What's wrong with my mom?

11 Comments

I'm an adult, in my 30's. I've lived away from home for most of my adult life (excluding college, for convenience and expense reasons).

Anyway, I used to call my mom weekly to see how she was doing and everything, the converstations were short and to the point, so it's not like I was talking her ear off. I don't like to talk on the phone, anyway. I just want to make sure she's OK. She fails to tell me important things, like when my favorite great-aunt died and when the funeral was, and other such things. We get along OK, but how can you not pick up the phone for a year and not call your own child? I couldn't even fathom that, having children of my own. NEVER.

SOOOOO....I did an experiment. I decided, I'm not going to call her for an entire year. I wanted to see if she'd call me. Being my mom, I'd think there'd be some concern....I could've been dead or whatever. I went through a pregnancy, and she had no clue. It hurt me so bad that she didn't call for a year, and I'm the one who broke down and finally called her, otherwise I have no clue how long this would've gone on.

Let me riterate, there's no problem or issue between us that would cause this. She's not 'too busy' (at all), and the phone calls would be free so expense is no issue.

WHAT??? What do you think?

There's something wrong with her. 30
I'd be devastated. 17
This is normal. 11
Comment about your thoughts/experiences. 3
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Comments ( 11 )
  • disthing
    12 years ago

    Either she isn't worried enough to call because she's confident you're fine whatever you're doing, or she isn't worried enough to call because she doesn't actually care about you that much.

    That's how I see it anyway.

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  • sissycakes
    11 years ago

    maybe she doesn't like to be on the phone. a lot of parents and children don't call each other.

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  • alvon33
    12 years ago

    she sounds alright..

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  • zchristian
    12 years ago

    Hmm your mom should meet my dad he says he cared about me but he very rarely askes how im doing and such and when he does its often because someone reminded him to do it otherwise i nearly never hear from him...

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Can I just ask if you are an only child or one of a crowd?

    My mother used to sulk for years at a time :o(
    After I give birth, I couldn't walk or drive coz of a blood clot in my leg. She rang me up and TOLD me to drive 66 miles to see where the sun shone on my sister's rental property, eh?! I told her I couldn't walk to even get in the car and I had a new-born premature baby. She slammed down the phone and never rang me for 2 years. She turned up univited to my son's second birthday party in my home.

    But then again - she's a rotten hateful bitch who wasn't getting enough attention from me :o(

    I told her I liked it when she sulked coz at least I got peace. Big mistake... she hasn't done it recently :o(

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  • Ihadtomakeyetanotheraccountffs
    12 years ago

    My dad actually had almost exactly the same experience with his mother.

    After his father died, my and dad made efforts to see her a lot and take her out, get her involved in things, and live her life again. After a couple of years my parents got sick of her behaviour, always waiting for us to make any effort, plus she criticized us a fair bit and was always miserable and ungrateful. After a while my dad decided he wasn't going to pander to her anymore. From that time on we received only ONE phone call from her, in which she talked to me for a while, let me know she loved me (or so she said...) and that was it.

    It's been about 5 years since then and we've heard nothing of her. We're better off without her and my dad feels no sorrow for it, he's feeling liberated about it. Good riddance I say, but I don't feel anything against her, it seems we're emotionally divorced from her now, I was 12 at the time so I barely knew her anyway.

    Woah that was a long comment, sorry... hope that offered something helpful to you.

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  • PrincessLollipop
    12 years ago

    Awwwwwwwww! I would be sad too. Why don't you bring it up instead of wasting time experimenting and only hurting yourself? :(

    I hope all goes well. <3 <3 <3

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      I did bring it up, she said she 'just doesn't call people'....which is bullshit.

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      • PrincessLollipop
        12 years ago

        So how did she react when you called her a year later? Did you let her know that it hurts you? Is she like this with everyone or just you?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          everyone...well, edit that....she calls her other kids a lot. But no one else. And yeah, I told her it hurt me but she excused it by saying 'she thought it was MY problem'. After calling someone weekly, I don't think it's valid to say that it's MY fault that she didn't call. It ws very hurtful.

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          • PrincessLollipop
            12 years ago

            That's definitely very rough. I guess all I can say is that not everyone is perfect and we all have our flaws. Maybe your moms flaws are that she is stubborn and at times inconsiderate of other peoples feelings. If you haven't brought it up recently, I would bring it up again. Maybe take her out to dinner (just the two of you) and do something nice for her. When you feel the time is right, and when you see she is in a good mood, tell her how you feel. Demand a valid answer. Have you spoken about this issue with your siblings?

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