Ask Your Question today
Let's say that you fell pregnant and couldn't get an abortion. Would you kill yourself in order to prevent the birth of the unwanted child? What would you do?
Personally, I would. I'd rather die than bring another human being into the world.
| I'd kill myself | 7 | |
| I'd give it up for adoption | 25 | |
| I'd try encouraging myself to keep and raise it | 25 | |
| I'm sterilized so that isn't a threat to me | 2 | |
| I'm male but i still want to vote | 14 |
What kind of question is this?
You sound really immature, killing yourself if you couldn't get an abortion?
Believe it or not a lot of women become suicidal after having had an abortion.
Believe it or not, a lot of women become suicidal after becoming impregnated by their Father, Uncle or Brother.
That I believe 100%. I hope that's not what happened to you, and I mean that sincerely with all my heart! What saddens me most is that incest often goes unreported to the police. I really hope that wasn't the case with you.
Exactly, PleaseToMeetYou. And a lot of women become suicidal after becoming impregnated from other types of rape. And a lot of women become suicidal after having a child they are really not capable of financially caring for, then finding there aren't really that many programs to help. And a lot of women become suicidal after months or years of caring for a child alone. And that's just the ones that make it through the pregnancy and childbirth alive - http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/MaternalInfantHealth/PMSS.html
Believe it or not, a lot of women DON'T feel suicidal after having had an abortion. Believe it or not, MOST women who have abortions don't feel suicidal. They just feel relief at not having to spend the next eighteen years working their fingers to the bone to make enough money to feed two but never quite being able to, being exhausted constantly because they're the only one taking care of a child's needs when it really takes a village (but that village turned their back on them because *gasp* "you had sex, so you deserve it"), to live in the despair of knowing it will not get better. Yeah, most women who've had abortions feel nothing but intense relief.
If there really WERE programs to support women when they bring a child to term, there would be fewer and fewer abortions. Or, how about easy to obtain and affordable birth control? Yep. That would stop a lot of abortions, too.
Me? Didn't and don't feel suicidal at all when I had an abortion. Just felt relief. I would have loved to have had a child, but after watching many single-mother friends struggle SO FREAKING HARD and still not be able to make ends meet EVER, and still be blamed for being a single mother, ... Nope. No way. If I would have been more supported by society, yep. But the way it is now? No freaking way in hell.
I'm glad you didn't experience any negative side effects after your abortion, but your experience doesn't speak for everyone. Please respect the fact that 65% of post abortive women have a different life experience than you do.
ALL post abortive women have a different life experience than I do. If you meant to say that 65% of post abortive women are different than me in that they feel suicidal after, that's not true. For many links to information to back this up, see the links in this article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_and_mental_health
Time and time again, reputable studies have shown that "Post Abortion Syndrome" (feelings of being suicidal and depressed) is not a thing.
IN Sweden we have free birth-controls up to 25 years old ... Do we still have teen-pregnancies and abortions? YES.
Just wanted to say that. And we also have a pretty awesome welfare too so as long as you haven't completely fucked your life up you are safe and good as a single mother too.
Yet we have lots of abortions.
Yep. No birth control is 100% effective, so unwanted pregnancies are inevitable. Not every woman wants to have kids. Not every man either. So there MUST be a way for a woman to have a SAFE abortion or she WILL go the unsafe route, and many will die from it.
I salute your country in their stance. Easily available birth control to prevent pregnancy, help if you do get pregnant and want to keep it, and safe abortion if you choose not to. That is living in reality and dealing with it responsibly while not leaving people out in the cold because they happened to lose the birth control lottery. I wish more countries would do the same.
It's more socially acceptable today to be a single mother than it was a century ago. Also there exists more programs and support groups for single mothers than there ever have been.
We need prevention programs, schools should educate students about sex and how to prevent pregnancy. Not to lower the abortion rate but to lower the rate of underage pregnancy.
Also it's easy to get birthcontrol, just speak with your doctor. I went on birthcontrol at sixteen without my parents consent and organizations like planned parenthood will cover the cost of birthcontrol.
Pregnancy is preventable, especially in this day and age. Be smart about your partners and always use protection.
Having an abortion isn't easy? You make it sound like it's nothing to walk into a clinic and make a decision that influences your entire future. It's not, it's a huge decision that weighs down on you, don't make it out to be this "sigh, I'm glad that's over" experience.
I got pregnant while on the pill. Yes, I was taking it as directed. No, I wasn't taking any other medications that would affect it's effectiveness. The pill is only 99% effective when taken as directed, which means that one out of every hundred women on it will get pregnant. I was one of those one in a hundred.
Just ask your doctor or Planned Parenthood for birth control? What about those women who can't afford a doctor? And what about those women who live in states like Texas where Planned Parenthood was just defunded? Condoms? Less effective than the pill - 18% failure rate from typical use (even if the women wants to use it perfectly, there's another person involved here and they aren't always on board with that).
It may be more socially acceptable to be a single mother nowadays, but that doesn't mean it's socially acceptable completely. Just because we no longer have a Dickensian outlook on it where the single mother is deemed an "untouchable" for her "crime" doesn't mean it's socially acceptable. Single mothers are still blamed for it.
I use condoms and birthcontrol together, I've never had a pregnancy scare. I also sleep with educated, independent, and mature young men that could father a child with me. Don't sleep with someone if they're not "on board" to prevent against pregnancy? Why would you sleep with someone if they're not willing to wear a condom?
What are you arguing for? That single mothers are victims and blamed for having sex? Or that pregnancy isn't preventable? Or that there are no easily accessible contraceptives? There are.
I am arguing for choice. The choice for the women who fall between the cracks. The women who don't have the ability to choose good partners because they were never taught what a good relationship looks like, so they grasp for any connection, hoping it will turn out okay, then find themselves in an untenable position.
I am arguing for a rape victim to be able to begin to heal immediately instead of nine months later.
I am arguing for the fact that pregnancy isn't 100% preventable, so there should be last resorts just in case (and believe it or not most abortions are last resorts, NOT first choice for birth control).
I am arguing for YOUR choice. I am arguing for YOU to have an out if you and your educated, independent, and mature young partner do find yourselves in the position of an unplanned pregnancy, but realize that carrying it to term would mean the end of your life as you know it, an end to most of the plans you had made and worked for, and decide you aren't ready for that yet. Don't think you know exactly how you would feel - I've been there, done that, with myself and friends. Once you are in that position, you very well may react differently than you think. I am arguing for YOUR right to keep that child if you decide to, but for it to be a CHOICE, not an IMPERATIVE, not something you are forced to do.
I am arguing against the prevailing attitude that you should choose between connection with someone or a life of maternity when you do not want that. It shouldn't be "if you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex". It should be "have sex while taking responsible precautions, but if something happens beyond your control, here's some help". What's so wrong with that? Why are you arguing against that?
It's so annoying that women who have abortions "are supposed to" feel sad and guilty about it, I don't really see what there is to be sad about. I'd feel exactly the same as you did.
Thanks for the support, ImADragon. I agree completely that it's annoying, more than annoying, that people think you're supposed to feel so bad after having an abortion. In that article I linked to above, there is a reputable study that says that the social pressure to think of abortion as so horrible and women who have them as "irresponsible sluts" actually LEADS TO women who've had an abortion feeling sad and guilty.
Having an abortion isn't "no big deal", but it's also not "murder".
If I can't go to an abortion clinic, I'd just find a way to abort it myself.
you can put yourself in high stress scary situation and your body will about it as an act of self-preservation
Nope. Wrong. You say "your body will about [sic] it". No it will not. It MIGHT, but rarely does.
i didnt say it like it happens 100% of the time, but that is a possiblility
You said "your body will about it as an act of self-preservation ".
Saying "it WILL" without any qualifiers means 100% of the time. 100% of the time isn't anywhere close to "a possibility". Yeah, its a possibility - a QUITE REMOTE one, and a FAR CRY from "it will". Very much much likely IT WON'T.
I don't know why, but after reading your comment, for some reason an image of Todd Akin stalking a duck that's casually eating a gallon of strawberry sorbet popped into my head.
I would try to find a way to get an abortion illegally. Otherwise I would probably do the same as you. If I became pregnant and got an abortion I would feel like it saved my life.
straight up if you cant handle being pregnant then you shouldn't be having sex like god damn thats what they make condoms, birth control, morning after pill, and buch other forms of contraception for think about consequences before you do certin actions we all know sex is fun and natural but you have to be smart about it!
why cant you get an abortion?
I'd give it up for adoption. I don't think I'll ever be ready to raise a kid.