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In your opinion, which is the most effective for a child under 10 years old?
| Spanking / slapping / pinching (physical) | 16 | |
| Strong verbal reprimand or ridicule. | 2 | |
| A time-out. (isolation) | 1 | |
| Nagging until they submit to avoid further nagging. | 2 | |
| Taking away a favorite toy or losing privileges. | 14 | |
| Explaining the error of their ways. | 19 | |
| Reinforcement of desirable behaviour. | 7 | |
| A combination of the above (please explain). | 19 | |
| Other (please explain). | 5 |
Really depends on the situation, but I'm not an advocate of physical punishment or ridicule.
And i almost forgot a few important elements. The best way to teach the child to behave is using the reward system. For example, you give the child a task,while promising a reward. And if the child successfully finishes it, the you reward him/her. VERY IMPORTANT! Keep your promise and reward the child for good behavior. This will teach the child that, in order to get things, you have to offer something, to work for it.At the same time the child will have more ambition because at the end of the road, the reward will come. For that, you need to be financially established because rewarding the child will cost a lot.That's why i think that people should think about having a child only after they are financially independent and have everything sorted out regarding their career. Now keep in mind that, this is NOT spoiling. Because the child has to do something in order to be rewarded. Spoiling is if you give the child everything they want unconditionally. That would be a big mistake!
And most importantly, don't be violent with the child. A good raising of your tone should be enough, followed by not rewarding the child in case of misbehavior.
These kids don't understand anything. Some of them are just begging to be hurt and humiliated. If I had a 2-4 year old in my control u better believe she'd be disciplined or humiliated. Probably both just because I can hurt and hit her and she can't defend herself.
I believe in spanking but your ways fascinate me. You changed my view on this topic. Perhaps, have you ever written a book on children or life?
Explaining to them what they did wrong, taking away a toy if the toy was involved, giving them a timeout, having them explain what they learn, tell them next time could be longer.
As the responsible guardian, I have to prepare the child for the real world. This is what happens to us as adults, essentially, so this is what the child should learn to understand.
Spanking can be necessary in extreme cases, but should never be done in anger nor to inflict pain.
Ever see that kid in the super market knocking shit down and he mother says " I don't know why he does this".
Whoop his damn ass.
Loss of toys when bad, getting things when good, explain why all that is happening.
I think the crucial element is to have both a mother and a father figure. That's a hell of a good start. A strong family unit and two parents who respect and love each other. This will eventually project onto the child as a good example of social behavior. A mother contributes with love and understanding, forgiveness and empathy, the father with strictness,ethic, discipline and moral strength. The child should experience both feminine and masculine energy in a perfect balance. And for that the parents should work in unison each with their own wisdom and natural ability. One to nurture, the other to build. Sure, that sounds really textbook but that's how it should be in order to provide a proper climate for the child to grow in a healthy environment. Both mentally and physically.
"Explaining the error of their ways" isn't going to do anything. We aren't born with a sense to do moral unless it benefits us or our kin. I recommend taking away privileges for doing bad things in addition to reinforcing good behaviour with rewards. In extreme cases, corporal punishment.
It not being a thing we are born with is precisely why we explain. How do you think they learn it? :/
Even very young children benefit from explanations. I explained to a fourteen month old that I was putting her down because she bruised my lip. It's not something she'll learn straight off the bat, but she will with repetition. Cause and effect.
Spanking is only useful when you want to turn on your partner, male or female.
What I would do is ignore the child, making it feel vulnerable and really gets the message across that your disappointed in it. Just give it the silent treatment and only speak to it if necessary and make sure its un-enthusiastic. You wont win parent of the year award and you may risk losing a relationship but it probably will work. Make it feel guilty. Thats what I would do.
Make them work. When I was a kid my Dad would make me do work when I got in trouble. I would have to dig ditches in the yard and other pain in the ass chores.
Violence and ridicule towards children only teaches more violence. People who are abused as kids turn into dysfunctional adults who often repeat the cycle.
Nagging and only explaining what they did wrong has no logic in why it would work. That isn't even a consequence. Just an annoyance.
I remember when I was a kid punishment didn't keep me from doing it again. It just make me put more effort into not getting caught next time. I think most kids are that way.
Rewarding good behavior works better than anything.
Get them to read nietzsche, that'll make them behave.......... Or realise life is meaningless