What is the normal thing to do: take initiative or let him come to me?

6 Comments

I been at a new gym for about a month now.

On my first day, I said a few words with this total stud while waiting for him to finish up on equipment I meant to use. Two days later I saw him on the treadmill, we made eye contact and I shot him a big smile. He smiled back, and I pretty much just melted.

We went through a smiling phase and I think he attempted to approach me, though I wasn't very receptive because he's so hot my social skills shut down. After being kind of distant in response to his attempts, I f-cked up pretty bad. I was doing ab work on the floor, took a break and spaced out looking through the mirror in front of me. I shifted my eyes, and noticed him there looking in my direction. I immediately thought he thought I was staring at him so I ducked quickly, and continued with my exercises. After that, he barely noticed me. He would walk by without a word.

The window opportunity thus seemed passed. I saw him one Sunday and thought I have to redeem myself. I was so nervous I put all my energy into walking over to him. I didn't have much to say, and I don't think I redeemed anything. He must now think I am a nervous creeper.

I REALLY want to bang him and know he would like me if he knew me. What should I do? Also, he has a twin brother who is always there. Imagine him as an obstacle, a cock (or conversation) block. HUH.

Take initiative (so he knows he has a green light) 9
Act nonchalant (see if he takes initiative) 1
Give it up, it's over. 0
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Maya05
    11 years ago

    Doing nothing will result in just that. If you want something you need to go after it. I'm not saying to just go up to him and ask if he wants to bang. (Although that could work for some people I guess) Just try and casually talk to him. I know it's difficult, I'm socially awkward in a lot of situations, so try going over what you'll say before hand. And whatever you do, don't think about all the things that could go wrong, that never helps in these situations. Hope this helps, I wish you luck :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I don't want to look desperate yo! I've gone out of my way to cross paths, smile at him, say hi to him or his brother. I'm just worried that there's only so much of that a girl can do. Is it considered chasing? Do men even like that? But anyway, I'm going to keep my mind open. Thanks! I needed to hear that it is in my control.

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      • Maya05
        11 years ago

        Come up with something to strike a conversation with him. That's the best place to start. And you won't come off as desperate if you are making casual conversation with him. Who knows, maybe he is kinda shy to talk to you as well. The hardest part is always breaking the ice, but if you can get past that part it shouldn't be too difficult. Hopefully it all works out though :)

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  • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
    11 years ago

    Guys really like a confident woman. Go out and talk to him! Women really have a small margin of error when it comes to things like this so there's a large chance you'll score him.

    Signed,
    Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I was so confident at first! I feel as if I missed the chance in the beginning of our acquaintanceship. I am going to keep at it, though I am embarrassed.

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      • KnightNigelWellingtonXXI
        11 years ago

        He's obviously is attracted to you. There's no chance of him not wanting to do anything with you. Trust me, you haven't missed your chance at all. Also, don't be embarrassed!

        Signed,
        Knight Nigel Wellington XXI

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