What would you consider it?
Well, when I was younger, lets say around 9. Thats when I got my computer. Porn was discovered, yay boobies. masturbation discovered. Lets say I discovered something on my own , totally oblivious of what it really was or what it meant and this was considered gay. Although soon enough I discovered it was unnatural and not for men(again thought up on my own) and stopped this, but things were done already.
Years later I am still obsessed with porn still, more specifically head, but had no nerve to get a girl. Again things were done(by myself). Then shame of my pathetic antics was felt and again stopped.
years later or whatever I realize what i have really done(I was very gullible and corruptable) I like only females and fantsized about them throughout these ordeals. But this past stupid action I have now come to understand has a hold on me.
What would you consider me or my actions. I really hate myself.