What kind of relationship is this anyway?

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So I've been talking to this guy 6 years older than me online for 5 months. We used to chat every alternate day and he's from another country. We started out as friends but I started to develop feelings for him. We just exchanged pictures and share common interests in occupation, music, religion, politics...and he does flirt with me a lot. However, he's always made it clear that he will never leave his country and I feel selfish for thinking that he should just for me. He's told me he likes me a lot and that I should come there, I've taken pretty much all that as a joke as he has and I told him recently I can't talk to him anymore because I don't want to get more attached to him and get hurt. He said he would stop flirting around with me and he doesn't want to let me go, if we can only stay friends. I don't think this is possible for me. Question is what kind of relationship is this anyway and what would you do in such a situation?

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Based on 18 votes (9 yes)

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Comments ( 12 )

pastor_of_muppets

9 years ago

Trust your first instinct and let go of him. There are so many 'real' people around you...so why go for somebody who lives in another country?

Sooner or later one of you will have serious feelings for the other and all you will get in return is disappointment.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It's all I have gotten and that's why I think it's best for me to end it. I'm being driven insane with uncertainty.
  
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  - pastor_of_muppets
    
    9 years ago
    
    You will feel sad. Maybe even empty for a week tops. But I promise you it is the best choice right now.
    
    All you need to do is realise that you deserve better than that.
    
    I was in a relationship like that once :) So I understand a tiny tad
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      No you understand entirely and thank you so much... I'm into that 'empty week' right now. Just feel like telling him: I miss you... and then just pick up where we left off, but with your reassurance that my choice is correct, I won't.
      
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

Sounds like a waste of time.

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[email protected]

9 years ago

I feel for you and i do understand with online relationships there is always the possibility that either one would get too attached to the other one.

Living in different countries is a recipe for disaster. Pure platonic friendship between a guy and a girl is impossible iMO,but you have no choice as a physical relationship is out of the question.

I would suggest keep him as a friend (with benefits) in that you can do or say anything online and he will still be your friend. Sometimes that is more precious than anything else.

I wish you lots of happiness.

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- seekelp
  
  9 years ago
  
  Why is your username an email? Do you want people to contact you that way? It is the email of an enemy to whom you want people to send spam? What's your angle here?
  
  From your bio:
  "Just a normal guy who likes to interact with females.
  
  I am also open for real private discussions or giving females advice with regards to my own gender. (ANY question will be answered with total honesty.)
  
  Men are not so hard to understand,however sometimes females just don`t get it..LOL"
  
  Based on this, I'm guessing that your goal with this account is primarily to talk to women on the internet. It also appears that English is not your first language. Considering all circumstantial evidence, I think that it's reasonable to conclude that [email protected] is indeed the man in question here.
  
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  - [email protected]
    
    9 years ago
    
    You are indeed correct with most of your observations.eg, English is my second language.
    
    No, i promise i will never ever spam anybody ever.
    
    Sometimes when i read a post, i know i can offer more advice as a friendly stranger,hence i decided to put my email address here as it`s the only way to get in touch with me if a person wishes to do so. ( I enjoy it much more talking to someone on a one on one basis than in a group like this forum)
    
    I live on a farm 34km from the nearest town,therefore interaction with females are far and wide between...and i do enjoy talking to women. And if i can help in any way, i feel real good inside.
    
    And believe me, there are many females out there who don`t have a clue abt the inner workings of men.
    
    I like to see myself as a "Dr Ruth" type of guy..LOL.
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thank you very much. I wish happiness to you as well.
  However, I don't mean to use him that way, especially since my feelings will just grow and I'll be hurt. I didn't do chat rooms at all but one time I started doing it and I had to meet this guy...Personally, I'd rather not have him as a friend at all when he cannot reciprocate my feelings adequately.
  
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davesumba

9 years ago

No, just, no.

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- WhiteStallion
  
  9 years ago
  
  No to what...
  
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(s)aint

9 years ago

I once started to develop feelings for a guy that lived about 10 hours away from me.I was 15-16 and already knew that I didn't want a long-distance relationship. There's indeed a lot of nice people closer to you and I handled my situation by simply starting to ignore him ... sadly- Later in life, some years after we picked up contact and from my end it's pure platonic- though he has dropped some hints that he would want more.
Told him to drop it and if he ever does it again I'll stop talking to him alltogether.

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Are You Normal?

What kind of relationship is this anyway?