What is wrong with me! bipolar?!

46% Normal
18 Comments

Mum has bipolar as well as schizophrenia. Mum has noticed my rapid moods wings, eating habits, the way I act and ability to function since I was literally 8. When every my mood would change my brother would say are you bipolar or something? And it got me thinking.
I have times where I will yell at people who talk to me when I'm upset or angry, I never eat properly, I change the way I see myself; like one minute I may think in beautiful and skinny, perfect really. Other times I think I'm ugly and I need to loose weight when really I'm just currently underweight. I have delayed reactions like when I was told my pa died I was fine for 10 minutes then bam! I was crying. I have tried to kill myself once but thought of it a thousand times but then I have times where I laugh at anything! Like literally! My attention span is literally of a goldfish!! Sometimes I have increased thought at a billion miles an hour and basically can't shut up! This sounds weird but sometimes I feel as if I'm in a dream, it's so weird! I get paranoid sometimes I feel as if I'm being watched or followed when walking down the street. I argue with whoever gets in my way. I ustoo be a very shy girl now I don't care I'm loud and prepared to lash out! I have times where I feel better then anyone and times where I feel like I don't exist.
This is gonna go on forever, so any advice?

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 57 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • Anime7
    12 years ago

    Meditating might help you learn to balance yourself out.

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    • hemper
      12 years ago

      definitely second this, i believe i have a minor case of bipolar as well (nothing i can't control with willpower in the past, and it doesn't need controlling anymore since i started to meditate)

      i actually got a lot of resources if you want to try that out along with breathing excercises and the such. just reply and i'll post a bunch of shit and explain some more in detail.

      think of meditation as going to the gym except for your mind, it's necessary especially for people like you who don't have it all together (not sayin this in a bad way just want to help :))

      good luck with it :)

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      • Anime7
        12 years ago

        You don't sound like you a have a mental disorder. Although this is the internet. Either ways, I think you can help the OP better than I can. You seem more familiar with bipolarity, not that it's a bad thing to be familiar with.

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        • hemper
          12 years ago

          ha yea that is true perhaps what i had before was just depression but i def got mood swings, some days i would not like myself at all, other days would be great, i had all the symptoms as stated by the op except the suicide part although all in lesser degrees, but either way there have been many people who claim to have controlled their mental health by meditating, either this or go see a psychoanalyst/psychiatrist, i would say a psychoanalyst first cuz i got greater respect for them (since they themselves have been on the couch for long hours before they are allowed to become a psychoanalyst)

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  • MissWhip
    12 years ago

    Most likely hormones.

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  • duckmoopoo
    12 years ago

    So could it be possible that you failed to grow a proper attachment with your mother because of her bipolar and schizophrenia? The reason I feel PTSD is a -possibility- is because you talk about hyper vigilance, anxiety, low self esteem, dissociation (feeling like its a dream), racing thoughts (what do your thoughts race towards? anything in particular?). Anyway let me know if you find out. If it is you're in luck. PTSD is curable, bi polar is not.

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  • duckmoopoo
    12 years ago

    Talk to a therapist (not a psychiatrist, they prescribe drugs therapists do not), I can't say what you have because I don't know all the details and I don't want to diagnose you, but it sounds similar to the symptoms I experience with chronic PTSD. Would you consider how you grew up a traumatic experience? My mother is hypothesized to have psychopathy based on psychological evaluations on her, and because of the lack of attachment I had to her I began to develop problems early on and then some things happened which lead to my chronic PTSD.

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    • FairyUnicorn.23
      12 years ago

      I have a rough life an was sexually abused at 7, I did receive counselling for 6 months.

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      • duckmoopoo
        12 years ago

        Yeah, you may want to think about the possibility of PTSD given that factor. See if there's any way for you to receive counseling. Be firm and clear if you don't want medicine, and don't let them persuade or con you into it. Try reading "I Can't get over it" by Aphrodite Matsakis, that book helped me a lot and it also goes through the DSM-V checklist for a diagnosis of PTSD. I got my book for $3.50 used on amazon.

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  • heywhatsgoingon
    12 years ago

    i got epilepsy and adhd and feel like this quite alot except the bit about being followed thats just paranoia... can i just ask do you or have you ever smoked weed? oh and one tip do not go to a counsellor and be like oh ive thought about suicide or they'll just put you on anti depressants which will just make everything worse... it could be hormones or it could just be adhd, but it isnt bipolar because, bipolar mainly consists of months of depression like not being able to get out of bed...

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    • FairyUnicorn.23
      12 years ago

      I do have months of feeling depressed and at the moment for the past 3, and no I have never smoked weed in my life.

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  • Maggie143
    12 years ago

    I am bipolar. that used to be really hard for me to admit, but seeing a therapist and Dr. and being on medication have really helped me. Many people are afraid to seek treatment for a mental illness because of the stigma that it carries. People think of mental illness as not being a disease because they can't "see" it. But if you were diabetic you would take insulin to control it. I, like you have attempted suicide but four times. PLEASE before anything happens that hurts you, seek professional help. This will be a long road ahead of you. Good luck.

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  • Ono
    12 years ago

    Is bipolar this months OCD which was last months ADHD?
    For someone who supposedly grew up with someone with bipolar disorder you would think you would know more about its actual symptoms.
    Most of your symptoms don't seem all that abnormal, the reaction to death for example. Check it out with a doctor if you're concerned though.

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    • FairyUnicorn.23
      12 years ago

      I have times where I will act strange, but won't quite remember it properly. I can go days without sleeping and be the happiest person! I get times where for maybe months at a time I feel like I have a depression as probably mentioned above. I sometimes see things or hear that Arnt there, I don't want to sound like a weirdo but sometimes it scares me, i get told I have like adrenaline rushes where I move quick and talk quick, but others im slow. Its either living on top of the world, or hating everything around me and myself, I will admit I have my normal times. But it's never ending.

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    • duckmoopoo
      12 years ago

      It's normal to have questions about your sanity ono, so don't attack her by implying that she's part of some "fad" to have a disorder, I really hate when people do that. It's bad morale.

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    I thought I had bipolar, but now I think it might be schizophrenia. I wish someone would've taken the time to figure it out so, I wouldn't have to suffer for so long>_<

    I can relate with your feelings.
    Your mother has both bipolar & schizophrenia so, that means the risks of you having/developing these conditions are quite high. I would try to get it checked. Maybe, you could see the same doctor that diagnosed your mother?

    Good Luck!

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  • rin
    12 years ago

    Do we have the same mommy? :)

    Brothers can be annoying. I remember mine use to always say I'll end up like my mom because he knew it bothered me.

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  • Energy
    12 years ago

    I'm kind of like you. Yes, I'm pretty sure we have Bipolar, lol. I'm thinking about trying medication. I'm so sick of my lows! I do love my highs though.

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