What to do about bullying?

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17 Comments

A topic I've seen come up a lot lately is bullying. I am writing this because I would like to hear other peoples input on some things that have always baffled me.
I have always had trouble understanding if someone is joking or trying to be mean. Of course something becomes inappropriate when it bothers you so it is pointless to wonder what the bully's actual intentions are. The confusing part is when others say you are being crazy when you get defensive, but say you need to stand up for yourself when you don't. This makes for a very confusing social situation.
Another problem is what to do in defense. Obviously you can fight the bully. If you lose they will continue to bully and if you win they will seek revenge. Therefore the feud will continue until you or the bully is killed. The easiest way to prevent this situation would be to kill them in the first place to prevent problems. However if their friends find out you will have to kill them too and considering everybody knows somebody you would be left with an option of global genocide, which nobody has yet been successful of.
This leaves the confusion of whether you should kill somebody to prevent further problems, or do nothing and I wouldn't want to kill someone over a joke. This topic has been bothering me for a long time and I want to know how it works for others.

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Based on 11 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Interesting that you bring this up; I was bullied constantly when young and for whatever reason I've been thinking a lot about it lately.

    First of all, your theory of "reciprocation until escalation to murder" is exaggerated to the point of being humorous. Fortunately, things just don't work like that. Usually.

    The bottom line is that folks simply have to learn to stand up for themselves, to make it resoundingly clear that they're not willing to be a victim. Looking back on why I always seems to be such a lucrative target for subhumans is obvious enough; not only was I a loner but I was incredibly passive as well. I got attacked regularly, and in response I did nothing, thus facilitating a continuing cycle of abuse because I was simply too much a of a coward to take a stand. What's probably most disturbing of all is that teachers and other adults (may they rot in hell) never really cared to step in and defend me.

    That shit's over now, and all that abuse has done nothing but harden me into something much stronger and fiercer than any of those cunts could ever dream to be. Now, if anyone thinks they can get their kicks at my expense, they're in for a very rude awakening.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      While I don't have problems with this anymore, I still cannot figure out what went wrong or how I would handle it if it were to happen again. I tried various things before including fighting, ignoring, and causing other problems, that would sometimes get me in trouble, or make me to look like the bad guy.
      I do believe it made me develop anger management problems and over all made me into a more dysfunctional person.
      While the murder part of my post was to point out how absurd the situation was, there have been times I literally considered murdering people to end things because I could figure no other solution. Fortunately with time I no longer had to deal with the situation but if it happened again in my future I don't think I would handle it very well.

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    I see you explained the murder people thing

    here ill tell you a story of jokes vs bullying...
    my friend was fat he walked into the classroom in college with a red coat and a green hat I told him he looked like a tomato. We are friends we both laughed he also pokes fun at me.
    one day this kid in class told him he looked like a cow...my reaction... I told thd kid to f off but the kid didnt get it and continued his name calling...I slapped my hands on the table told him he better knock it the f off or I was going to hop over this table and f him up. After other students got over their shock of me being so pissed off...im usually the happy fun loving person...they turned there attention to the guy and told him he needed to stop...needless to say he stopped and didnt address us again the rest of the school year.

    In that story my friend did not need to stand up for himself as I did it...and I would do it for anyone I saw being bullied. The best thing to do is stand up for eachoth er a bully will stop if he is outnumbered... if you stand up for yourself a bully might stop because most want significantly weaker pray then themselves.

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    • KeddersPrincess
      9 years ago

      I don't know you but after reading your comment you seem like a good person. I wish more would do the same as you in that situation. :)

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      • reminiscent
        9 years ago

        Aw thank you...I love the show what would you do..have you seen it?
        I like to think I will always try to do the right thing in situations....I strive for that in rl.

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        • KeddersPrincess
          9 years ago

          Yeah. I've seen it a few times. I often wonder what I would do in the situations they present. I have so much respect for what you did especially having never been that courageous myself. Wish I was. I had a friend in high school who was overweight himself but very gentle and timid (guess I was a little too timid myself). He was being bullied in class one day and I wanted to say something but I was too damn afraid. Even today I still feel guilty for not saying anything. It's nice to know there are people such as yourself that are brave enough to do that, though. It makes me see some goodness in humanity.

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          • reminiscent
            9 years ago

            Dont feel guilty whats done is done and I bet he appreciated the friendship you gave. maybe next time you will find the courage.
            I love the show and have seen every episode...if you want to watch more I think they have some on youtube... and you will see lots of other people who speak up in situations.

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            • KeddersPrincess
              9 years ago

              I hope to see more of people do that. And maybe since people seem to be becoming more aware bullying I will. :)

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Makes sense. I've had a few times where I reacted aggressively only for people to side with the bully saying I am being crazy.
      Other situations have been for example somebody I am trying to stick up for because they say they are being bullied and when I confront the bully they have the opposite story, leaving me confused which one is the bully.
      This only frustrates me further because I feel both people are now fucking with me.
      I have had numerous situations that have ended very badly because I couldn't figure out who was causing the problem.

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      • reminiscent
        9 years ago

        In my story I react to a situation that is happpening at that moment there is no confusion to who the bully was...maybe just react to situations you witness unless someone has evidence other then their word.
        im always a happy person kind to people and just a life is great personality. ..so when I get pissed off people are like oh shit someone fucked up! like In my story everyone was shocked then looked for the sorce of my anger relised that guy messed up and told him off. When I react its serious and people around me take it seriously. Maybe people around you think you overreact because of your overall personality. ..just a guess since I do not personally know you...that or my other guess would be its the people you were around at the time

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          Many of my situations have been different but some involved things going on without me being there.
          Another aspect of it may be that sometimes I supposedly was there when something happened, but didn't notice.
          I can't take for granted what someone says all the time.
          Usually in social situations I pay no attention towards anyone unless they are interacting with me, whether directly or as a group member.
          In a way this is good because I could care less to eavesdrop on people, but causes a problem when something happens I should have noticed.

          I seem good at observing peoples moral behaviors and understand they usually repeat them but haven't figured out how to read people otherwise. I never got what people are talking about by "vibes". When someone says they get bad vibes from somebody I assume they are probably paranoid. At the same time I recognize I am not a good judge of character until I have known somebody for a long time and even then they will often surprise me.

          I don't think I am bullied too much myself. I was as a kid but I'm 6'2 240lbs so I look like somebody people don't want to fuck with even though I'm an awfully clumsy fighter.
          Still people expect me to stand up to their bullies at times.
          I'm pretty good at communicating behind a keyboard but in person I am not a smooth talker so I have made things worse than they were before.

          I hate to bring up my ex all the time on here as that is an old topic, but this was a serious issue with her that was never resolved. Some of my friends didn't like her and she would complain to me about being bullied by them and they would have another story putting me in the middle of it and it would end with everyone involved upset at me.

          I know it's old news but I want to know what to do if something like that happens again. For the most part I don't want to deal with peoples bullshit but when I am supposed to stick up for someone I wonder how I know who is being irrational.

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          • reminiscent
            9 years ago

            Someone tried to bully me once in is but didnt work...im 5'2" lol so short.
            if you think you might make a situation worse tell that person that you just want to be their moral support...and go to people in charge if you have not witnessed the bullying first hand. example a dean or principle of the school.

            Try not to be in the middle of that situation. Ask for evidence of alleged bullying. Or if its really a problem set up a hidden camera yourself.

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            • [Old Memory]
              9 years ago

              I'm 30. I don't have to deal with school drama.
              I don't have any current issues with this either but would like to be prepared to deal with it better if it happens again.
              Looking back at the whole situation I don't know how I got in the middle of things to begin with.

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  • Icyblueeyes
    9 years ago

    You are being too dramatic.
    Talk to the counsellor about the bully and ask to end it.
    Call the police about the violence and explain the offence.

    If however this 'serious' further offences have not taken place, and you're still thinking of 'murdering' them, it's you who have the problem, not the bullies.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Just so everybody knows I do realize the absurdity of killing everyone to prevent the situation from happening.
    That was my way of expressing how ridiculous it all is.
    I probably could have wrote this one a bit better.
    So what do you do when dealing with a bully somewhere like work or elsewhere that is inappropriate to attack the bully. What is an effective way to handle the situation without looking crazy?

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