What's the strangest thing you've ever rubbed your balls on?

15 Comments

Not including other human bodies, what's the strangest thing you've ever rubbed your balls on (or, rubbed ON your balls) for the sole purpose of defiling the object?

Please comment!!

Someone's toothbrush. 7
Pillow/bedding (not your own, and not during sex). 6
Kitchen counters or table. 5
Plates, bowls,cups, utensils. 0
Couches or chairs. 1
Food or drink. 4
Doorknobs. 1
Keyboards. 0
Musical instruments. 1
Light switches. 0
Curtains. 0
Eyeglasses. 0
Copy machine. 0
Sporting goods. 0
Pets/animals. 3
Knobs, buttons, on/off switches. 1
All of the above. 2
All of the above and more!! 14
None of the above. 15
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago | pl

    I unleashed them out of the atmosphere and allowed to them swell in the cold expansion of space. They grew and grew. One got a 1st degree burn from a star, but the cold soothed the pain. The other one knocked the moon out of orbit and now it revolves around venus. My testicles were unfazed and continued onward on their journey. They effortlessly knock the astroids aside and said "Hello!" to Halley's comet. They entered the territory of the Outers and avoided Jupiter and Saturn at all costs. They caressed Neptune's atmosphere and became encrusted with diamonds and they shone like a trillion suns. It got to the point where the two felt that they weren't making enough progress together, so they decided to part ways. The Left one Journeyed to the Andromeda Galaxy and the Right one went towards the center of the Milky Way. The Left one found intelligent life and the Right got sucked into a supermassive black hole, went through a wormhole and came out of the white hole. It was in awe of what it saw and planned to continue exploring, but I couldn't take it anymore. My ball sack had reached it's stretching limit and if they floated another step, it would have surely torn off and my semen would have gone everywhere! I quickly grabbed the skin my groin and made sexy motions with my hips and lassoed my balls back to me. I'm sure they were mad at me, but I was more mad at myself when I saw that my ball sack had turned into two gigantic flat balloons upon reentering the planet. I was horrified and then everything went black. When I came to I was in the hospital and the doctor was standing over me. He asked me a few questions and after I answered him he told me that if I ever wanted my testicles to reclaim their former glory I would have to go through testicular therapy. Of course, I agreed to the treatment, which is why I'm currently strapped naked in this contraption....

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    • dappled
      11 years ago

      I absolutely love it when you go off on one like this. :)

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      • Avant-Garde
        11 years ago

        Thank you, goode sir.

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        • dappled
          11 years ago

          Ha! I forgot how much I enjoyed this and I'm kind of glad you commented because now I've just read it again.

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    • meowpower
      11 years ago

      Beautiful.

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      • Avant-Garde
        11 years ago

        Thanks!

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  • drugsrbadmkay
    11 years ago

    Your mom's face.

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  • [email protected]
    11 years ago

    I usually just PISS on things instead of doing that.

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  • GODofGod
    11 years ago

    Your dad's face.

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  • NotFloydzie
    11 years ago

    I don't have balls but I do have breasts.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Are they sweaty, stinky, hairy and laden with fromunda cheese? If not, then you can't possibly defile anything with your boobs.

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      • NotFloydzie
        11 years ago

        Hahahahah

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  • anti-hero
    11 years ago

    I have never rubbed my balls on anything.

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    • dappled
      11 years ago

      I'm glad you said this. I felt temporarily weird, like maybe all men do this and I was the odd one out.

      OP - the only thing that comes near my balls is my fingernails when I'm having a scratch, or a woman (and even then, not all women like balls, and some of them can be a bit heavy-handed so they are disallowed).

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        11 years ago

        Gee, glad you two feel better, now I feel weird.

        Did you ever see the movie Step Brothers with Will Ferrell and John C Reilly? Drum set scene...."I'm going upstairs, cuz I'm gonna rub my nutsack all over your drum set!"

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiYlc-FAGH8&feature=fvwrel

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