected with AIDS or HIV. If you keep up your medication and keep track of your viral load as needed, and make sure your partner is aware and educated about your condition. If the person you're with loves you it shouldn't be a problem.

              When you're diagnosed with HIV or AIDS it's far more healthy to treat the situation as simply another of life's challenges. Things happen and you really just have to deal with them as they occur. You start treating it like a punnishment and it will become just that and you'll never learn to live with it and move on to greater things, after all this is the 20th century now, so much has changed, we can move on.

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  • t17
    10 years ago

    Well most people here seem to be 'positive' about it.

    I'm trying to understand why there aren't any other options. Personally, being brutally honest, I would hit them over a head with a pillow for being such a devious bounder.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    That sucks.

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    Scenario not very possible for me. Im sorry I guess I don't get to play this game you've set up.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I would stay with them.

    If we were in a serious relationship, in love, and we had been planning a future together, then I would continue to do so and give them all the support they needed---plus some. The discovery would never be a dealbreaker for me, unless they'd contracted it while cheating.

    Illnesses are a part of life and I don't see HIV as a legitimate reason to stop loving someone and break it off with them. That would be like breaking up with someone because they got cancer, even if they were in remission.

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    • Sog
      10 years ago

      It's not at all like cancer because AIDS is contagious.

      Personally, I don't think it would ever be worth the risk for me to stay with someone if they were infected and I wasn't, unless we have been together for a very long time. I know couples like this do exist though. And eventually the other partner usually does get infected no matter how careful they are.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        10 years ago

        Not necessarily. The only reason the other person would get infected is if they slipped up and did not always use a condom and or the medications to reduce the viral load. It all depends on the viral load at the time of having sex. It is not a guarantee that you will get HIV from someone who has it even if you have unprotected sex multiple times. Although it would be idiotic and very risky to do that. There is a misconception that if you have unprotected sex with someone who has HIV you are automatically going to contract it from that exposure, but that is not necessarily true. It is usually from repeated risky exposures that someone contracts HIV. It is possible to never get HIV from your partner if you are using condoms and the medications to keep the disease dormant in the body.

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        • Sog
          10 years ago

          No, I understand that too.

          But I mean if you are in a relationship where you have constant sexual contact, mistakes will happen. It's like anything else. That's why transmitting the infection to a partner is not the exception, but the rule.

          If it were so easy to prevent the spread, then AIDS would be eradicated by now. And it's too easy to just blame it on the "careless" people.

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          • [Old Memory]
            10 years ago

            It would be entirely different if it were not a long term relationship.

            I understand what you're saying. However, I still stand by what I wrote.

            This is a fascinating documentary about HIV/AIDs; if you have the time, I recommend watching it.
            http://www.houseofnumbers.com/site/

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  • Grapist
    10 years ago

    Seppuku

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    10 years ago

    Well now I have HIV. Shit.

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  • Teh4HorsMen
    10 years ago

    Try to figure out what the fuck that means.

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  • CherryCheeks
    10 years ago

    Well thank goodness they aren't. That would be horrible.

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