What's wrong with me and is it normal?!

79% Normal

I am a heterosexual female, but I have never been attracted to people in the traditional sense. It is nearly impossible for me to feel physical or sexual attraction to someone UNLESS I have an emotional bond with them. I have been like this my entire life. There have been maybe 4 cases where I have found someone physically attractive just by meeting them. When I meet guys I feel nothing. Then once I get to know them I start finding them hot/sexy/appealing/whatever you want to call it. A lot (actually most) people don't believe me when I say this, which leads me to believe it isn't a very common thing. This dilemma also prevents me from developing crushes on celebrities and from hooking up with anyone unless they're my friend. What's wrong with me? Also, is this a normal thing to be feeling?

Voting Results

79% Normal

Based on 29 votes (23 yes)

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Comments ( 11 )

handsignals

9 years ago

First World Problems

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Practically everything on this site is a first world problem. So, you might as well go post that on every question. I posted for feedback, not for some person to post what he/she thinks is a clever line when in actuality it's a very played out meme. Thank-you.
  
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  - handsignals
    
    9 years ago
    
    The only "problem" is you can't get a crush on a celebrity or fuck a stranger, there not really problems if anything it's probably a good thing, I mean, if you add up the amount of time I spent fapping over Samantha 38G I probably could have done a law degree.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      There are actually a few more problems associated with it. Mainly the fact that people have a stigma that thought processes like this can't exist. I had to cut contact with A LOT of old friends, because they would make fun of me for it. When I try explaining myself to others, they often ridicule me. Why? I have no clue. I've just given up completely in regards to expressing how I feel, because it isn't worth my trouble or time. I don't even consider this a problem in my life anymore, as I already fixed it by not discussing it with people. I just wanted some answers, so that maybe I could feel a little more normal and less shitty about how my brain works. But, thanks for your input. It's appreciated.
      
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      - handsignals
        
        9 years ago
        
        Maybe it's a fear mechanism. You don't feel sexual attraction til you feel safe around a man. I'm the opposite, I'll fuck complete strangers.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        I generally feel safe around everyone. I don't fear men and trust me I'm not one of those femi-nazis that cries out "RAPE" when a guy looks at me. I am a very social person and it does not make uncomfortable to be around anyone unless they are genuinely creepy. Basically, I meet a guy and I don't notice anything physical on him until I get to know him.
        
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howaminotmyself

9 years ago

This is a problem? Who are these people who don't believe you? They sound a bit obsessed. You sound perfectly normal to me. There is nothing weird about wanting a meaningful sexual encounter and nothing weird about not having a celebrity crush.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  They were my friends. As explained above I was popular in high school, but as a result of that I guess the majority of people I associated with were shallow and shunned the unknown. And actually, my sexual encounters don't have to be meaningful. I just couldn't have sex with a stranger, because I'm not physically nor sexually attracted to them. I don't find men physically appealing until I develop a bond with them. So, I could have sexual encounters if I was single, but it would have to be with men I am already sexually and physically attracted to (i.e. my friends).
  
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CountessDouche

9 years ago

I feel quite similar to you, OP. I often never feel that spark of initial attraction towards men just based on their appearance. It's not as if I can't recognize a physically attractive man; it's just as if I don't notice. I literally don't bat an eye when I see a random hot guy. It's almost meaningless to me, and I need some type of personal connection with someone before I even pay attention to what they look like. I often find my preferences changing based on a connection with a person, and they're all over the map. The only time I find myself really attracted to random strangers is when they physically resemble another person with whom I have shared an emotional connection.

I don't know that it's normal or not, but I wouldn't say that it's a bad thing. It honestly has saved me from some of the destructive behavior I see in other people who are infatuated with another person solely based on their appearance and not their behavior. There's plenty of good looking assholes in the world; I'm kinda happy that I'm totally not attracted to a single one of them.

I'm surprised that your friends gave you shit about this. Who your attracted to and what you seek out in a partner is nobody else's business...so you're not gonna fap over brad Pitt. Who cares.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Yeah, I was very hurt when people that I thought were my friends teased me over something I had no control of. But, I was popular in high school, so in a way it didn't surprise me that they did it, it was just part of who they are. If they didn't understand something they would shun it. I thought it would end after high school, but there are ignorant people all over this planet I suppose.
  
  It's nice to know that you can relate to me in some way! Nice to know that I'm not completely alone as well :)
  
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

I'm like this too but I think I'm a demisexual. I've never been interested in random girls.

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Are You Normal?

What's wrong with me and is it normal?!